Rueln Layheart

The crystals lighting the streets were lit when I looked up from the small creek where I had been hiding the last few hours. Their soft blue glow reflected on the water, illuminating the bridge only a few dozen yards away. The stone in my hand suddenly grew heavier, mirroring my thoughts. There was no way the woman had waited at my house for this long. If I go back now, then maybe that’s it. I wouldn’t have to leave my family. 

Scowling, I drew my arm back and sent the stone skipping across the water. Why would she even want me as an apprentice, anyway? I didn’t know how to fight and even if I did, my family didn’t have the influence to offer anyone to take me on. I wasn’t stupid.

 I knew how it worked. Well-off families found masters for their children and bribed them to take them on, even if they were little brats like Pip. I’d never heard of a master finding their own and offering to pay the family anything. For what? I bit the lady’s hand. How did that qualify me for anything? She probably just wanted to take me on, so she had the liberty of beating me herself before she sent me back to my family for being a waste of time. 

I picked up another stone, twice as large as the last, and threw it out into the water. There was a soft plop as the water swallowed it whole, stealing all evidence downstream. Who knew if that woman was going to dump me in a river if I went along with her? She didn’t want me as an apprentice. How could she? I wasn’t anyone special. 

Staring down at my filthy hands, I sighed and crept down to the water’s edge to rinse my hands off. Aleah would probably be home by now. There was no reason they would wait to eat. Maybe they were all in bed already. I knew I would get a lecture for my disrespectful behavior tomorrow. Aleah would tell me there was no reason for it, and Eidke would probably call me stupid for rejecting the offer so quickly. Papa would only try to hide how disappointed he was in me.

It didn’t matter, anyway. It was too late, and I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay here in this village and help my family. I couldn’t leave it all to Aleah. She did so much already. Eidke tried to do what he could, but everyone outside our family thought of him as nothing but a useless cripple. The whole town was like that, judging him like the punishment from the gods wasn’t enough. Even the few people who came to see him because of his past life just left money out of pity.

We didn’t need their pity. 

Shaking my hands to rid them of water, I climbed up the bank of the creek. It was fairly small, but I slipped a few times on the dew-covered grass, completely negating my attempt to clean myself off. Not wanting Aleah to catch me this filthy, I self-consciously wiped my hands on my britches before I started the long walk home. If I had a guess, it was nearly midnight when my feet finally climbed up the steps and I slid the screen door open. 

“Rueln,” Aleah murmured nearby, relief in her voice. I jumped and turned to see her sitting up near the hearth, a blanket sliding down to the floor. “Papa, he’s home,” she said, turning to nudge our father awake where he had drifted off on the same cushion Eidke had helped him into before I left. Eidke must have gone to bed in the other room, because he was nowhere to be seen. 

Papa startled awake, glancing around for a moment before his eyes focused on me awkwardly standing at the door like a mouse caught in a trap. “Come here, son. I think we need to have a talk,” Papa said, showing no sign of the anger that I expected. Instead, he sounded tired, resigned even, but not upset. Frowning, I slowly slid the screen door shut and moved to take my seat next to him. As I did, Aleah went to the kitchen for a bowl of soup and brought it over, setting it in my lap before she took a seat for herself. It was cold, but that was my fault for coming home so late. 

I glanced up, first at Aleah, then at Papa, my guilt rising for my earlier behavior. The patience in my father’s eyes told me of the weight of what he wanted me to understand before he spoke. “I’m sorry, Papa,” I said, my hand resting on the spoon, though I never brought it to my mouth despite my stomach’s complaints. “I shouldn’t have yelled at the lady or left.” My eyes lowered to the bowl, staring at the mixture of our garden vegetables in the red broth. 

A warm hand clasped my shoulder and gently shook me so I would look up. Papa had leaned over to smile down at me. “You did nothing wrong, Rueln,” Papa told me. I stared at him, trying not to open my mouth and disagree with him. I knew I was very much in the wrong, but I listened anyway, trying to understand what Papa meant. “You are eight years old and, just like your sister, have been holding this family’s burden far sooner than any child should.” He glanced up and gave the same look to Aleah before he returned his gaze to me. “You should have the freedom to be a child, Rueln, and I haven’t been able to offer you that. For the burden you both have been carrying, I am sorry.”

“That’s not true!” I exclaimed, horrified he would think he’d done anything wrong. I didn’t want him to apologize for anything. It wasn’t his fault he was sick, or Eidke lost his sight, or that Mama died, or anything else. Papa had done everything he could for us, we all knew it. He had no reason to blame himself for anything. 

Papa shook his head and rested his hand over my mouth, silently asking me to let him finish when I opened my mouth again. “ I am sick and am not getting any better, son. I cannot give you anything better than what we have now. But the woman who came by tonight can. We talked for a long time after you left, and I want you to consider what she offers you.”

I jerked my head back from his hand, scowling at the idea. “But I don’t want—”

“Listen,” Aleah chided me, thumping the back of my head.

I turned my scowl on her, rubbing at the spot she hit, but did as I was told and shut my gob. 

Papa waited until I looked up at him again before he continued, the soft glow of the fireplace reflecting in his eyes. “We won’t force you to accept, son,” Papa reassured me. “But I want you to consider what she was offering you and to think about it, understand?”

I slowly nodded my head, my scowl slowly easing into just a frown. 

“If you accept, Esra will teach you her trade. She will feed, clothe, and house you while she teaches you the sword as well as how to make a living as a mercenary. It will be years of hard work, son, but it is an honest living and you would have a skilled trade. It’s far more than most children have who are not reincarnations.” As he finished, Papa reached out and ran his fingers through my mess of hair, his eyes searching my face. “It will open the door for you to have a better life, son. I won’t force you, but I want you to take this and not look back. As your family, we will receive a small stipend of your pay, so you don’t have to say no because you’re worried about us, alright? We’ll be fine.”

I looked over at Aleah, who smiled down at me and nodded. “It’s a generous offer.”

“But…” I started, looking between them, “isn’t it too late? I yelled at her and told her to leave. Why would she still want me?” 

“If you think an eight-year-old yelling would scare the lady off, you’re wrong,” Papa chuckled, poking my nose with the tip of his finger. “She asked that we speak with you and she will have your answer tomorrow morning.”

“Why would she want me?” I asked again, pressing my question as I stared up at Papa. “She could have offered this to anyone, to Pip even. Why ask me?”

“Ask her yourself if you’re curious,” Papa urged, and at a motion from him, Aleah rose to help him up. “You have until tomorrow,” he reminded me, struggling to breathe for a moment. “Goodnight, Rueln. Goodnight, Aleah. You should both eat and get to bed before it gets much later.” With that, Papa shuffled into the back room towards his bed, leaving me and Aleah alone. 

Only when he was gone did I remember my food still in my lap. Filling the spoon to the brim, I shoveled in a few bites, while Aleah rose to her feet and went to the kitchen to fill a second bowl.

The clinking of our spoons and bowls filled the silence for several minutes before my sister spoke. “He wants what’s best for you, you know?”

“I know,” I murmured, setting down the half-eaten stew. I wasn’t all that hungry anymore. Glancing up, I watched my sister eat, her deep brown hair braided and curled around her shoulders. She was fifteen now, but to me she always felt much older, and I still couldn’t see anyone else as my mother. It felt kind of wrong to put that burden on her shoulders, but Aleah never seemed to mind.

 Sliding my bowl out of my way, I scooted over and curled up beside her with my head resting on her lap. Immediately, she set her food down and ran her fingers gently through my hair until I closed my eyes. 

“You will think about it?” she asked. 

“Yeah…” I promised, somewhat reluctantly. After a moment, with sleep threatening to draw me under, I shifted and looked up at her. “What will happen to you if I go?”

Aleah pursed her lips, then shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll miss you. We all will, but if you send us letters, we’ll know you're safe.”

“That’s not what I mean,” I huffed, knowing she didn’t answer my question on purpose. 

“I know, but I’m not going to answer. Like Papa said, this is your decision. We will be alright. I promise. Just this once,” Aleah leaned forward and poked my cheek, “think about you. What do you want? Do you want to live here forever? Do you want your children to live here? You need to think about your own future. Where do you want to go with it? What adventure will you carve into fate?”

As she spoke, I could almost see the golden lines of an unknown destiny weave through the space above our heads, lighting up the room. She was right. I had never thought about it before. There was always this pressure from everyone to bring up the deeds of a past life, the memories of history. How many people thought of carving their own mark into that history? What future did I want?

For the first time, I seriously thought about it. Long after Aleah had put away the food and washed the remaining dishes, I stayed awake. Even laying next to Eidke’s warm body and listening to my older brother’s deep, even breaths, I couldn't find it in me to sleep. My mind was too full of adventures I would have, and the people I would meet in the years to come. It was only after the light of morning lay a trail across the floor and Eidke stirred awake that I realized I had already decided. I would accept the apprenticeship. Under one condition.