My favorite part of the school day was riding the bus. Watching the trees go by, I listened to my favorite music. Little did everyone know, I was a secret emo and listened to bands like A Perfect Circle, Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance. During the thirty-minute trip to school, I sat near the front where kids wouldn’t bother me, and thought up stories that I’d write later on the computer. The spot next to me, infected with my nerdy germs, always lay empty due to the fact that sitting next to me was considered a mortal sin. 

Someone tried once and got made fun of for the rest of the year. 

We always spent the first good hour of school in the cafeteria. In my sitting spot in front of the library on the floor, I waited for Alyxi to show up. When she saw me, she waved and plopped down next to me.

"Hey, cutie. What are you reading?" she asked. 

"Uhh... it's called 'I am innocent'. It's about a girl trying to lose her virginity" I said. 

"Oh, is it about me?" 

"Right?" I close the book and look around.

 No cute guys again this year. Even the “hot” ones aren't my type. Except for Jacob Turner. With loose jeans, converse shoes, a long t-shirt, and a hoodie he was a total bad boy but hung out with the "normies" crowd. You know, the men that were consumed with toxic masculinity and making fart jokes. However, his girlish symmetrical face, high cheekbones, and long blonde hair did something to my body. Too bad he's an abusive relationship waiting to happen, so I distract myself from ever being tempted by his beauty. 

Jacob stumbled beside me, looked at me, and said, "Hey, fat ass, get your legs out of the hallway."

 I withdrew. Yup. Abusive relationship. I imagine a world where it would work out between us, but then I remind myself I can't be like one of "those" girls -- you know the type that fixed their boyfriends. 

"Your face is a fat ass!" Alyxi screamed at Jacob ruining my chances.

Giving a perplexed expression, I don’t think Jacob thought she was going to say anything back. Distracting himself with his goal to walk with his friend, he turned his head and moved on. I crossed my arms obsessing about his words. 

“Whatever. Don’t listen to him. You’re a beautiful specimen,” Alyxi said.

My eyes locked on another man walking into view, and all my thoughts on Jacob disappeared. I’d never seen him before. The guy was good-looking on a weird level with brown undercut hair and glasses. He looked like an incredibly hot nerd, but above all, somewhat familiar. I didn’t know hot nerds existed. 

“Did you see that guy?” I nudged Alyxi.

“What?”

“The hottest nerd man that just walked by.”

"Yeah? What was he like?" 

"He's right over there" I point at his backside. His face is turned away from us. 

"Alright ladies, let's go over to him and ask for an introduction" Alyxi suggested. 

She tried to stand, but I grabbed her arm and forced her to stop. 

"You can't just walk up to him. Are you crazy?" 

"Why not? He's hot, and we both want to talk to him." 

Alyxi got up and started strolling over. I hid behind her, scared for my life. I couldn’t believe she was doing this. The boy and I made eye contact, and he gave me a warm smile. 

"Hi," he said. 

"Hey," Alyxi and I said. 

"Are you new?" I asked. 

"Yeah, I just moved here." 

"Oh, really?" Alyxi said. "We should be friends" 

"Yeah, we're just hanging out over there if you want," I said, gesturing toward the library. 

The nerd points his fingers at me from under his backpack straps. 

"You look familiar. Have we met before?" 

I blushed, and mumbled something along the lines of "I don't think so." I cleared my throat. "But, I thought the same thing about you. Weird, right? Maybe we met in a different life?" 

He looked at me confused. "Different life? Like past life? Astral projection?" 

"Uh, yeah. Astral projection. I read a book about that once" I said.

Suddenly, the infamous bell rang. I turned to Alyxi. "What class are you going to?" 

"Uhm, Algebra. Why?" 

"I'm in Biology." I frown. 

"Me too," the hot nerd said. 

"What room?" 

"16C. Mrs. Jefferson." 

"Me too," I said. I wanted to offer to walk with him, but my words got caught up in my throat. My armpits started to sweat. Walking with him felt romantic, and it made my brain want to explode. 

"You should walk together!" Alyxi blurted. 

"O-oh, yeah we should," I said. I ran my hand over my long brown hair. I didn't even comb it today. God, why did I wear this shirt? It had one of my favorite zombie video games printed on it. Without another word, the hot nerd started walking ahead. I walked beside him, my face heating up. This poor guy. If anyone saw him with me, he'd be made fun of, too. The silence between us grew long, and I tried and think of what to say. "What is, uh, what is your name? My name is Amber" 

"Andrew," he said. 

"Oh, cool," The silence thickened and I panicked to keep the conversation going. There's got to be something to say. Anything. 

"What do you like?" I asked. 

"I like comics and reading." 

"Comics? I like comics. What's your favorite?" 

"I like X-Men. I think I could be an X-Man someday." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah. Do you like Michael C. Moore movies?"

 I shook my head. "No. I mean-- I've seen one of his movies, but I don't remember what it's called. It was good." 

"It was probably Sicko. And yes, it was good." 

"Oh yeah, that was it. It was really fucked up" I said as we approached the class. 

Both of us walked in. I sat near the back because the front gave me too much attention. However, I didn't sit so far back that the delinquents would snatch me. Andrew sat next to me, draping his backpack on his seat. 

"Do you have any siblings?" I asked Andrew. 

"Three brothers." 

"Do you  like them?" 

"Hell no." 

"I have a big brother," I said. 

As I spoke to him, I felt eyes on the back of my head. It felt like everyone stared, and I prepared myself for someone to comment. They always did. To my horror, Jacob walked in with a couple of his girlfriends. They made it to the back of the room and sat directly behind me. Jacob saw me talking to Andrew, and he turned to his friends. 

"Check it out, the new guy likes Amber," one of his friends said.

 They all laughed. My hands started to go numb. I immediately stopped talking. Nothing was a bigger insult than dating me. The bell rang, and we all sat down for class. I looked over at Andrew, and he looked back at me. He winked. I knew that wink was a bad omen. Now, he's making fun of me, too. Picking the skin around my fingers, I just wanted to die.

The class went by slowly. I wanted the bell to ring again, so I could get out of there. When class ended, I took my time grabbing my backpack, just in case Andrew said something. Embarrassment kept me from confronting him about his actions.

 "Hey, I am going to the arcade after school. I am meeting someone there. Want to come?" He asked. 

I smiled and looked over at Jacob. Was Andrew still trying to mess with me or did he really want to hang out? Jacob stared at me.

 "Which arcade?" 

"The one on Main." 

My mouth fell open. The one on Main? That's the one I am going to meet Sin. Someone slapped Andrew on the back. Startled, Andrew turned around and meets the face of Daniel, a black boy with a short afro and shaved sides, the most popular boy in school. He held his hand out to Andrew enthusiastically. 

"Hello, you're the new guy, right?" Daniel said. He pointed to himself. "My name is Daniel." 

Something hits Daniel's face. Jacob flicked a sheet of paper from across the room. Grabbing the sheet of paper, Daniel threw it at Jacob maybe three times harder. It rockets through the air and hits his foot -- obviously trying to miss Jacob's head. They both laugh. 

"Have you met Jacob yet?" Daniel said, grabbing Jacob and hugging him by the shoulder. Jacob pushes him away with a shove. 

"Hi, my name is Jessica," Jacob's girlfriend said, running her long nails through her dyed hair. She shook Andrew's hand. "You have soft hands." 

Well, I guess this was it for my interaction. Time to leave. 

"Bye, Andrew," I said, waving at him. 

"What's your number?" He asked. My eyes went to the group which was mixed with confusion. Their disgusted eyes locked on with mine and then darted to their neighbor. 

"I'll write it down," I said and grabbed my backpack, rummaging through it until I found a notepad and pen. Tearing off a piece of paper, I wrote my number down, my hand shaking so hard it was visible. Giving it to him, I tried to stay as still as possible. Our hands lightly touched each other, which I remembered for the rest of my life. 

"Thanks," Andrew said and smiled. 

"Okay, bye," I said beaming, and then shuffled away through the cracks between the desks. The distance to the door felt like miles, but I managed to get there and run out. 

Luckily, Alyxi and I had the same cafeteria time. We met outside at the same spot we sit every year on the red grated tables. My parents and I were too lazy to make lunch, so I had a plate of lukewarm food from the cafeteria. Alyxi had a hotdog and a drink. 

"So, how was your first day?" she asked. 

"Andrew wants to hang out after school. Do you want to come?" I asked.

"Do you think I am going to hang out with you and your new boyfriend?" 

"We're not dating," I said. "We just talked." 

Poking holes in my burger with my thumb, I thought hard. 

I said, "He wants to meet at the same place Sin does. Do you think they're the same person?" 

"Sure," she said. "Why not." 

"No, that can't be possible. He's probably not going to even text me." I looked at my phone. 

He did. Almost choking, this seemed a little too good to be true. 

"Oh my god! You're AngelRinoa aren't you? I thought you looked familiar,” it said. 

My vision goes white. 

"Who is this..?" 

"This is Andrew. The guy you just met?" 

"Oh, how do you know my screenname?" 

"I know a lot about you." 

"Like what?" 

"Like we planned to hook up at the arcade today." 

Mortified, I didn't know how to respond. 

"So, you're Sin?" 

"Yeah." 

Placing my phone down, my brain shut down. This was too much. Way too much. My face went white. 

"Are you okay?" Alyxi asked. I don't respond. "Breathe. Breathe, Amber. What did he say?" 

"He is Sin, and he thought we were hooking up tonight." 

I can't believe this was happening. What if this got back to my parents? What if they find out? 

"You're going to have to be more careful,” she said. "You said he planned on hooking up with you today." 

I start typing to Andrew. "I don't want to hook up with you tonight, sorry."

"Why not? You seemed interested." 

"Sorry. I don't think we should talk anymore." I turn my phone off. 

Better safe than sorry. Men only wanted one thing and that's sex. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea and felt stupid for giving him my number. Wrapping my head in my arms, I slammed my face on the table. Why can't guys just be nice? 

"Why not hook up with him? It'd be fun" Alyxi said. 

"I don't want to. I just wanted to hang out. Why are people like this?" 

"You should be happy he wants to sleep with you" I shake my head. 

Of course, Alyxi didn't understand. Why would she? 

"Well, fuck him. He's an asshole." Alyxi said to make me feel better. 

Silent, I didn't know how I'd manage the rest of the day. I couldn't even play The Minis because it'd remind me of him. This was easily the worst day of my life. When I got home that night all I did was cry in my bed. He texted me, but I deleted it the moment I saw it. I also refused to go on the Mini forum.