I was still groaning when we mounted Peach again and Master urged the horse on. We didn't stop until sunset and I could see no sign of civilization beyond the road we followed. It shocked me that wild beasts or a group of men in loincloths hadn’t attacked us trying to rob us of our coppers. The day had been rather peaceful beyond my Master's teasing, the moody horse, and filling the silence with talk. 

After we dismounted for the last time, Master Esra took time to show me how to care for Peach, unsaddling her, and rubbing her down before picketing her nearby. The whole time, I wasn't sure how much I actually learned after the horse snapped her teeth at me when I did something she didn't like. Master Esra made a tsking sound with her tongue and pushed the mare's nose away to get her to stop, but I saw the way the horse was eyeing me. 

Yeah, well, I don't like you either, I thought, glaring at her as I finished.

"Is she always like that?" I asked when I was at a safe enough distance.  

Master Esra was digging through the packs for our dinner. "Huh?" she asked, looking up and then following my gaze toward the horse. "Oh, yeah, pretty much. She has a temper, but I wouldn't trade her for anything."

"After meeting her, I don't think I want one," I admitted, sitting down by the fire and offering my hands to the flames. Slowly, my fingers lost the chill of the evening and warmed. 

Master Esra smiled, then pulled out a package of dried jerky, handing me a piece. I looked it over, trying to figure out how something this dry could be edible before taking a bite. "Don't judge every horse by the standard that Peach sets. They aren't all like that. Horses have as much personality as we do. You just have to get to know them and meet one that is compatible. Of course, not everyone tries to bond with their horse, but I think it's important. It builds trust." 

"I don't understand why it's important," I said, glancing between my master and the horse in the fading daylight.

She reached down and withdrew a knife from the holster at her side and showed it to me. I leaned over and watched the firelight reflect on the blade as she turned it one way and then the other. "Our lives are on the line all the time in our line of work. You need to trust people to have your back the same way they trust you to have theirs. Teamwork is important even when you might be a complete stranger. You need to trust your horse to carry you no matter what and they need to trust you to get them out of danger alive. It's a bond. Out here, Peach is my family, just as you are now."

I turned to face the fire again, watching sparks fly up into the sky and fade. The silence between us lengthened, Master Esra not finding any need to fill it. Why would she? She had been out here alone for years. She was probably used to it.

"Master Esra?" I said hesitantly, uncertain if the question on my tongue was appropriate.  

"Hmm?" she asked, her mouth full.

"Do you have a family?"

Master Esra stopped chewing for a moment. When she started again, it was slower, stalling for time as she thought about her answer. I waited until she had swallowed her food and lowered her hand with her next bite down to her lap. Maybe she didn’t want to talk about it.

 "I did," she admitted, her voice distant, lost in some memory I couldn't see. "I had a husband." Her deep green eyes shifted to look at me again, smiling with gentle affection. "I also had a little boy, a little older than you.”

I leaned forward, excited. “Will I get to meet them?”

She shook her head. That gentle look didn’t waver in her eyes. It just grew somber. “No. I’m afraid not. They were killed five years ago."

Stunned, all excitement drained away along with the color in my face. “Oh…” Hesitating for a moment, I asked, “How did it happen?”

Master Esra looked away, lifting her eyes up to study the sky as the first stars appeared. “Maybe I’ll tell you another time,” she murmured softly. Taking the hint, I let the subject drop. Shortly after, Master Esra rose to check on Peach once more before she returned with a rolled-up blanket and offered it to me. “It’s going to be an early morning tomorrow, so why don’t you get some sleep? I’m sure you’re tired.”

Oh, was I. Everything hurt, and there was no getting comfortable. Everything from my bum to my back and legs was sore from the ride, but I took the blanket and tried to get some sleep. It wasn’t long before I realized that, as tired as I was. It was going to be a long night. Master rested on the opposite side of the fire, leaning her back against the saddle and using a shawl as a temporary blanket, since she’d given me the only one she had. It was nice of her, but despite my best effort, I couldn’t fall asleep. 

Curling up for warmth, my back to the fire, I stared out into the dark. Knowing I was far from home didn’t seem to matter as I strained my ears for any familiar sounds. The crackling fire was familiar enough, but the rhythm of Master’s breathing didn’t match what I knew. Eidke snored, and there was no press of a warm body sharing my blanket, no feet kicking my legs as they shifted in their sleep. Papa’s coughs were gone, disrupting what brief silence we had in our house, and I couldn’t hear Aleah’s quiet murmur as she talked in her sleep. It was all gone. 

I had never felt more alone. 

 They were probably sitting down by the fire, Aleah just coming home from work to help with dinner. Did they even miss me? My eyes burned as I thought about them, and how much I longed to go back home. I had never been this far from them before. It was the first time I even went a night without my family nearby. Whatever grand adventure I imagined, this weight on my heart hadn’t been in it. 

I sniffed, and then quickly wiped my nose, afraid Master Esra would hear me. It wasn't until I sniffed again that I heard her move. I stiffened, turning just enough to see her walk behind me, half of her face illuminated by the soft firelight. Before she could speak, I pulled the blanket over my head and hid so she couldn’t see me wipe at my face. 

“You miss them, huh?” Master Esra asked, lowering herself to my side. I didn’t think she was going to talk. I didn’t answer aloud, but I nodded my head, not sure if she could see it under the blanket. “It’s always hard at first, being away from your family. I didn’t like it either when I started training under my master,” Master Esra admitted, pausing a moment before she added, “of course, I was a little younger than you when I started my training.”

That can’t be true, I thought before I slowly rolled over and pulled the blanket down just enough so I could see her. “How could you start your training younger than me? You would have been a little kid.”

Master Esra lifted her hand to hide her mouth, but I saw her smile. She thinks I’m a little kid now, but I’m not. Clearing her throat, she straightened. “My father wanted me to be a merchant like him, so he sent me to train with a friend of his just after my recall test. I stayed with him and his wife until I was ten, miserable with the work and missing my family until I ran off with my uncle when he came for a visit. My uncle trained me with the sword and taught me about the mercenary craft.”

“What about your Papa? What did he think about you leaving?”

“Oh, he was angry with me,” she admitted freely, plucking up a few pieces of grass and fiddling with it in her hands. “But he forgave me. I still visited him whenever I could, using the portals. It was much easier getting away from my uncle for a day or two than my father’s controlling friend.”

I sat up as the idea struck me. “You can use the portals to visit your family?”

Master Esra tilted her head at me and smiled. “I told you before that you could visit them. What? Did you not believe me?”

“When?” I asked, wondering if it would be years before I could see them. 

“When we get settled in Threa. That’s where I live. It’ll take maybe a month to get there as we are, but once we’re settled, you’re free to visit your family on rest days.” She lifted a finger, making sure she had my attention. “But I want you back each night. You visit for the day, then return before the portals are closed. That is my rule.”

“Okay,” I agreed readily. Master Esra waited, her brow raising when I answered. It took me a second longer before I realized my mistake and I smiled. "Yes, Master."

"Very well," she said, reaching up to press me back down into my pallet. "Rest now. It's getting late. We can talk more in the morning, and if you have any worries, address them. I don't mind listening."

"Goodnight, Master."

"Goodnight, Rueln," she murmured, reaching out to lay her hand on the top of my head before withdrawing back to the saddle where she had been resting before. I watched her go, then rolled over and closed my eyes. It still took a while to settle my mind, but I eventually drifted into sleep, reassured that there was a goal ahead now and that I would soon see my family again.