I woke up in the middle of the night after having the same reoccurring nightmare of my mother. I felt sweat drip down my back as I sat up and I didn't need to see my reflection to know I must look like a mess. I stood up from my pallet and stepped out of the sleeping tent. "I must go into town, I know you don't like it Holly…" I heard Alpha's voice from around the corner. "If someone must go let me do it, you are needed here, if you die what will we all do?" Holly cried quietly. "Holly, you may be my Beta, but you are my daughter first. As a mother I cannot put you in that position-" Alpha was cut short by Holly, "You act as everyone's mother in this pack, you cannot favor me over the rest!" "I don’t' Holly, that is why I'm saying that I will be the one to do this. As your Alpha that is an order" Holly was quiet for a while before she spoke, "Yes Alpha. I won't bother you with my concerns anymore." As she walked out of the dense area of trees the argument had taken place in, I could see tears pooling in her eyes. Holly was one of the toughest people I knew, to see her cry shocked me to my core. 

I continued my initial journey to the river, still shaken by what I had heard. I couldn't help but agree with Holly, though. It was a dangerous journey and if we lost Alpha to it the pack would fall into disarray. When I reached the river I rolled up my pant legs and waded into the shallow water. I breathed in my surroundings as the cool, wetness soothed me. I felt so helpless to this whole situation, and I didn’t want Alpha or Holly, or anyone else to be put in danger. I wasn’t a pup anymore but sometimes I still felt like one. I wish I could just protect everyone on my own, if only I could be the one to save everyone. I wanted to be a hero. For now though I was just the youngest non-pup and that meant that I stayed at the camp to forage plants around the perimeter and tend to the pups. For now though all I wanted was to drop my worries into the flowing water and let them disappear down the river. 

When everyone else awoke I helped Sage and May cook and then assisted the pups with washing in the river. It was a full on water fight with splashing everywhere. Beth sat quietly in her usual spot, which was strategically positioned so as not to get pelted with mud. I helped an especially little pup who was one of Sage's children wash up. Behind me I heard a shout and a cry, then the sound of laughing. I turned quickly to see Beth trying to hold back tears as mud streamed down over her head, down her back, and pooled on the ground behind her. "Cut it out! What are you, common household pets. You know better!" All the pups mumbled a quick "sorry…" but some of the pups didn't look very sincere. Especially the one who had hit her with the mud. She was big for her age, so even though she was young, she was much stronger than the rest of the pups. So it was no surprise when she started to pick on Beth. She was not the first to be a bully to Beth, because even though they did horrible things to her, Beth refused to tattle and wouldn't let me tell either. I worried about her though because I knew the reason she wouldn't tell wasn't just because she was kind. It is common for werewolves to look down upon weakness. Our pack tries to be better about it but it's still ingrained in us.

 After I had chased away the bullies I sat next to Beth like I had many times before. I held her while she cried, and held back my own tears. I loved her and hated seeing them hurt her. “Bee, don’t give up yet. One day they’re all gonna look up to you, when you’ve done something so amazing no one can ignore it! And you can forgive them or tell them to piss off!” I shouted. “Diana!” she exclaimed at my foul mouth. Then she burst into laughter and we both almost fell into the water from hysteria. I did believe though that one day she was gonna do something spectacular and everyone would see her for what she was. I just had to be patient and keep protecting her till that day came.

When the day had ended we gathered together in our nightly celebration of the dark half of the day, and the arrival of the moon. We sang and ate and talked about anything and everything. Even though the air was light it seemed that really the only thing that wasn’t just trying to appear on the bright side was the fire. And even it’s light would eventually die out. I stared at the flames and watched them flicker in the wind. No matter how much the sky blew on the fire, it stayed strong. I wanted to be strong like the fire and wise as the moon. It’s like something in me clicked that night. That’s when I decided I wasn’t allowed to just want to be a warrior, I had to become one. So when the moon was all the way up in the sky and everyone was tucking in for the night, I ran and howled from my heart, all the way out of my mouth. This was the night my journey began.