Day 20

The pizza arrived and interrupted their heartfelt moment. After that they quickly decided to watch ‘The Perfume’ since neither of them had seen it yet but considered it a classic to know. During the movie Pete tried to concentrate but his gaze always shifted towards Derek. Half an hour into it he cleared his throat. “Derek?” He stopped the movie and faced him. “Yes?” “Can I hold your hand?” “I’m beginning to think your love language is physical touch.” Pete chuckled. “Maybe. What’s yours?” “I don’t know.” Pete frowned. He pulled his legs closer and inclined his head. “You don’t know?” “No, I don’t. It’s been a while since my last relationship. I never considered it important.” Derek shrugged his shoulders. Pete noticed him glancing at his cigarette pack and inched closer. He pulled out his phone. “We’re going to find out now.” “Are you sure a test on the internet will be accurate?” “Derek, please. If it weren’t for all the ‘Am I gay?’ tests I wouldn’t even know I could be into you.” Pete googled the quiz and cleared his throat. “Okay, first question: It’s more meaningful to me when someone sends a random text I love you, miss you etc. or when someone hugs me?” “Neither.” “Neither is not an option. I’m choosing the first one since you only like to be touched with consent, so random hugs are a bad choice.” Derek laughed loudly at that. “Are you going to do the quiz for me?” “If you give me stupid answers, yes.” His cheeks were tainted in a red colour again. “Next one: It’s more meaningful to me when I hear from them that they love me or I receive a gift from them.” “Hearing those words.” “Hearing them say they’re proud or receiving their help?” Derek hesitated. Pete glanced up from his phone and noticed how concentrated Derek thought about this question. “I think I’d rather hear that someone is proud of me. Communicating feelings is important and I like affirmations.” “Spending time with them or hearing supportive words?” “Supportive words.” “Compliments about your appearance or realising they listen carefully to you and understand your feelings?” “Second.” Pete lowered his phone. They weren’t finished with the quiz, not by far but he already realised what the outcome would be.

“Words of affirmations.” He said and Derek hinted a smile. “Did your little internet test tell you that?” “No, you did. We didn’t even finish the test but everything you told me leads to this. Your love language is words of affirmation.” He groaned loudly and hid his face in his hands. “This is the worst. I'm horrible at giving affirmations! All I ever say is weird stuff.” Derek rolled his eyes at Pete. “Your words are meaningful in their own way.” “I said you’re beautiful like Helen and you responded with ‘I’m not an object.’ We both know I’m not good with words.” “How incredibly funny considering you’re a literature student.” “Those aren’t my words. I read because I can’t talk. Books have always told the stories I could never tell. All those poems express the feelings I can’t even name.” “You’re worrying again.” Derek observed. “Why are you worrying?” Pete bit down on his lip. “What if I can’t say what you need to hear?” There was a moment of silence between them. “Peter, do you believe that a couple can only work out if they share the same love language?” He shrugged and Derek leaned closer. He gently touched Pete’s chin and lifted his head until their eyes met. “Love is love, no matter in what language. In the case that we start dating, whether you hug me with consent or tell me how much you admire me doesn’t matter. You’d be telling me you love me in your own way. My preferred love language may differ from yours but it doesn’t mean I won’t understand you. I see you trying Pete, for god knows what reason you’re putting in so much effort to make these dates work. Your effort is neither word nor hug and yet I know it comes from a place of admiration and if I dare assume, love.” Pete’s heart skipped a beat. “Thank you.” He whispered and closed his eyes for a moment. “Can we sit closer to each other?” “Yes.” “Can we share the blanket?” “Yes.” Derek waited for the last question. “Can I lean on you?” Pete was scared of being rejected but instead Derek put his arm around Pete and pulled him closer until his head was leaning against the older man’s chest. This is it, he thought. This is the moment I really fall in love with him.