Like every day, after hearing the alarm clock, I wake up reluctantly; I don't want to go to work. I'm exhausted of being targeted just because I'm a girl. I don't feel like going there anymore, but I know I won't be able to find another job. And you wanna know why?! Because in this shitty world, women are not considered people and many men look down on them. I'm fortunate, you know?! I'm in one of these companies where those in power respect neither recruits nor women. 

I sigh wearily and place the pen on the paper; my eyes have become shiny. I take a deep breath and try to control my emotions and then resume writing my thoughts in my diary.

This is one of the reasons why I don't want to be a girl anymore!

My name is Sarah Aether Markison and everyone calls me Sarah, although I prefer Aether. I have two names because my parents were indecisive about which one was best for me, so they thought they'd assign me both. My folks always supported me and, when I told them I was bisexual, they smiled at me warmly. I love them a lot for this and much more. I'm 28 years old and I work in an advertising agency. As I specified before, I don't like it at all; however, I will continue to work there...

I rest my left hand for a moment and stretch my aching back. "It's really stressful to always sit in a chair!" I look out the window for a moment, admiring the sunset and, when it is no longer before my eyes, I return to writing.

I create complexes about my physical appearance: I'm quite tall and with curves in the right place. My hair is wavy, soft, and pitch black. My eyes are heterochromatic: the right is blue, while the left is amber.

After getting ready, I left the house and headed to the company. I spent the morning doing the usual things, such as rewriting and programming. 

During my lunch break, I went to a restaurant with my colleagues (there are only eight women) and with friends who don't mistreat us. After the meal, we returned to work and, in the late afternoon, I was lectured by my superior as usual. I tell you that I didn't listen to his speech, not because I didn't want to, but because I already knew that he would tell me the usual things. For example: "you should work better" or he compares me to a colleague.

Anyway... Today, I'm very pissed off because someone with less self-esteem than I copied my project and appropriated it. If I think about it, I get nervous again. 

I close my eyes for a moment, let them rest and, at that exact moment, I feel my belly grumbling. I look at the time: it's 6.30 p.m., so I think I'll write the last sentence and then start preparing to go out.

Now, I should go to dinner! Thank you very much, my dear friend, for 'listening' to me again this evening.

I'll be back to write to you tomorrow.

With these last words, I close my secret diary and prepare. "This evening I would like to eat sushi!" I think as I put on my lip gloss. "Today, it was a bit strange to describe myself; I never did it! Never mind! Anyway, nobody will read what I wrote" I keep thinking. 

I leave the house with a smile on my face, reflecting on which sushi restaurant would be best to choose.

To go to the centre, I find myself travelling along a two-lane road and, to reach it, I have to traverse the crosswalk. There's a traffic light, I stop for a moment, it's red and I wait for it to change colour. The moment I start taking my first steps to reach the other side of the road, a high-speed car comes at me. I think the driver is drunk; I can see the vehicle zigzagging. I stiffen, I think he's about to catch me full, but luckily, he collides with another car that had stopped. The impact is so strong that the windows break and fragments spread everywhere.

Three of these hit me: one grazes my cheek, but only gives me a small cut. The other two, however, are more painful. One sticks on my right thigh, the other on my chest. I collapse on the asphalt with a thud and try to plug the two wounds. A passerby calls 911, but I think it's too late for me.

"It hurts so much I can't stand it...

I lost too much blood...

I think this is the end of me... This end is just pathetic!” I reflect, giggling mentally. I hear the sirens of the ambulances approaching in the distance, I assume there is more than one; they have to help those who are left inside the cars. "No... I don't want to leave the people I care about... I don’t want to make my family sad with the news of my early demise...” I keep pondering, starting to see blurry around me. I can't hear what anyone close to me says; I just hear a persistent ringing in my ears. "That's how I'm going to die... At least now I can become a boy, can't I?!" I think sarcastically. I close my eyes even though I wouldn't want to, and a lonely tear falls down my cheek. "I'm so sorry, guys..." It's the last thing I can think of before everything goes black. Immediately afterwards, the darkness transforms into an all-white space.