Koi was – like me – not very popular in school.

All these years later and I can’t really tell you why we clicked so much, but it doesn’t surprise me.

The very quiet and timid girl in school who was an absolute stickler for the rules, pairing up with the snarky boy with attitude problems.

We were both lonely, but most likely for different reasons.

I don’t know what happened since we stopped seeing each other frequently.

Somehow, she became that snarky girl with attitude problems.

Did I become the quiet and timid boy?

“So, you’ve been best friends since you were kids, and you’re having a bit of a spat. Did I get that right?”

The sun is beginning to fade as it starts to get late. It makes me realize how long Chika and I were talking in the café.

Right now, we’re sitting on park swings, side by side, as we watch the busy metropolis around us come home from work.

Despite the display of lights from the city illuminating the sky, the park that we are in is dark - a cold place that might have been lively a few hours ago.

“I wouldn’t call it a spat, maybe more like a-“

“Lovers’ quarrel?”

Chika’s cool air dissipates slightly as a smile creeps up with that little jab.

“How about just a quarrel?”

My hands grasp and twist around the chain of the swing more and more as Chika keeps on with her insinuations that Koi and I are somehow a couple.

Not one person ever has thought that.

Ever.

“A quarrel is boring, I need something with a bit more description, something more alive.”

Who are you, my editor?

The cute maid in front of me puts one finger on her chin, looking up into the sky for a moment before descending back to reality.

“Did we just turn discourse about specific quarrels into a quarrel or a spat?”

“What’s the difference?”

Now that we’ve gotten so far into this, I can honestly say I have absolutely no idea what differentiates these words. For some reason, a spat to me felt more like something a couple would have.

“Nothing. They are two words for the same thing, it’s just a difference in how you interpret them.”

Chika, as her name suggests, is wildly intelligent.

When faced with an actual smart person, I am left to wonder if my mental capabilities are as great as I’ve been boasting.

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something.”

She pushes off the swing lightly, swaying back and forth as the tiniest bit of her hair starts to ruffle in the wind.

“If we were talking and I wasn’t trying to tell you something then I don’t think this conversation would be very productive.”

You even admitted it!

Now to work out what that thing is.

Difference in interpretation…

Difference in interpretation…

It feels like my whole face is tensing, as if somehow, I can squeeze some of my brain cells into responding.

Surprisingly, this method is ineffective.

“You appear to be having a hard time with this.”

Was it that obvious?

“What are you trying to tell me?”

Chika’s disposition seemingly never changes, no matter what she stays calm and says what she needs to say. This is probably what makes her such a good maid – calm and collected at all times.

“I’m just trying to say that there’s a difference in how people see things, how people interpret things. The way I might see a situation might be different from how you do, which most likely differs from how Koiyomi sees it.”

There’s the life lesson I was looking for in this back and forth!

Thinking about this in the context of Koi, is Chika trying to insinuate that I may have misinterpreted the current situation?

Maybe not even insinuate, I think she’s just straight up telling me that!

As I look at her, the picturesque vision of a maid, I feel inclined to believe her. After all, she seems to have proven she boasts more brain power than I do.

It’s got nothing to do with the fact that she’s a girl and well my current problems circulate around a girl and getting advice from another girl might help with those girl problems maybe.

Nothing at all!

Don’t forget that I am Aki, the Greatest, Conqueror of Worlds and Women.

I ball my hand into a fist and raise it in triumph.

“Are you okay?”

Chika’s words snap me out of my sudden chūnibyō and back into the world of the living.

“Yeah, sorry I think I just blacked out for a few seconds there.”

That wasn’t me! That wasn’t me!

That loser did not have protagonist energy.

“Are you trying to say that I’m wrong about Koi being angry with me?”

Chika puts her feet on the ground and stops swaying as gravel crunches beneath her feet.

“I just think there could be another possible explanation for everything is all. You make a lot of assumptions, you know?”

Is she calling me out?

Is that true? Do I really make a lot of assumptions?

“What do I do then?”

Please, oh wise and powerful Chika! Tell me what path I should take my life on. Give me your invaluable knowledge.

My hands clasp together as I do a makeshift bow towards the young maid, while still sitting on the swing.

“Most of that you’ll have to decide for yourself, I can only help you with the things I know from my life.”

My disappointment is immeasurable.

I put my faith in you, Chika!

“But, I will say that you can start by putting yourself in Koiyomi’s shoes, try to see this from her perspective and above all – try and work with facts instead of useless conjecture.”

Chika flashes a smile in my direction, as if she so desperately didn’t want to say anything to alter my course of action but also felt like she needed to push me in the right direction.

I knew I could trust you with this!

“That’s actually really helpful.”

It dawns on me that I’ve been looking into this whole thing without knowing much at all. I don’t much about who Koi is now and the things she’s struggling with. Even if she is upset about something, and even I don’t know that – it doesn’t mean that it has to do with me.

I’m the protagonist, but that doesn’t mean the whole world revolves around me.

Somehow that statement seemed self-aware and narcissistic at the same time.

Chika gets up from the swing and holds her hand out to me.

“Did you want to get going?”

Looking around, I notice that the sun has all but completely gone down, the busy traffic that once flooded this area has become but a faint glimmer of what is once was.

Time seems to fly when I’m with others.

I’ve known Chika for the better part of a day now and it feels like we’ve known each other for years. I wonder if Chika, in all her infinite wisdom, knew that this might happen if we hung out together.

There’s a big chance that this very desirable maid gets along with everyone she meets like this, it would make sense given her occupation.

I grab Chika’s hand and push up off the swing myself.

“Where to, Chikaroo?”

If she wants to be friends with this, then I hope she knows the world of embarrassment she’s getting into. Even I found it hard to write that one.

She quickly raises one hand to her mouth and chuckles slightly.

I wish she wouldn’t hide her smile like that, even the little bit I can see is the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen all day – and I’ve spent most of it in a maid café.

“You’re funny. I’ve got a car waiting for me around the corner, walk me?”

Although I nod and smile as I go along with her to the car, there is one thing I can’t wrap my head around.

She means a taxi right? Like she’s got a taxi waiting for her?

Right?

As we turn the corner from the park, there is a black limousine parked right in front of us.

It has to be the longest and fanciest car I’ve ever seen in person.

The sort you’d only ever see in American movies and sometimes from that rich character in anime series.

You know the trope, the one where all of a sudden the girl you’ve known for a little while turns out to be the rich heiress to a massive fortune, lives in a mansion and has servants wait on them…

A large man dressed head to toe in an expensive-looking black suit gets out of the driver's side and opens the passenger door.

“For you, Lady Kotobuki.”