Our first few stops were uneventful.  The neighboring townships were accustomed to having nobility visit and were able to accommodate the Beloved and an ambassador on short notice with no difficulties.  Towns were spaced according to what people could reasonably travel in a couple days, so the ones just outside the city were a natural stopping point for nobles traveling to the capital.  We’d arrive in the evening, secure lodging, and then the next morning I’d go pay a visit to the local temple.  I didn’t have any trouble communicating the gravity of the situation to any of the gods.  The danger of a potential god slayer was obvious.

Gristile, on the other hand, was turning into a real problem.  He was delightful company and I truly enjoyed having him along to pass the time with.  However, good conversation wasn’t necessarily useful conversation and he hadn’t said anything revealing yet.  I was starting to suspect that if his nation was behind the dead god, then he wasn’t aware.

That was a good way to get an ambassador killed.  If we found evidence that they were responsible and war was declared, Queen Misht wouldn’t let him leave the capital.  She might even execute him as retaliation.  I felt she was capable of that.  If his nation was doing something so risky, then he needed to know so he’d have an escape prepared.

Or perhaps they didn’t care if he died.  He was, after all, their disgraced prodigy.  A mage that had turned his back on magic and now living in semi-exile.

That could also be the mask he wanted me to see, much as I had shown the world what a good, loyal daughter I was.  It was impossible to know for certain right now and a small part of me couldn’t wait to find out what theory was correct.

In the meantime, we talked about our childhoods and commiserated on how badly our plans for our lives had been upended.  Gristile hadn’t even gotten to make plans.  He was too young for that when the academy had snatched him up and after that he had to carry the weight of everyone else’s dreams.  I did feel sorry for him.  I had no doubt he wasn’t lying about this, as it was too easy to confirm when we returned home.  So we bonded over our similar misfortunes and I started to think he wasn’t going to give me anything I could report to Queen Misht about, when he finally said something of interest.

“I’m actually going home soon,” he sighed.  “It’s been years since I saw my family so they’ve petitioned the council to send a replacement to your court for the winter.”

“They petitioned,” I said.

He nodded morosely.

“I can’t really refuse an order from our council, can I?”

He spread his hands helplessly.  I quietly tucked that little bit of information away for later.  He hadn’t informed Queen Misht of this yet.  Her spies might already know, but if they didn’t, this might be the clue we needed as to Niea’s timing.  If they were planning a war, then they’d launch it after Gristile left.  I supposed they weren’t going to leave him to die after all.

“My family wants me to come home for our next holiday,” I grumbled.  “Maybe I can come with you instead.”

He laughed, not noticing my scheming, and I began to have a faint sliver of hope that this trip wouldn’t be wasted after all.

“Can I ask about your title?” he asked.

“The Gods’ Beloved?  Of course.”

I was a little surprised.  It didn’t seem like an interesting topic of conversation, but then again, he was from another kingdom.  They probably didn’t know much about the intricacies of our relationship with the gods.  The other kingdoms tended to focus on the borderline human sacrifice part and not much else.  It amounted to little more than propaganda, really.

“We’ve visited a few gods now and they’ve seemed to monopolize your time,” he said.  “Are they that difficult to deal with?  Is your title more of a jest?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Quite the opposite,” I said, shaking my head.  “I spend so much time at the temple because they just about won’t let me leave.”

When I was first initiated, I naively thought it was because they weren’t able to talk to anyone else.  But I eventually realized that they didn’t actually care about what I talked about.  The conversation wasn’t important.  I could sit there in silence for hours and they’d still be content to have me around.  It wasn’t that my presence alleviated their loneliness, either.  The gods just… wanted me to be present.  They were aware of everyone in their territory, but it was a more abstract concept, much like how mortals know there are birds but don’t actively take note of their existence unless they chose to.

I wasn’t sure how I fit into that metaphor.  

“Then is the name more literal?” Gristele asked.  “Do they love you?”

I considered for a moment.

“I wouldn't use that word,” I said thoughtfully.  “Gods don’t really love anymore.  It’s not that they don’t have emotions - that’s a common mistake - it’s that the things that are important to them are vastly different now.  A god might not know that wildfire has destroyed half of a kingdom, but they might be keeping track of how many grains of wheat are currently growing in their territory.”

“So then, how would you describe how they regard you?”

It was something I’d pondered before.  Love wasn’t the right word.  They were possessive, but that seemed to me to be more of a symptom than what they were actually feeling towards me.

“You’re familiar with lodestones, yes?  It’s like that.  I’m not a god, but I’m something adjacent to them.  They’re drawn to me, just as metal will cling to a lodestone.”

“The God’s Lodestone doesn’t sound as impressive as The God’s Beloved.”

“No, it doesn’t,” I laughed.  

Then a thought sobered me.  We were visiting a town I’d been through a few times now and the god knew me already.

“You should be careful,” I said.  “The gods can be unpredictable.”

I wasn’t quite certain where my unease came from, but when it came to the gods, I’d learned it was best to trust my instincts.