Chapter 18

“Vic? Are you ready to go?” Lisette asks, standing in my door. Carefully tying a bow around the end of my braid, I nod. “Yes. Tavatta and Orsilo are coming too?” I check, carefully smoothing out the skirt of my red and white checkered dress. The four of us are going on a picnic on the rock plains just behind the town - it’s a bit of a trek for all of us except for Orsilo to get there, since we live further away, hence why Orsilo will be bringing the hamper of food that we all helped prepare together yesterday.

Orsilo is the only other person to join Ven’s territory in the past year since Lisette and I arrived. He was the son of a merchant who was supposed to be doing a deal with Ven, but Orsilo’s father betrayed Ven at the last moment. Ven supposedly took Orsilo as a sort of payment for his father’s betrayal, but we all know the truth: that Ven saved Orsilo from his father.

Our friend is a cheerful boy- young man, technically, I mean he’s a year younger than Lisette, but a twenty year old feels like a child to me considering that my mind has lived for close to forty years. Not that close; I have another just under four years before then, but it’s still a little odd for me.

Anyway. My point was that although Orsilo is happy and bright now, when I first set eyes upon him I immediately recognised a fellow battered soul. He’s been through hell and come out the other side; just like Tavatta, Lisette, myself and Ven. 

That’s the kind of place that Ven has built. A sanctuary for everyone who was lucky enough, who was brave enough, to make it this far. It’s not like it’s been a plain sailing year for us, and there have been a lot of hardships to overcome, physical and mental, but we’ve made it. 

Things are feeling brighter. For all of us.

“I want to join you on patrols!” Orsilo exclaims to Tavatta, who just shakes their head again. “Hey we’ve been over this; you’re not ready. Physically or mentally.” 

Orsilo huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and mumbling something before gladly accepting the sandwich as I hand it to him. Orsilo offers me a bright smile before going back to grumbling about Tavatta being ‘unfair.’

He knows that they’re right though. Not only is he terrified at the sight of violence, but he’s also a terrible fighter. Orsilo is strong as an ox, but strength alone won’t get you far when out on the rock plains outside of the walls. 

Not many people come visiting, but 90% of them are hostile. Tavatta and the other patrollers dispose of the hostile intruders and try to find out what the others want. On occasion, there are people like Lisette and I, who were chased into the Lord’s territory or others who simply didn’t realise where they were. Most of them though are out to kill Ven or kidnap me. Most of them are bounty hunters, so we can pretty much assume that the king or Agnaria is after us.

Still though, they aren’t seriously attacking us. They send random individuals who think that they will be able to brute force their way in, rather than sending an entire army, for example. And this is because that would also be futile.

I hadn’t heard much about Ven from this world; most of what I knew was in my memories, but in the past year I have learnt a lot. Some of which Ven has even told me himself. The Life spirit hasn’t spoken to me in a very long time, but Death assures me that the spirit is well, and Death and I actually get on quite well. It was through this spirit that I found out about the magnitude of Ven’s destructive power.

So I understand why the king isn’t properly attacking us. It would serve no purpose - if Ven wanted to, he could wipe out an entire army single-handedly. He’s done it before, after all, when he first joined with the Death spirit.

Knowing that Ven will protect us, I have gradually been able to relax and feel safe here. I still live in Ven’s home, and I daresay that we are actually quite good friends now. After he showed us the town that first time, the Lord and I began to spend more time together. We started to read books and recommend them to each other, I painted him a few times, that sort of thing. When I mentioned playing the piano in my first life and a little as Hector, Ven then went to great lengths to have a piano made for me so that I could play again.

He is sweet, and I know that we both appreciate each other’s friendship. Plus, we both recognise the distinct line drawn between us, by each of us. There have been moments where we’ve had eye contact, and realised that maybe if our pasts were different, we could be together now as lovers.

But neither of us is ready for that, at this point.

We haven’t ever put it in words, but I know that he understands. That’s just the thing with Ven - he always understands, without me even needing to say anything.

We just…get each other. In many ways, we seem to be perfect for each other, as friends. There are points where I have wanted it to be something more; it’s sort of a constant underlying feeling, since I consider him a good friend now. I know that if I let myself, I would love him. I would trust him.

But how can I ever tell him that I could never trust him to not kill me? 

I can’t say that.

But he understands, nonetheless. 

And I understand that he always feels like he’s just waiting for everyone he loves to betray him. 

I understand him, and he understands me, and therefore we remain as just friends.

And that works perfectly for us.