Levi’ POV:

As soon as I close the door to my apartment, I sink to the floor and hold my knees to my chest. Despite it still being quite early in the day, my apartment is dark. Between the clutter and the dark curtains, there is very little light flowing into my apartment, and it makes me feel sick. 

I have so much to think about and take in. I’ve been through quite a bit in my life, and to be honest, them being demons is not as terrifying or shocking as it probably should be. They proved it to be very true and I don’t know why I’m not more afraid, but it’s too much to think about right now. 

The big issue for me is the fact that they’re saying I’m their soulmate. Yes, I find them both attractive, but being with a man, two for that matter, makes anxiety pool in my gut. I’m not sure why I agreed to a date with the two; they could do whatever they want to me and I’d be powerless. 

Despite Greyson driving me home and letting me go without following me or digging for my address, I still don’t trust them. I don’t trust easily, and two demons telling me they’re meant to be with me for my life is not the most comforting thing. Maybe for someone who wants to be in a relationship, but I’m still unsure. 

When I was sitting in Lexi’s room, after he gave me a new pair of pants, I asked if I could look through his photo album. He felt so guilty for scaring me, despite me saying that it wasn’t his fault that I’m so jumpy. I regret having looked at that album because it made me want to stay at that damn mansion. 

Even though they’re demons, the group at that mansion seems so loving and they seem like a real family. After my parents died, I didn’t try to find a family. I figured, being an older kid in the foster care system, if a family wanted me, I’d make it work. When my foster father treated me like his son and then completely destroyed my trust when he assaulted me, I decided family life just wasn’t for me. 

I’m jealous of Elijah and Greyson; I wish I wasn’t so messed up so I could take a risk and trust them. The family they have, the pictures in that album showing how happy they are… It made me so jealous and upset. I want that. I want a family who loves me and where everyone gets along and loves each other even if they fight sometimes. 

I think that’s why I said yes to the date; seeing how they treat each other as a family, maybe a part of me wants to take a risk. Maybe Greyson was telling the truth and he and Elijah really do want to help me. 

Maybe they won’t give up on me when they realize how much is wrong with me. 

I need to do laundry if I’m going on this date. Even though I’m unsure about this whole situation, I don’t want to wear greasy clothes. Plus, I work tomorrow morning so I should wear clean clothes anyway. I keep checking my phone, wondering if Greyson is going to text me. I shouldn’t want this kind of attention, from a literal demon much less, but everything feels so jumbled and fuzzy right now. 

Maybe I should text Elijah and tell him that I’m sorry for being so on edge today. I can tell he wants to impress me and I think he’s still pretty hurt that I accused him of trying to take advantage of me. Now that I know he felt a weird soulmate connection to me, I can see why he was so protective. He still should have controlled himself a bit though. 

Elijah’s sad expression pops back into my head and I sigh and click on his contact. 

Me: Hi, this is Levi. I just wanted to apologize for being so cold toward you this morning. 

There, now I don’t look mean and he has no reason to use his scary demon powers on me. Not that I really know what those are besides the fangs and the wings, but I do not want to press and find out. They may have promised me no harm, but they’re still demons. Well, and men. 

The response from Elijah comes about thirty minutes later. 

Elijah: it’s okay!!! i am so so so so so so sorry for overstepping and scaring you and all of that!!! i hope you’ll give me the chance to prove that i’m not some psychopath who doesn’t understand boundaries :)

Me: Well, you’ll have the chance to prove it on the date tomorrow. 

Elijah: IM SO EXCITED THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR SAYING YES :D

I feel a smile pull at my lips. I can’t help it; he’s honestly pretty cute even though he scared the hell out of me yesterday. I’ll keep a straight face on the date, but I can smile to myself in the privacy of my own home. I don’t respond to Elijah’s last message and gather a basket of laundry. 

My apartment complex has a room for doing laundry, but thankfully it’s usually not too crowded at this time in the morning because people are going to work. I’m satisfied with my selection of clothes for both work and the date, and I feel even more relieved when I’m able to enter the laundry room and see that it’s empty. 

I put my clothes in the washer and start the machine when I see a text message from Greyson.

Greyson: I realized that I never asked what kind of cuisine you prefer! Did you have a cuisine you hate or any dietary restrictions?

Me: I don’t have any preference

Greyson: Okay, I’ll talk with Elijah and text you the name of where we’re going later today! 

I set a timer on my phone for my clothes and carry my laundry basket back to my room. Since I don’t make a lot of money, most of the time I just buy bread or other filling foods so going out to restaurants is really out of the ordinary for me. 

When I took Maggie out for dinner, we always went to cheaper restaurants or places where we order and then sit with a number and wait. It makes me feel worse; I really was not the best boyfriend, even though I had a decent savings. I could have splurged a bit more. 

I feel a bit rejuvenated, though, because I feel like this could be a new chapter. Everything is moving so quickly with this new situation, and I’m nervous but a part of me also feels like this could be a good thing. Maybe it’ll be a good thing; maybe demons aren’t bad. 

The truth is, if they really wanted to hurt me or didn’t want me to leave, there is nothing that I’d be able to do to stop them. Hell, Elijah was able to put a mark on me and told me only supernaturals could see it. Surely they have a way to track me as well, if they really wanted to. 

My timer goes off on my phone and I move my laundry to the dryer. I’m still wearing the sweats that Lexi let me borrow, so I’ll have to see them again anyways to give the pants back. I’ll bring them back tomorrow just in case everything goes completely wrong and I never want to see those demons again. 

If things go wrong, though, I can’t be sure that they won’t just kidnap me. I mean, I hope they won’t, but I am not going to get my hopes high that they’re just the perfect match without knowing them. They haven’t hurt me yet, but neither did my foster father at first. He told me he loved me and then assaulted me and made me feel like I had no place to go until I finally saved enough to pay rent and ran away. 

I never reported it or tried to get him arrested. I just didn’t want to risk pissing him off or seeing him again. If he made me feel worthless and like a toy to use before, I knew it would be nothing compared to what he’d do to me if I tried to get him into trouble. 

My hands are a bit shaky as I try to think about something else, something that doesn’t include cutting myself. I don’t think Greyson or Elijah have seen the marks, and I have a decent pain tolerance, but I don’t want to draw attention to my issues if I wince during the date. The only other thing I can think about is drinking, but my head still hurts from yesterday and I need to work tomorrow. 

I could try to declutter my apartment, but the idea of that just overwhelms me. Plus, my manager thinks I’m sick so maybe I should just take a nap. My second timer goes off for my dry clothes after I’ve opened the fridge and stared at it, realizing most of the food in there has gone bad by now. It smells nasty in the fridge, but I just stared instead of trying to clean it. 

I actually fold my clothes this time; I don’t want them wrinkly for the date tomorrow. Even if I’m unsure, I still want to look nice. It’s nice to be called beautiful or be seen as attractive even if they only want me because of the weird soulmate bond. Greyson may have insisted otherwise, but how trustworthy can a demon be?

Anxiety has been pooling in my gut all afternoon; I feel so nauseous. I keep thinking about my damn foster father. Abuser. Rapist. Whatever it is, I keep thinking about him and I have no way to cope. I want to do something, go somewhere, get out of this headspace, but I can’t think of anything. 

I grab my phone, nervously scrolling through the few contacts I have. I stare at the contact for a second, but when another wave of anxiety slams through me, making me shake, I press the button. 

Greyson answers after one ring. “Hello?” he asks, sounding caught between confusion and excitement. 

I let out a shaky breath; my throat feels so tight right now. 

“Levi?” Greyson asks. 

“Mhm,” I manage to get out, breathing heavily as I try to keep myself from completely breaking down, but I’m getting closer. “Panic attack.”

“You’re having a panic attack?”

I let out a dry sob; it’s more like a gross groan. 

“Okay, it’s okay. Levi, can you give me your address? I can come get you.”

I whimper and take my phone away from my ear; maybe my chaotic and anxious mindset is dumb and reactive because I text him the address. 

“Good,” Greyson says gently. “Levi, I’ll stay on the phone the whole time, can you talk to me?”

I whine again. “C-Can’t move,” I gasp.

It feels like the entirety of earth’s gravity is crashing down on me and I feel like I’m paralyzed. My head is pounding and I need something to pull the pain from my head. 

“It’s okay, I’ll be there soon,” Greyson coos. 

“I need a blade,” I choke out. “My head hurts.”

Greyson breathes in sharply. “No, you don’t. I’ll be there soon, please don’t hurt yourself, Levi,” he begs, sounding completely desperate. 

“Elijah?” I ask, wanting to speak to him as well. “Where is he?”

“He’s shopping with Lexi, but he’ll come home if I call him after I get you.”

I sniffle. “You’re close?”

“Yes,” Greyson assures me, beginning to point out landmarks to show me how close he is to my place. He encourages me to drag myself to the door and unlock it, which I do slowly. 

Thankfully, I hear the door open and Greyson kneels in front of me, cupping my chin. He looks relieved as he checks my arms, and I ignore the fact that he probably knows now what I wanted to hide. Even if they’re ugly, he must be happy that there’s not fresh marks from today. 

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” Greyson asks, and I nod numbly. 

He carries me further into my apartment, setting me down on my bed. 

“Are you leaving?” I ask shakily. 

“No, I told you that I’d take you with me,” Greyson assures me, picking my clean clothes from the ones I have just folded. “I’m packing you a bag. You can’t be here alone, Levi. I’m worried for you.”

I don’t respond, I just let Greyson take out my old backpack and pack it full of clothes for me. I don’t comment on the fact that he has definitely packed more than one night’s worth of clothes. I’m still not entirely sure why I called him; it was likely the stupid needy part of my brain that thinks attention and validation make me worth something. 

“I feel sick,” I whisper, and Greyson must see the expression on my face because he grabs my garbage can and I expel stomach acid and bile into the can because I haven’t had anything besides coffee and a bite of pop tart. “I don’t know why I called you. I’m sorry.”

Greyson takes the garbage can away from me and kneels in front of me. “I told you to call me if you need anything. I’m glad you did, Alastor knows Elijah and I want you around all of the time.”

“Alastor?”

“Master Alastor is the lord of Hell, and we demons praise him as our form of a higher power.” 

“Oh.” 

Greyson picks me up once again, my backpack on his back. He carries me to the bathroom and waits for me to brush my teeth and packs my toothbrush in its case. I don’t miss his wince when he sees there are loose blades in the bathroom. If I was in a slightly more aware mindset, I would have tried to hide them, but I’m not focused. 

As we’re leaving, Greyson grabs my house key and locks my door. He still has my backpack and offers to carry me, but I turn him down and follow him silently to the car. As soon as we’re in the car, he makes a call and tells me that we’re going to meet Elijah at the mansion. 

Greyson holds his hand out to me and I curse my neediness and desperation as I take it and stare out the window.