Day 19

They were sitting next to each other in silence, waiting for the pizza and scrolling through Netflix to decide what to watch. Derek had kept his distance ever since Pete tried to hug him. He felt horrible. “Derek?” “Hm?” “Did I ruin it?” Derek averted his gaze from the TV in surprise. “Ruin what?” “My chances. This date. Just… everything?” Derek hesitated then he put the remote down. “Can I touch you?” He asked and Pete, unsure of what to expect, nodded. Derek reached his hand out and pulled Pete by his leg closer to him. His knees were touching Derek’s leg and their faces were only a few inches apart. “The short answer is no, Peter. You didn’t ruin everything. Not this date and not your chances either. We’re still getting to know each other. Now you know I don’t like being touched without consent. I know that you don’t cook often.” He smiled softly but his words didn’t comfort Pete. “I thought you kept your distance because you hated me and that we’re ordering pizza because you didn’t want to cook with me.” He tilted his head. “You didn’t listen while I explained how to make the dumplings, did you?” Pete gulped. His cheeks were already blushing. “I may have been a bit distracted.”

“Even before you hugged me I said we should order Pizza because I forgot something important. You worry too much, Peter.” Derek furrowed his brows. “Is that why you’ve been so quiet?” “I was scared that you’d ask me to leave if I said something stupid again.” “Can I touch your face, Peter?” “You don’t have to ask. It’s always a yes.” Derek gently cupped Pete’s cheek and made him look into his eyes, those olive green emeralds that Pete wanted to engrave in his mind. “I like to take things slow. I’m not being distant with you, I’m waiting for us to get closer. Remember, Peter, I asked you if you wanted to continue this. We’re different people with different…” He didn’t continue. Pete knew that he meant their age gap. They both grew up in almost different eras but nine years wasn’t a lot. Okay yes, when Pete had been eight Derek was already seventeen. In the past such a relationship would have been weird but Pete liked Derek. He wanted to try it out. Even if it was tougher to find a movie they both liked. Even if they had different expectations of each other and a relationship. “We can figure it out. Everything. I know what you mean, Derek. But I think I really like you and I want to try.” “Why, Peter? Why are you interested in me?” “You’re beautiful, in the way Helen was. I would totally start a war for you.” “I’m not an object.” Pete decided to ignore that comment. “You’re smart. And you,” he gulped. “You’re brave. Getting your first degree when you’re thirty-three, knowing that the rest of the students will be at least half a decade younger, that’s brave. And admirable. You said you worked for a company before? I’m sure most of your colleagues would have never done that, even if they were dissatisfied with their jobs. They would have accepted that and continued but you’re making your own decisions. You quit your job because you wanted more, no matter how scary that was. For that I really-” Pete sighed. “I really admire you.”

“You admire me?” Pete leaned into the hand that was cupping his cheek and nodded. “I want to get to know you more.”