Chapter 5:

Bruma

Luca found himself standing in the middle of a snowy field in the middle of the forest, standing with his feet only covered in a pair of flimsy house slippers as he stood, dressed in sweatpants and a light sweater outside in the snow. Flakes fell down with rapid succession, making Luca feel cold as he rubbed his arms with his reddening hands. His breath exited his mouth in small clouds of warm air. 

How did I get here? There were no footsteps around him, only the sound of wind whistling through the various evergreen trees surrounding him. As he stepped forward, he could hear the crunching sound of snow beneath his feet. As he walked, he could feel the moisture eat at the bottoms of his feet, making him feel colder than before. His teeth chattered audibly.

“Felix?” Luca called, raising the thin hood on the sweater as he walked, bundling himself together closer. “Ms. Lowell?” He called out other names, but there was no response still, making Luca feel more anxious.

With his heart beating quickly in his chest, Luca continued to press forward, finding himself even more lost in the mysterious woods in the middle of a blizzard. Having grown up in such a climate, Luca knew better than to go outside dressed so poorly, especially in such vicious weather. He could only wonder if he had sleepwalked, something he had never remembered doing before, or if he was dreaming. If he was dreaming, it was so realistic that he could feel the cold eating away at his body. If he were to stay out here any longer, he would freeze to death. He had to keep moving to keep himself warm. 

I can’t forget what I learned that summer… During summer break between college semesters, Luca had worked at an outdoor nature centre, teaching children and adults how to survive in the forest if they were ever to find themselves lost in all kinds of weather. One of the things he taught was how to build shelter and create a fire using limited resources.

However, part of that fire building included using a flint, which he did not have. Any and all of the dead wood and sticks around him were wet with snow, and there was not a safe place to build a shelter in the clearing without risk of it collapsing under the weight of the rapidly falling snow. Luca could only groan, feeling useless as he continued to move his limbs awkwardly and walked towards the north, hoping to find some sign of human life. 

Time had passed, but Luca could feel his body trembling harder and harder, tremors heavily raking his body until the shivers stopped altogether some time into his journey. His fingers were beginning to become stiff, and using the only little body warmth left in his body, he put his hands into his pants and held them near his inner thigh, using the natural heat of his body to warm them as much as he could. The woods could not be this large. He would be able to find someone soon, he hoped.

His breathing became laboured just as he could hear the sound of people yelling nearby. There were lights flashing to and fro in the air, and Luca could hear the voices shouting out to him. His mind was dizzy and he found it difficult to walk solidly on his own two feet, but he continued walking as fast as he could, attempting to scream loudly as he could.

“Help! Help me!” His screams were slightly slurred by the cold, and his lips had turned a dark shade of violet, but he did not care. He continued to scream unintelligibly until the voices became closer and closer to where he stood in the woods. 

Just as the flashlights reached near him, Luca felt his knees give out, and his jerky body had no energy to catch him. He fell face down into the snow, his body rapidly losing the last of its heat and energy with him. The figures rushed towards him, and all he could see were the blurry bright lights of flashlights, followed by the panicked screams of what sounded like men. 

Why…? Luca was confused who these rescuers were, but he did not care. All he could hope was that they were quick enough to save his life. 

“Luca!” Laying on the ground, all Luca could hear were the muffled screams of the people. As he laid, losing his bearings, he could feel a figure fall to the ground beside him, shaking his shoulders as they lifted his head into their lap. The person, wearing warm gloves, removed the gloves and pressed their warm palm against Luca’s pale face. “Stay with me, Luca!”

More people came to assist, but the person holding Luca was adamant, going so far as to pick him up from the snow and carry him to where the ambulance was waiting. The flurried voices disappeared as Luca closed his eyes, his body focusing only on the warm hands of the person carrying him. 

With his thoughts in disorder from the cold, all Luca could think was, So warm. With that last thought, Luca lost consciousness. 

… 

“Hey, Luca?” The chill of the dream still haunted Luca until he woke up from his restless sleep. He could feel Felix shaking his shoulder, speaking to him in a gentle voice as he attempted to wake up Luca. Luca, being a heavy sleeper, could sleep through almost anything, though as soon as he heard Felix’s voice, something made him wake up, and his eyes opened quickly to meet Felix’s worried gaze. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m alright.” Luca said, dazed as he lifted his left hand and looked at his fingers. They were no longer raw and pale, tinting purple from frostbite. Looking at his rounded fingertips and petite nails, he felt a wave of relief rush over him, as if last night had never happened. 

Luca sat up and sighed, resting his hands in his lap as the comforter fell down from his chin, making him look sleepy. His eyes were a little fuzzy still, and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing the gunk out of his tear ducts. Though his movements were slow, Luca’s heart was still beating rapidly, and his chest was still rising up and down. Felix saw this and took a step back from the bed, asking in his usual gentle voice, “Did you have a nightmare?”

Luca paused, knowing he could not hide anything from his observant roommate. “Yeah.” He said in a low voice, sighing. 

Years ago, Luca was taken into the orphanage after being abandoned on the doorstep of the church as a baby in winter. Due to the time of day he was abandoned, it had taken some time for the church members to find him, resting in his moses basket wrapped in a small, down baby blanket. He was covered only by a thin blue onesie and a small blue baby hat with a note resting to the side of the blanket. The temperature that day rested at about thirty degrees, but still baby Luca had cried from the cold until a service member went to investigate some time after, where he was then found and taken to the hospital to be treated for hypothermia.

It was not until years later that a similar incident happened where Luca had gotten lost in the woods near the orphanage in the middle of winter, just after a large blizzard had torn though the area. He had gone into the woods to collect sticks, but shortly after, he disappeared. It took many hours to find Luca. They found him standing alone in his snow boots and a sweater, crying with tears streaming down his cheeks as he ran to Ms. Lowell and the rescuers. Once the rescuers did and questioned Luca, he could not remember how he had gotten outside, let alone how he had gotten himself lost in the woods that day. 

From that day forward, Luca began to have nightmares at night of being lost in the woods. In the dreams, Luca would not remember what had happened, but when he was awake everything was fresh in his mind again, haunting him again and again like a broken record. When he would wake up, he would scream, often scaring the other boys in the dormitory awake. It was almost impossible to console Luca afterwards, but the nuns would often hug him and sing hymns to the room of boys until they were able to sleep again. More often than not, Luca would fake sleep to avoid troubling the sisters. 

It was not until Felix arrived at the orphanage when Luca was four years old. Felix was older than Luca by two years, but he often would act younger due to the abusive household he had grown up in. Upon first sight, the shy Felix attached onto the social Luca, and the two became inseparable ever since, even sleeping in the same bunk bed. Most nights Felix would ask Luca to sleep on the bottom bunk with him during the middle of the night, when the nuns had already gone to bed. This continued until Luca left the orphanage with his new family. 

Of anyone still in the orphanage, only Felix and Ms. Lowell would know of his nightmares. Luca would be embarrassed if anyone else were to know. Thankfully, Felix had still kept his secret, even now.

As Luca pulled aside the covers and crawled down from the bed, Felix grabbed a fresh set of clothes from his closet and said, “If you need to talk to me, I’m here.” 

Standing on the ground with his two feet, Luca smiled in response, “Thanks, Felix. I really appreciate that.” Luca and Felix were always open with each other. Being so open was not something strange for them, even after all these years. Luca found it nice that their relationship had not changed. 

The children were already running down the halls to get dressed for the morning, so Luca decided to change in Felix’s room while the bathroom was busy. Rummaging through his suitcase, he was able to find a plain sports hoodie and a warm pair of jeans. Without a second thought, he placed the clothes on the top bunk and then took off his pyjama shirt with a fluid pull over his head. Felix shot a look over his shoulder at Luca, who had his back turned to him and was in the process of taking off his pants. 

Due to his physical activity, Luca’s body was toned and muscular all over, especially in his legs. Luca’s calves were strong and defined, with gentle slopes and hard lines where the muscles rested under the delicate layer of skin. Looking up casually, Felix took in his muscular core. Though he could only see his back, the firm lines and thin waist were hard to look away from. With his thoughts drifting elsewhere, Felix sneakily retracted his gaze and turned to the pile of clothes in front of him. He was not shy of changing in front of Luca, so he quickly removed his own shirt and changed into a pale beige sweater before Luca had finished putting on his pants. 

“Looks like you haven’t been missing the gym either, huh, Felix?” Luca joked as he put his leg into his jeans.

Felix laughed in response, “It’s from playing with the kids. They really keep me on my toes.” The pair laughed together, reminded of old times. 

The two were quick to finish changing, and just as Luca had placed his phone in his pocket, it began to vibrate as the default ringtone chimed aloud from the phone. Felix had already walked to the door and had prepared to open it just as the phone call came in. With an awkward laugh, Luca looked at the contact name before he smiled brightly and said to Felix, “It’s my mom.” The contact photo was of a smiling older woman and Luca.

Just as Luca answered the phone, Felix smiled and released his hand from the door knob, looking over his shoulder at Luca, who was standing by the bunk bed with the phone to his ear. The smile on his face was bright, and he laughed sweetly as he spoke, looking especially radiant to Felix, just as he had all those years ago. Luca’s brown eyes were curved into crescents, and his smile danced on his face gently as he spoke.

“Hey, Mom. Did you just get up?” As Luca spoke to his mother, Felix quietly opened the door to his bedroom before he walked out, shutting the wooden door on his way out.

Luca’s adopted mother, Louisa, was a sweet woman. A year after the death of their young son, she and her husband, Carter, decided to adopt a boy from the orphanage. This boy was the young Luca, who had caught the eye of the couple as they were touring the orphanage one day. They had recently lost their son, and the pain was still just as strong as it was the day her biological son died. When she saw Luca, she thought of him as her own son, as if he had never died, and Carter, her husband, never denied her. While it hurt knowing he was a replacement, Luca was happy enough to have a family to call his own. 

Though, the thought of being a replacement also hung on the back burner of his mind, and he could never quite feel at home in their family home, even though Louisa was as sweet and loving as any parent could be. 

Sometimes Luca was anxious, worrying if Felix held any hard feelings towards the couple, as they were unwilling to adopt Luca and Felix together. But when Felix wrote letters to Luca, he would always ask how his adoptive family was doing and would send small gifts on occasion for them. 

How could Felix be so attentive of them and hate them? Thinking that, Luca shook these thoughts away and continued his conversation. “Mom, I was thinking of staying here until Sunday, to stay for service, and then take the train home. Do you mind if I come home then?”

There was a short pause on the phone before Louisa spoke, “I would prefer you to come home earlier, but it’s up to you. I haven’t seen you in a long time, but I’m sure Felix and Ms. Lowell are even more excited to have you there after so long.” Her nasally voice cut through the phone with her warm tone, sounding soft. “It’s okay. I’ll buy some ingredients and make you a special homemade dinner, hm? Tell Felix to visit soon, and that I hope he’s well.”

“Will do, Mom. Thanks.” Luca smiled. 

Louisa laughed, “Alright, honey. I’ll see you Sunday. I love you.” 

“Love you too, mom.” Luca made a kiss noise into the phone. “Bye.”

He quickly hung up the phone and walked to the door, placing the cell phone in his back pants pocket before he opened the door to the hall. It was already eight o’clock, so most of the children had already prepared to go to breakfast. After washing, changing, and making their beds, the children would then go together to the dining hall, where the children would line up by age and go inside by the direction of the adults. 

Breakfast is going to start soon. I better hurry to the dining hall. Luca thought to himself as he looked down the empty hallway. He could hear the faint voices of the children down the end of the hallway. Felix would probably be helping with breakfast, so Luca decided to head into the dining hall early to see if there was anything he could do to help while he was staying at the orphanage. 

He did not want to have idle hands, after all, and appear lazy. Ms. Lowell hated nothing more than laziness. 

Luca’s stomach growled faintly just as he closed the door to Felix’s room. He let out an embarrassed sigh as he rubbed his stomach and said to it, “Be quiet for now. You’ll be fed soon.” Hopefully his stomach would listen to that, at least. Shooting a look back to the bedroom, Luca picked up his pace as he hurried down the hall in his inside slippers, keeping a fast pace 

…