TW // Mentions of homophobia
CW // Swearing
This morning, Jax had gotten up early and taken a cold shower to get his mind up and running. He figured it could do him some good to do that every day, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to do that all the time. Still, on the second day of school, it was quite important to him that he be awake by the time school started. Plus, it meant that he now could be bothered to talk to people in first and second periods, such as Raymond and Logan. Maybe he could actually make some friends.
Raymond had spoken to him first and expressed an obvious interest in becoming friends. Logan was different in that sense, but Jax figured he should befriend his project partner and table partner. Besides, Logan had been the one to suggest doing their project on LGBTQ+ rights. It surely couldn’t hurt him to have a friend that was an ally at the very least. Maybe if history repeated itself, he wouldn’t be so alone the next time.
He knew he was probably being dramatic and that as long as he didn’t tell anyone, nobody would figure it out. Unless he chose to kiss a boy and someone saw, in which case he would have to have told the boy he kissed, so that didn’t really count. Yet still, he couldn’t help but worry about it. All the ‘what if’ questions that didn’t have answers constantly swirled around in his mind. As much as he tried to disperse them, they never went away.
He hoped that having some friends would help. Plus he was a firm believer that every person on Earth needed a friend. That included himself, didn’t it? He couldn’t go back on his own standards.
As he entered the gym for second period, he gave the room a quick scan. He located Raymond fairly quickly, noticing that he was talking to another boy. Jax made his way over. Raymond spotted him when he was halfway to the pair and waved. Jax waved back. The boy Raymond had been talking to glanced over at him, giving him a once-over. He said something to Raymond, at which the latter smiled and nodded, giving a short answer in response.
By then, Jax was only a few feet away from them. “Hey!” Raymond called out, grinning.
Jax offered a half-smile. “Hey. Don’t mean to interrupt you. You’re just the only person in this class I’ve even talked to,” he said.
“Don’t sweat it,” Raymond replied. “This is Levi, by the way,” he said, gesturing to his friend.
Levi, presumably, had blonde hair he had pulled into a tiny ponytail. His hair had to be above his shoulders when it was free for the ponytail to be so short. He himself was short, but he had lightly defined muscles, like a swimmer. He had freckles across his nose and cheeks, dotting his tan skin.
“Hello,” Levi said, averting his gaze. He stuck out his hand and Jax shook it. The gesture seemed overly formal to Jax, but he thought perhaps Levi did not share the same sentiment.
Levi cocked his head. “You enjoy P.E.? Or nah?”
Jax nodded. “I do. Although I’m not a huge fan of some sports,” he said honestly.
Levi nodded. “Fair enough. Which ones do you like?”
“Basketball,” Jax answered almost immediately. “That’s my favourite,” he clarified.
Raymond grinned. “Mine as well.”
The coach started shouting at people to make two teams. Many groans could be heard when she announced that they would be playing kickball. Not that it wasn’t fun, but other things were better.
The teams were also very unbalanced since all the athletic types wanted to be on the same team. It was painfully obvious which team was going to win.
At least the class passed faster than the previous day when the coach had made them run laps. Although, Jax wasn’t entirely sure if he thought that was a good thing or a bad thing.
The rest of the day passed quickly as well. He and Logan made a lot of progress on their group project. The way his maths teacher explained the homework still seemed alien, but now in a slightly more discernible language. There weren’t any yelling teachers in study hall. Jax counted that as a win.
Because Jax’s family lived out of zone, Jax had to be taken to school and picked up by his parents every single day. He was sure it was annoying to them, but they never said anything.
When he got in the car, his mother gave him a warm smile. “How was school?” she asked.
“Good,” Jax answered, brushing off her question.
His mother frowned. “How so? You’re not getting away with that answer.”
Ever since his being outed at his old school, his mother had taken extra care to ask Jax about his day every day. She never accepted one-word answers and always wanted to hear the details. Jax wasn’t yet sure if he appreciated it or despised it.
Huh. There were a lot of things he was unsure about, weren’t there?
Jax sighed, looking out the window. “Maths was slightly more understandable. I’m actually attempting to befriend a few people. They seem nice. Uh…” he paused for a moment. “Oh! We got a lot of work done on that history project!”
Jax’s mother smiled. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.”
Jax smiled back. Then, he turned his head to look out the windshield.
His mind flitted back to the conversation he and Logan had in ELA earlier that day. He really hadn’t got a clue what to say to the boy, despite having numerous “friends” at his old school.
He supposed it was because people spoke to him. Others had always been the ones to start the conversation, and then Jax was able to start talking confidently because he knew what he was talking about. And there was also the fact that he hadn’t felt emotionally close to any of those people. Sure, he spoke to them, but they had never been real friends. Now, what he wanted was a real friend. Someone who would truly be there for him. He figured his experience at his old school had changed how much that mattered to him.
His mother pulled the car into the garage nearly half an hour after they had left. Despite being out of zone, they lived relatively close to the zone line. Thus, it didn’t take them too long to get to and from Jax’s new school.
Jax headed to his room. He set his backpack on the floor and plodded over to his bed. School had taken a lot out of him for some reason. So he laid down to take a nap.
It became apparent that the nap was much-needed when, hours later, he heard an annoying tapping noise on his door. It was becoming gradually louder.
“Jax! Dinner!” He heard his older brother call from the door.
He groaned, rolling over and sitting up in bed. Of course, dinner had to interrupt his perfectly good nap.
A quick glance at the clock told him he had been asleep for— three hours? He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, vaguely wondering if he was still dreaming. Nope. The clock still read 6:27.
Jax willed his feet to move and take him to his door.
“Jax!” His brother called once more, the incessant knocking growing louder somehow.
Finally, he rolled out of bed. He made his way to his bedroom door, giving his brother a glare.
His brother, Noah, burst out laughing when he saw Jax. “You look like shit,” he said, grinning at Jax.
Jax simply tried to make his glare more threatening.
It didn’t work.
He pushed past a cackling Noah and stepped down the stairs to the dining room. The table was already set, so he took his place and stared at his bowl. Noah followed suit soon after.
Jax’s father noticed how his gaze was fixated on his bowl and chuckled. “What philanthropic theory are you coming up with now?” he asked in a humorous tone.
“Methinks dinner should be eaten whenever and not interrupt naps,” Jax fumbled, picking up his fork and poking at the air.
His father laughed as his mother frowned disapprovingly. “Eating dinner with the family has always been something we’ve done,” she said as she picked up the pot of stew. She was a pretty good cook, in Jax’s opinion.
“I know, I know. Just sometimes I wish you’d let me sleep,” he said, reiterating his earlier point.
Jax’s mother did not seem pleased at this but said nothing. His father gave him a lot that said “don’t argue with your mother” and sat down at the table. That was the end of it.
Dinner was good, as usual. After eating, he went up to his room after dinner and sat at his desk, finishing up his maths homework. His siblings convinced him to watch a movie with them, which he fell asleep halfway through.
He’d count that as a pretty good day.
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