Roland’s POV

“Roland.”

My fingertips ached as my frustration grew. 

“Roland you need to take a break.”

My head hurt from grinding my teeth as I tried to figure out what was wrong with this stupid radio. 

“It’s been 3 hours,” Andrew unhelpfully adds as I leaned over to plug the radio into the wall. I nearly threw it when nothing comes through the speakers. 

“It might just be broken. It’s old; old things can’t always be fixed.”

“It’s the plug wires,” I mumbled to myself. “Could even be the wires in the radio. There’s a disconnect somewhere.”

“You can’t fix that Roland.”

“Yea I can,” I scoffed as I looked up to him for the first time since I got here. 

I hadn’t bothered saying a word to him when I saw the radio sitting on the desk with tools laying all around it. My eyes had focused on the appliance and began playing with it before he had the chance to say anything. 

When I turned it on and no sound played I hadn’t wasted a second in unplugging the radio and prying the front of it off. 

I don’t know how long I had stayed there trying to figure out what had gone wrong with the radio but now that I had a better idea of the problem there was no way I stopping now. 

“I just need to cut the cord.” 

Mind the wires Roland. Don’t want to damage the good ones just so you fix the bad ones.

I nod to myself at the familiar voice as I stare down at the radio. The cord was thick; I wasn’t getting the wires without some help. 

“Do you have scissors?”

“Not on me, no,” Andrew sighed as he leaned back in his chair. 

“A knife would work too.”

“I don’t have a knife Roland.”

“I might could get a fork to work,” I mumbled as I stared down at the thick cord. A small hole had already started to form at the base of the cord where it plugged into the radio. If I could stab the prong into the hole I might be able to push the prong all the way down the cord and cut it enough to reveal the wires; from there fixing them would be easy if I could get my hands on a solder rig.

When Andrew doesn’t respond I look up at him to make sure he heard me but he only stares at me with me a strange look on his face. 

“Do you not have a fork either?” I asked after a while of us just staring at each other. “If you don’t I can go to the lunchroom real quick and get one.”

“You missed dinner Roland. The cafeteria is closed. Are you really not hungry?”

“Fuck,” I sighed, making Andrew’s eyes go wide for a split second. 

“Are you hungry? It might take some time but I can go into town and get you something.”

“If you went to get food would you get me some scissors too?”

“I think it’s time to take a break from the radio for a bit. You found a good stopping place anyway. So food?”

I felt my face drop as I held the radio closer to my chest. 

“No.”

“You aren’t hungry?”

“I don’t want to stop. It’s not fair. I can fix it!”

“I’m not saying you can’t,” Andrew said gently as he leaned his arm on the desk. “I’m saying it’s late and it’s time to take a break. You have school in the morning.”

“It won’t take me long if you can get me scissors.”

“Roland that’s not the point. How do you fix the wires once you get to them?”

“You cut them and splice new ones in with solder.”

“Do you see new wires or a solder pen on this desk,” he asked, his tone still gentle and eyes soft but I still glare at the words coming out of his mouth. 

“You’ll get them for me then.” Andrew blanched at my words as his mouth dropped open.

Roland! What kind of child demands things in such a way! You should be ashamed of yourself!

My eyes drop down to the desk as my nails go to press against my skin, leaving deep impressions in their wake before I move to a different part of my body. 

My jaw clamps shut while it feels like a ball was shoved down my throat. My heart was beating out of my chest as I waited for Andrew to react. 

He always seemed like a friendly and patient person but that never lasts. Eventually, that patience runs out and usually, a new bruise or a new home was in order after it happened. It was more than clear that I wasn’t leaving this place if the choice was up to Andrew and with that in mind I felt myself brace against the chair. 

You spend too much time with those machines Roland Grace, you’re becoming one. I don’t want to catch you in here again!

My hands shake as I stood up from the chair, my legs shaking slightly as I slowly backed away from Andrew. 

“Roland take a deep breath for me. I’m not upset with you. Everything is okay.” His voice was calm as always and he didn’t move a muscle as I continued to back away but my legs didn’t stop moving. Soon enough my back hit the door and my hand hovered over the handle while the other still clutched the radio to my chest. 

“I don’t need to fix it,” I mumbled as I let the radio drop to the floor.

“It’s okay if you do. You just need to take breaks. It’s time for a break. I’ll get you more parts in a few days, you can fix it then.” I nod but I know he’s lying. I was rude and didn’t care about his words. People who do that don’t deserve to have what they want. 

I don’t wait for him to say anything else before letting the handle down and slipping through the smallest crack in the door. The second I made it through and the door had closed I ran just in case he ran after me. 

The way back to the cabin had been dark and cold but the second I stepped through the threshold and locked the door behind me my heart started to slow and the ball in my throat lessened. 

Kit lay on top of his sheets dead asleep despite the noise I had made. I try not to wake him as I sat on my bed, my knees curled to my chest and my arms wrapped around my knees. 

‘This is why I don’t let you near them,’ her voice seethed. ‘You’re worse than him. You never stop. You’ll die in that shop one day Roland and where does that leave me?’ Her voice only grew in volume as trembled against the wall. ‘What do you call a woman who lost a husband and a son?’

‘There isn’t a word for that,’ I managed to whisper but the back of her hand on my cheek made the words die in my throat.

“You stay out of that workshop do you hear me? I never want to see you in there again!’

Tears build up in my eyes as I stare down at the foot of the bed, her words playing as a loop in my head until the sun slowly peaked over the lake.