"I'm sorry, Ethan," I said.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," Ethan said.

We go back outside. Because everyone got up to look out the front door, no one sat on the couch. I took a spot next to Alyxi. Lightheaded, I looked at my phone wondering if I should text Andrew. A part of me was so freaked out, I didn't want to.

"I don't know about Andrew..." I said to Alyxi.

"I think Jacob deserved it."

Did he though? All Jacob did was poke him? I mean yeah, an asshole thing to do, but he didn't deserve to be hurt for it.

"Are you going to go watch hentai?" I asked.

"Nah, I am good," she said.

"Alright, so we got Night of the Living Dead or The Blair Witch Project," Ethan said completely changing the subject.

"What else do you got?"Bailey said.

"I don't fucking know. Look," Ethan said and tossed her the remote on her lap. "Find something on Netflix."

He sat on his sofa chair and breathed, placing a hand on his head as Bailey put on The Ring. Fuck. I didn't want to watch this movie. Way too scary.

"I'm sorry I punched Jacob. Today has just really sucked, and I didn't want to deal with him being an asshole again," he said. "My family has been fighting a lot, and my Mom hit me today. I know you may not believe me, but I feel awful and I just really need you."

"She hit you?" I texted.

"Can I just call you?"

Getting up, I walked outside and the sun started coming down. Wind picked up in my hair.

"I'm really sorry. Can I just come back?" he said, bawling his eyes out.

"Are you okay?"

"No," he said. "I'm really not."

"I don't know if Ethan is going to let you," I said.

"Could you ask him?" he asked.

I walked in, and the movie already started. Going up to him in the middle of it felt rude, but I didn't want to let Andrew down. Softly, I walked up to Ethan and showed him my phone.

"Andrew wants to apologize. Can you talk to him?"

Groaning, Andrew took the phone and stepped away. Not wanting someone to steal Ethan's seat, I sat down and took it up. No one paid attention to the film. They just talked to each other. Alyxi and Bailey chatted. Odd. I didn't think they'd get along.

Ethan came back and handed me my phone.

"Could you answer the door when he comes?" he said.

Oh, so he was letting him back? Surprising.

"Okay. I saved your spot," I said and got up.

"You can sit on my lap," he kidded ( I think?).

"No, that's okay. I don't want to break your legs," I said.

This joke didn't land well. His mouth gaped open stunned. Since I was fat, I like making fat jokes to make the pain easier, but I guessed not everyone was like that.

"I have strong legs?" he said, unsure if it was okay to play along.

"No, it's okay. Thanks," I said.

Someone made a soft knock on the front door. Peeking through the blurry glass, I opened it to a red-faced Andrew. He smiled, pretending like he didn't just have a mental breakdown.

"Hey," I said.

We walked in and sat on the empty spot on the floor. Other partygoers sat to our left.

"Oh hey, Andrew is back," Daniel's girlfriend said. She watched him hold my hand. "You know she's autistic right?"

"Shut the fuck up," Andrew said.

"Oooh, damn. Sorry," she said and watched the movie.

I loved the feeling of Andrew's hand. It was so soft and smooth. However, the longer he held it, the more my anxiety flooded. He leaned his head on mine, and as cute as I thought this was, I felt a panic attack coming up.

"I need to pee," I said to him and got up. I asked Ethan, "Where is the bathroom?"

"Down that hall," he said pointing.

Walking down, I stepped by his bedroom where I heard a lot of moaning. Oh god. I went into the bathroom. Still heard the moaning. You know what? I am good. I walked back to my spot with Andrew and sat down.

Immediately I am met with a hug. Keeping his body close to mine, he lifted his sleeve and showed me a bruise. My stomach fell. Oh, this must have been where his Mom hit him. Why was he showing me now?

"This was the bruise my Mom left," Andrew said.

Bags sunk under Andrew's strained eyes, and I knew this had been on his mind. I lightly touched the bruise and rubbed it.

' "I'm sorry that happened to you, Andrew," I said.

His eyes glistened as if touching the bruise was the biggest romantic gesture I'd ever done. Then his lips met mine. Remarkably soft, I didn't think lips felt this way. Confused and thrown off, the kiss created a weird high. Butterflies hit my stomach, and my brain caught fire. He did it so fast I didn't have time to think, really. He just kind of smooched me. It didn't last long, or not as long as I pictured my first kiss being. Zombified, I kind of wanted to kiss him again, but the back of my mind screamed at me not to.

Leaning in, I placed my lips on his just like he did for me. He didn't put his tongue in my mouth, so I didn't, too. Withdrawing, he kissed me on the forehead. Why did he stop? Turning away, his face turned bright red, and I realized I overstimulated him. Again, he kissed me, a little lighter this time.

When are we going to start tonguing? That's what I always read about in romance books. Passionate, long kisses with a lot of making out. I didn't want to make out. I just assumed that would be what we'd do. Andrew had more experience than me, so I just let him lead the way.

"Ethan said there is a room upstairs if you want to go there," he said.

"Sure," I said very ignorantly, thinking he wanted to talk.

He took me by the hand and led me upstairs. Looking down the hall, I saw some of the hentai playing on their big screen T.V. I ignored the character's high-pitched voices.

Now, I wasn't sure what I was thinking. Andrew seemed vulnerable, and I guess I assumed he wanted to be alone to decompress. The idea he might want to sleep with me crossed my mind, but I just wanted to be there for him. Maybe we could just talk. He closed the windows.

"Why did your Mom hit you?" I asked.

"Are you sure you're okay with doing this? You seemed really hesitant before?"

"Doing what?" I asked. Finally, I realized, when he made a "obvious" gesture of what he meant. I gasped. Looking at the door, I wondered if I could just leave. "I thought we could just talk?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to you," he shrugged somewhat disappointed. He sat next to me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked brushing his hair with my fingers.

"I really want to have sex with you."

I sighed and stood. "I just really don't want to sleep with you. I'm sorry. If you want to break up with me, fine, but I want to wait."

He sighed and stood up. "Fine. Then break up with me." He started walking off.

"Okay, bye," I said.

"Why don't you want to have sex with me?" he said, coming back.

"I don't have to give you a reason. It's personal."

"Well, I'll wait for you. What do I need to do?"

"I don't think we should go out anymore. I'm sorry," I said.

"Just let go and have fun with me," Andrew said, his voice filled with venom.

"Jesus Christ..." I said and just left. I knew Andrew was going to blow up in my face, but this guy was not getting it. So I was leaving. Going downstairs, I took out my phone and called my home.

'Amber, I'm sorry," Andrew said.

You know what? I don't want to wait for my parents. I am just going to ask Ethan. I hung up and walked over.

"Can you take me home?" I said.

"What?" Ethan asked concerned. He stood.

"I want to go home. Can you take me?"

"Yeah, sure," Ethan said and searched for his keys. I heard it in his pocket. As I spoke, Andrew took off. Good riddance. "Right this way."

"Alyxi, I am going home. Do you want to come with me?" I asked Alyxi quietly.

"Oh, yeah, sure," she said.

We followed Ethan to an old Mercedes black car in his puddle-stained garage. Crying my eyes out, we drove back to my home in hysteria. Alyxi rubbed me on the shoulder asking what happened. I explained the situation to both of them through jugs of tears and gross choking.

"Well, good thing we saved the day," Alyxi said.

"I feel so stupid," I said.

"No, he's stupid. You didn't do anything wrong."

They stopped in front of my house. I wiped my eyes.

"I'm never dating anyone ever again," I said.

"Don't say that, Amber. Don't let this guy screw up your life," Alyxi said.

"People can be really fucking shitty, but that doesn't mean everyone is shitty."

"I guess...has this ever happened to you?" I asked them.

"It's okay. Just take a deep breath, Amber," Alyxi said.

"Happened to me. Someone really wanted to give me a handjob, and I said no," Ethan said.

"Really?" I said. This sort of thing happened to guys, too?

"Yeah. Just get these people out of your life," Ethan said.

"Okay..." I said feeling like I was going to faint. "I'm going to call my therapist. Thanks."

I couldn't feel my legs, but I stepped out of the car and made it inside. Dad and Mom watched TV inside and didn't ask where I'd been. They're used to me being out with Alyxi this long. Going to my bedroom, I sent my therapist a text saying that it didn't go well with Andrew and that I wasn't feeling well.

Soon, she called and I ranted to her about it for hours. I'm glad she was there because my world felt like it was ending.

I didn't want to wake up the next day.