This specific episode really looks into him personally, this does imply they he is in love with his brother. He will not act on it because he feels it wrong. I decided to explore this because his brother is the only person the he talks with. His brother wants him to make friends but Loki is not the type of person to feel comfortable with that unless he controls them. He doesn't know what his sexuality is all he knows is that he is……. “Straight” but in the movies of marvel i’m going to include some things that his personality is in because this is going to help the loki in my AU. he is an extrovert, introvert. Reason why i say that is he can hold a conversation but doesn’t like talking to people all like that. He is a book worm and he like being alone, but when he is forced to talk with people he can talk but then he will say something rude so that person can leave even if the thing he says isn’t true. Also their will be a lot of body dysmorphia in this, when meaning he is really uncomfortable with his body. He doesn’t mention this to anybody beside himself. I hope that you enjoy this even though its sad T^T. i just wanted to give everyone a heads up on this. So enjoy this inside of loki’s thoughts.U^U  ----_----

BtW loki planned the event with him and his brother so that why thor is mad and loki forgot LOL T^T

I thought that if i suppress all my feelings for thor it would go away and i don't know why but it’s been 4 months since i been with the avengers i feel not only uncomfortable but insecure about my body. it ‘s really ugly and pale everytime i touch it i feel like i need to cover it up….

1 hour later

Doctor Strange is a therapist apparently. Let's see what he can do to “ make me feel ……better”  . I am obviously uncomfortable with the fact that I have to have this therapy session with him but I can’t help but squirm in my seat. I couldn’t help it, my groin was bigger…. I wanted to make it stop but it was weird but I told myself that I could use a spell and fix it.  As Dr. Strange sat down and did a spell on me before we started. I'm obviously uncomfortable with this. I want to leave but something was keeping me from leaving.

DR.S: So Loki, How was your day?

Loki: fine? Why am I here? Why can’t I move?! Fix this, this instant!

DR.S: Sorry Loki I cannot let you move this therapy session is very important. Second question. Why are you always reading books?

Loki: Books?You want to know why I like books?

DR.S: Loki, answer my question Now

Loki: why? Why should I have no authority over me, I don’t have to listen to your stupid babbling going on.

DR.S: *sighs* Loki: Why are you always alone in your room?

Loki: * pauses for a second* I’m reading my books….. and doing nothing but thinking.

DR.S: What do you think about Loki?

Loki: That's none of your business, why do you want to know so much about me! You're not going to find much! If you don’t let me go I swear!

DR.S: Loki! What can you do? I used a spell on you so you can get up. You are stuck, no one is behind that glass, just you and me, why are you hiding something? 

I wanted to leave so I could cry in my room. That's really what I do anyway. It's more depressing. I hate this therapy thing. It's been stupid I have to spend 2-3 hours talking to someone I don't like already. Strange has told me it’s not healthy to talk to thor everyday and spend whatever I do in my room forever. I laughed and walked into my room. I was being stopped by Natasha Romanoff. I pushed her gently away but she pinned me to the floor. 

Loki: GET OFF OF ME.

Nat : NO HE TOLD YOU TO STAY

Loki: I DON'T HAVE TO STAY IF I DON'T WANT TO.

Nat: I DON'T CARE, YOUR WHINING IS REALLY ANNOYING

DR.S: nat get off of him please, he can go

Nat: what!? Okay fine

I ran to my room, I locked the door and I was feeling uncomfortable. I went to my bed and I cried myself to sleep. I don't know how long I was asleep but all I knew was that I was still uncomfortable.  I woke up, took a shower, got dressed and I slowly walked to the kitchen when I thought no one was there. ----- everyone was there, there was an awkward silence i didn’t speak but i knew everyone was looking at me. I paused, then I turned around and walked straight to my room. Thor got in front of me and asked to join him. I hated eating around people, I just wasn't feeling safe. I said no and he begged and pleaded. I finally said yes and I felt eyes around me. I ate my food quickly and left the table. Thor suggested another thing “training with him” meaning train with everyone. I gave him a look, I said no, Thor got up since he was done with his food. His voice was so deep. In a very serious tone

Thor: Why?

Loki* nervous* I-- I umm

Thor: Loki Why, Unless you have something to do that doesn’t involve reading. * smacks Loki's back. Get ready in 20 minutes i’ll see you in my room

Everyone had never seen Thor so serious before. It was a nerve -racking experience. I got dressed. I was in the training room last but in the corner of the room. I was uncomfortable with the fact that I was there. Thor walked up to me and grabbed me by the arm ruffle. I just wanted to watch, not do anything really.

Loki: THOR…. THOR!

THOR:............

Loki: ANSWER THOR, I CAME DOWN HERE BUT I’M NOT TRAINING WITH YOU!

Thor grabbed me ruffled. I was pulling back but I couldn't. I just really wanted to leave. Everyone was watching. 

Loki: Thor !  let go of your tightness. Let go!

Thor looked at me and glared, Natasha made a comment talking about how I finally shut up. He took me to a room. I wanted to go to my room so bad. He threw me. I was confused. He said fight. I standed there smirking at him thinking he was joking.

Loki: Thor, is this a joke?

Thor: Fight loki

Loki: No, I won't what are you going to do make me * smirking and a chuckle

Thor: ...........

Thor was silent. I was nervous he was walking towards me! He got his hammer. I was backing up slowly. He was walking faster. My heart was pounding with every moment on my mind. I just really hate this. I was running towards the exit and he grabbed my waist. Threw me back in and I just was running back.

Loki: thor i’m done * heavy breathing*  i’m going back to my room

Thor: No loki, we just got started 2 minutes ago.

He said it so calmly, I wanted to leave. I hate this. I wanted my room. I made a run for it but the Big green hulk appears and grabs me i bit him he hits me but lets go. I’m running so close to the exit the NAtasha comes and rams me from the side. I roll twice. She pins me. I tried moving but she put me in a headlock so I could get out but I got out and Thor's hammer landed on me and was on the leg of my pants. He walked up to me. Slowly while I'm trying to get out I just want to go to my room. I feel disgusted. 

Thor: Loki , look at me.. * serious and angry tone* Loki, I told you we were having this, you promised that we were going to this.

Loki: * panicked* well i lied okay, Get your hammer off of me. Please

Thor: * take hammer off grabs loki brings him close* were doing this weather you like it or not Loki * angry tone*

Loki: ummm okay……

After we trained, I wanted to go to my room. I know my brother wants to spend time with me but I slip away. I'm finally in my room. I take a shower and get comfortable. I hear a knock on the door, I know it's my brother. I’m in the middle of getting dressed. I finish and open the door. I’ve never seen Thor this angry at me. 

Thor *slams the door* Loki, why are you ignoring me?

Loki: Maybe I don't like training. I like reading books. I don't feel comfortable doing that.

Thor: * pins him to the wall* loki you think i did know that. Loki you didn't have to make a scene like that. I ---- I just wanted to have fun with you…….

Loki: thor…. I--- Im sorry it would have been fine if we did it alone--

Thor: alone why do we have to do it alone. Is it because you don't want to be watched? Loki if you were really sorry you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable no one cared but if you run like that they think you're trying to hurt other people!

Loki: * nervous* I why couldn’t we do it just the 2 of us?

Thor: WHY… WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO LOKI?

Loki: I just feel uncomfortable when people watch us do stuff.

Thor: ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME. DO YOU WANT TO HIDE ME FROM THE WORLD LOKI. * hurt confused angry*

Loki: * touching his shoulder gently* Brother i don't mean it like that I feel uncomfortable every time people are around me. When I am alone I can feel like I can enjoy things with you. 

Thor: Are you saying that you don't trust them?! Loki, they don't trust you. You don't understand how many people you killed.

Loki:* choked cough* i-i do, i dont;t understand why you're pinning me and why you're angry. I got scared while you were fighting me down there. I don't understand why I feel uncomfortable when people look at us. I just want us to be alone when we fight. I don't want to feel judged.

Thor: * serious tone* you're ashamed when people see us, Loki, just admit it. Stop saying all this crap and just admit you hate it when I say loud things. And someone looks at us and they give you the face. AM I RIGHT LOKI  YOU ARE ASHAMED OF me---- * tears flowing*

LOki: Thor i-i promise i’m not ashamed of you i just feel uncomfortable with other people……

Thor:..... ….

Loki: THOR……. THOR….. Please look at me. I promise I'm not ashamed of you……………….. 

Thor: Then why are you always telling us to go another way and stay on walls and watch me. And not participating in the activities that we were supposed to do together.

Loki: You look better at those things than I do. 

Thor: loki----* hugging him* I'm sorry, please forgive me for yelling at you. I just think that you're lonely and I want you to have fun and do something other than reading.

Loki: forgiven but let's do something that would be fun ice skating .

Thor: Winter is coming around the corner . It's perfect!

I wanted to tell Thor how I actually feel about myself. I look ugly and no one would want a body like mine it has way to many scares

I'm ashamed of myself. I hate how I look . I hate my body. I'm super pale and I hate how my hands are. Other people look normal and I look fat. I already know people hate me even though you do just think that someone should like to switch my body for someone else's.  All these pictures. Even Odin said my body belongs in a graveyard. I deserve death….. 

* author i feel the last three words are dramatic T^T like it wasn’t intended for that to happen but back to the story it very..JUicY --_--* I hope you enjoy this episode until next week