Technically, it wasn’t even Rin’s shift right now. However, everyone had to be present to manoeuvre the Hopestar into the service dock, and now they had a free period. Most of the first shift were sleeping in the corridor adjacent to the cockpit (there was nowhere else to go. The life support was cycled out from the rest of the ship except for one engineering compartment. The overhauls were being done in full nograv exosuits. Rin could see a couple of external cameras on one of the screens but barely any of that made sense to him). It was an “early morning” for the third shift but Rin didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. Some of his shiftmates were also dozing off in their seats, and the second shift were the only ones active and cheery. Maybe it was their default state, but most probably it was because their dedicated shift involved no work today. 

The only first shift member who stayed in the cockpit was Andrade. However, for the last half an hour, everyone kept on throwing small glances back at him because despite sitting almost perfectly upright, he hadn't moved even an inch. 

“I’m telling you, he is asleep.” Karim posted on the private pilots board. Rin learned of its existence only a few days ago, and Mikey looked very convincing when he exclaimed that he simply forgot to send him an invitation.

“Yeah? Want to check this by saying something about him and that blond steward he has been seen with?” replied Oddi and snickered to herself at her station.

“I may be stupid, but I don’t have a death wish. Make Mikey do that.”

“Yes, throw me under the bus, I was just thinking about how little shit I’m already receiving.”

“All I’m saying, you are an actual pilot and not as easily replaceable.”

Mikey rolled his eyes and sunk deeper into his seat with a pout. Their control station was equidistant from the others on both sides, so with the general hum of the life support and instrument beeping, they had a chance of talking on private comm without anyone hearing that. Seeing how Devon stopped answering 10 minutes ago (probably finally busy with his actual job), Rin turned his seat slightly to face his copilot and asked: “Need to vent?”

They’ve started doing this last week. The first few days were quite tense between them, but despite Mikey’s variness of Rin’s “origin” he still needed to constantly talk to someone. As Rin started getting more okay with the idea that he was now here on the Hopestar and maybe he would like to stay for a bit longer, he started to initiate the conversations first. Mikey always looked relieved to be granted permission to dump a word avalanche on him.

“I doubt you’d want me to whine about this particular topic.” Mikey mumbled and managed a sour smile.

Rin looked back over his shoulder to the Chief Pilot’s station. Nah, Andrade was definitely asleep. His upper body was ever so slightly sliding to the left now.

Rin pondered this for a moment. Did he really want to hear about Mikey’s love life? Well, not really? Was it because it was about a man fancying another man? Uhm… no? Well, it was still a bit embarrassing but not really in a disgusting way. He just didn’t really like interpersonal gossip. Romantic relationships were private for a reason, right? But this wasn’t like this: Mikey clearly wanted to share but everyone else in the cockpit would just tease him about it.

“I don’t promise to offer you any useful advice.” Rin smiled and shrugged with one shoulder. He hoped he wasn’t blushing. “I can also just pretend I’ve heard nothing afterwards.”

Mikey couldn’t help but snort at this. He also threw a short glance back at Andrade, then leaned ever so slightly closer. 

“It just sucks, you know? Him being the man he is… Knowing that he found someone new to fancy and it’s not me once again? And then… even if one day it would be me, would I even want it to be a one-time thing?”

That was a valid worry, Rin thought. He only ever dated Maggie before and it lasted for over a year. (He caught the outnet connection when they docked, and there was a notification for a letter from Maggie. But Rin was scared to open it yet.) He had friends who would have short hookups from time to time, but he didn’t feel like engaging with something like this. “You would want a proper relationship.” 

Mikey nodded then sighed unhappily. “Of course. But as far as I know, the only long relationship he is known to have been in was with Haasan, and see what it ended like- what?”

Rin wasn’t sure what jolted this surprise but he stared at him in disbelief. “Seriously?” he almost whispered, he really didn’t want them to be heard now. “The two of them were?...”

Mikey mimed an ‘I know right?!’ expression then leaned even closer. “Obviously, I wasn’t here yet when it was a thing. From what I’ve heard, they got hired to the ship at the same time, and being two newbies they were quite inseparable. And fucking horny.” He squirmed. “Can’t imagine anyone being horny for Haasan. Dude’s just legs.”

There was this strange feeling again that Rin really needed to unpack in his own private time later. He decided to pretend it wasn’t there. He had a whole life of practising doing it, after all. “But then something happened? And now they hate each other?”

“As far as I know. Maybe they got tired of each other. Maybe the ‘spark’ has faded and they realised how disgusted they were with one another. It was ugly too, I’ve heard rumours of actual physical fights in the corridors. Though, these could be just someone’s fantasies. Most of those who worked on Hopestar almost fifteen years ago are in higher positions and they don’t share that much with newer folk.” Mikey looked at the Chief Pilot’s station. “As you can imagine, he won’t share either.”

Rin snorted, then shivered. “And I’m happy he doesn’t.”

They chuckled together.

Mikey looked at Rin’s side of the station and after a pause commented: “This is why I think you should be careful with reading from a library interface close to the shift switch. If Andrade sees it, he’ll be convinced this is Haasan’s way to get at him.”

Rin felt a pang of annoyance that made him go defensive right away. “That’s bullshit, Haasan is not getting at him by giving me books the same way as everyone else.”

“Yes, yes, but that’s what Andrade would assume anyways. And you don’t want to be on his bad side.”

This made Rin sigh heavily. Andrade seemed to be acting cold and harsh towards everyone in the cockpit, so whatever this “bad side” could be, it had to be worse than this. Rin had a clean week of not being publicly humiliated for the lack of skill and he wanted to keep it this way.

“Did the previous pilot leave because she got on his bad side?”

Mikey blinked and thought about this for a bit. “Not as far as I know… Well, they hated each other. And, now that I think of it, this seems to be a common thing for his exes…”

“They were exes?” Rin sighed with a sour expression.

“Yeaaah… They were already exes when I got hired.” Mikey groaned and threw his head back. “Rin, why did my stupid heart get into this stupid situation?!”

Rin chuckled and reached to pat him on the shoulder. At the same time Andrade stirred in his chair and straightened with a little cough. So they dropped the conversation.

Rin would’ve loved to continue reading, but now he was uncertain he should do it. So instead he checked the mail on his personal interface and finally opened the letter from Maggie. He might as well get some closure. He could see it was an actual reply with more than one sentence, which sparked hope in his chest.

“Dear Rin,

Never ever start your letter with a good-bye! You have no idea what I immediately assumed! I was ready to call a hotline so someone would check on your wellbeing!

Also, how dare you assume I would not want to have anything to do with you because there is an extra stamp in your ID?! We’ve known each other for over 5 years! What do I care for the opinion of a clerk in the documents office?! You are my dearest friend, and I love you, and I am ready to help you in any way possible. Which would be much easier if you stayed on Earth!

Please, write back when you reach Colossus. I always knew you’d be the first to reach the colonies out of the two of us, but I didn’t think it would be that fast or under these circumstances. And do tell me everything about Hopestar! That ship is legendary!

Just remember that you are not alone.

Keeping you in my thoughts,

Maggie.”

Rin leaned back in his chair and breathed out. Okay, so she didn’t hate him. And maybe he still had support and a human connection back on Earth. Somehow, this made him more anxious. Did he want to spend the rest of his life on Hopestar? Assimilate into this stamped society and learn to live their way. Or he could return to Earth after one full circle and try to find his luck in the cradle of humanity? He didn’t know the answer.

Hopestar was not what he expected. But it didn’t feel like home for now either.

He took a deep breath and started writing a reply.

“Dear Maggie,

You won’t believe how crazy these last two weeks were…”