Max held the hand of the poor soul in front of her. She wasn’t about to let such a person continue to suffer any longer. And as the sun set in the alleyway, she couldn’t just leave her. In front of Max was a person in a tattered dress.

“Adam doesn’t suit you.” she said softly. “How about… Aven?”

“Aven?” asked a voice from behind Max, which made her jump out of her skin. “Sounds so mysterious, Maxie. I like it.”

“Oh Beatrice,” Max sighed. “You scared the daylights out of me.”

“You worry too much!” laughed Beatrice, letting the giant serpentine ally she called Fluffy crawl along her arm. “What’re you doing out here this late? Is that the candy shop boy?” she asked, pointing to Aven. She had been served a bag of candy only earlier that day, which she was still munching on.

“That’s Aven,” Max explained. “And Aven’s a woman.”

“A woman?” Beatrice asked, confused. Max leaned over and whispered extensively into her ear and her eyes lit up. “Oh, I see…” she said, swaggering forward and holding a hand to Aven. “Come on, let’s go. If my sister-in-law doesn’t want you sleeping in a back alley, then I’ll personally make sure you’ve got a roof over your head.”

“R-really?” Aven asked, drying her tears at a faint glimmer of hope in her voice.

“Hawthorne’s honor.” Beatrice swore. Aven took her hand and got to her feet. “We’re going to have so much fun together!” the snake lady said with such happiness. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve had another friend than Maxie at my place.”

*   *   *   *   *

Both Beatrice and Aven bolted awake to the rampant knocking at the door that Beatrice recognized as Max’s. The reluctant home-owner moaned and groaned, yawning like crazy and clearly signaling that she didn’t want to get out of bed.

“Fluffy, be a dear and get the door.” she half sleep-talked.

Aven watched with amazement as Fluffy slithered off the bed and across the floor, stopping at the door. The snake then slithered to the handle, undid the door’s deadbolt, turned the handle, and let Max in.

“How do you make him do that?” Aven asked in awe.

“I ask nicely.” Beatrice said into a pillow.

“Both of you, get up and ready!” Max said. “I wanna have a day out, just the three of us. Since it’s Sunday, Aven should have the day off.”

“I don’t wanna get up now.” Beatrice moaned.

Aven went and got dressed while Max pried Beatrice from her mattress. By the time she got back to the room, Max was dragging her friend by the ankles across the ground. They stopped when Beatrice got up to confront Aven.

“A lady can’t be dressed in… that.” Beatrice said, motioning to Aven’s very much made-for-men pants and shirt. “I have to say, it’s not how we do things.”

“I don’t have any other dresses than what you found me in…” Aven said quietly, looking down.

“You what?!” Beatrice exclaimed. She looked at Max, who nodded in confirmation. She had seen Aven’s luggage last night. Beatrice shook her head in disbelief and Aven continued.

“My father burned them all except for the one I was wearing before I was thrown on the streets…”

“No lady friend of mine is going to be seen with me without looking drop-dead gorgeous!” Beatrice said, punctuating it with a fist slam into the wall, making a hole. Aven noticed quite a few holes in the wall actually.

“You know father’s going to have your head if you make more holes,” Max warned.

“I’ll move the dresser and cover it up,” Beatrice said simply.

“So what about the holes the dresser is already covering up?”

“Fine, I’ll move the other wardrobe.”

“And the holes the wardrobe already covers?”

“Oh um…” Beatrice looked stumped. “Maybe we can take a day and redo the wallpaper entirely. Father will never notice.”

“Mhm, I’m sure he won’t.”

In record time, Beatrice got ready and threw a dress on herself before emerging looking disturbingly happy. It was one of those wide grins that clearly displayed she was about to have her fun. She grabbed Aven by the arm and forcefully dragged her away, exiting the house and turning the street corner.

“Where are we going?!” Aven panicked. Max laughed reassuringly.

“She did this with me too.” she explained. “Let her have her way. It’s just easier.”

“We’re going to find you something and you’re going to look beautiful.” Beatrice said, determined and a bit scary. They marched into the nearest boutique.

The clerk at the counter saw them storm in and didn’t think much of it. It was a slow day and he had no other customers. Plus, it wasn’t too out there for the most greedy, entitled Hawthorne daughter to demand a new pretty dress every few days. He looked at them with vaguely distant eyes that signified that he had fallen asleep on the job and woken up only when they paraded in.

“I need a few dresses for my friend here to pick from, and make sure they’re her size.” Beatrice demanded, holding up Aven’s arm. The clerk raised an eyebrow.

“You know that’s a man, right?” he asked skeptically. “I’m not serving a man any dresses.” Beatrice slammed her fist on the counter, making the wood underneath groan.

“And I’m Beatrice Hawthorne! I could buy and sell you and this building ten times over if I wanted to!” she threatened. “So you’re going to serve my friend here, give her as many dresses to pick from as you can, and you’re going to make her look and feel beautiful! And if you don’t I’ll make sure you never get a job in this or any place ever again!”

Everyone was quite taken aback by the outburst. The clerk scrambled with a “Yes ma’am” and a “Right away” to go gather as many dresses as possible for Aven. Max and Aven knew about Beatrice’s temper, and were glad they weren’t usually on the receiving end. Though her way of caring was aggressive, at least it was to show that she did care.

“Remember what we talked about?” Max whispered in her ear. “About playing nice?”

“Oh come on Maxie!” Beatrice hissed. “He was disrespecting Aven and I wasn’t going to let the shoe grime do that to her!”

“I know, I know. Just don’t lose your temper again, ok? Remember what father threatened the last time you went too far?”

Beatrice’s face fell as she held Fluffy close.

“Fine. I’ll calm down.”

In the end they bought so many dresses for all three of them that they were carrying a basket in each arm full of clothing. They laughed and pushed each other, seeing who’d lose balance first as they decided to go spend the evening at Max’s house. Aven changed while she was over, and Beatrice laughed maniacally while she threw them into the fireplace before anyone could stop her.

*   *   *   *   *

The three of them were sitting around Max’s house talking. Aven and Max were properly sitting in seats while Beatrice was laid out entirely on the couch with her hair hanging down while Fluffy wrapped around her legs. Reginald was at work, so they were just left to their own devices.

“You want a man, Aven?” Beatrice asked. “You want one, I can get you one. I’ll buy you one. It’s not as hard as it sounds.”

“Um…” Aven didn’t know what to say.

“Come on, what do you want? A manslave? Done. Want a personal bitch? I can probably find one.”

“Maybe let her meet the one for herself,” suggested Max. “You know how well it works when people try to force a husband into your life.”

“Ugh, yeah,” she groaned. “That is the absolute worst.”

“Do you have a husband, Beatrice?” asked Aven. Beatrice and Max burst out into laughter.

“No, no I don’t. My parents tried to set me up with a lot of men. After the first few, I stopped with the blind dates. Whenever they tried to set me up, I just ran away and spent time with Max instead.”

“Oh… well, are you going to find one, you think?”

“Eh, I don’t know. I’ve had my fair share of men, so maybe I’ll just wait for a bit before I try to get a husband again.”

“Fair.”

“Arrg! I’m bored!” Max proclaimed. “I don’t want to just sit around this house all day and talk! I want to go places, do things-”

“Fuck people,” finished Beatrice with a smile. “That’s one of your favorite pastimes, right Maxie? I’ve peeked through keyholes. You’re pretty ruthless-”

“HEY!” she yelled, turning a deep red. “Not in front of Aven!”

“HAHAHA!” Beatrice howled. “You should see your face!”

“Don’t listen to her!” Max said, whipping around to Aven. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about!”

“I’ll um, pretend I didn’t hear that,” Aven said, trying not to giggle.

“Hey Maxie, wanna take her out for a treat?” Beatrice asked. “I’m really craving some ice cream right about now.”

“Don’t you mean take you out for a treat then?” Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine,” she shrugged. “How does taking us out for ice cream sound?”

“If you’re buying.”

“Ugh, what good’s a sister-in-law if you can’t use her wallet for food?”

“I was thinking the exact same thing,” Max said with a wink, sending her and Beatrice into a laughing fit.

“You two are pretty close, aren’t you?” Aven asked. “You’re sisters?”

“In-laws,” clarified Beatrice. “She’s married to my brother, so that makes us sisters. We’ve been friends since she fell into Reginald’s arms on the street next to me.”

“You make it sound like a fairy tale,” said Max, rolling her eyes.

“Looked like it to me. Meant to be.”

“Ah, quiet. C’mon, let’s go.”

*   *   *   *   *

Max, Aven, and Beatrice walked down the street together, with Aven relishing one of the dresses that Beatrice bought her. It felt enchanting to wear, and . In their path, a group of three guys came walking, looking particularly like they were about to try something. They stopped and blocked their path, trying their best to flirt but failing horribly.

“Give me some credit here,” said one of them who was the only one who wouldn’t give up on them. “You’re three drop-dead ladies. How can I resist? Especially this beauty.” He caressed Aven’s face and reached to try and take her hand, making her jump back and scream. Unfortunately, the voice gave her away to them.

“Oi, that one’s not a lady!” one of the men said.

“You got played, Samson!” the other laughed wildly. “Sammy got fished by a crossdresser, he did!” The one who grabbed Aven’s hand looked shocked and gritted his teeth.

“You think it’s funny to make me look like a fool? Huh?” He grabbed Aven’s arm and tightly pulled her face-to-face. “Say something, you pansy-ass crossdresser! You hanging with these dames to be one too? Well?!”

“Let her go!” Max shouted, clenching her fists.

“Her? HER? This is a man, and he’s an ugly fucking slug! And you bitches are just as bad!”

Max clenched her fists and raised them, but Beatrice gave Max her ice cream cone, put a hand on her shoulder, and calmly stepped forward without hesitation.

“You don’t wanna do that.” she said, not particularly threateningly.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” he asked, letting go of Aven and pushing her to the ground, spilling her ice cream on her dress and ruining it. Beatrice got closer and put her arm around the man’s back, taking even him by surprise.

“You could spend the day with me instead.” she purred, batting her eyelashes. The man’s expression softened and he smiled mischievously.

“Well baby, if you wanna have a good time, then-”

He gasped and looked like he’d been stabbed in the back. The man froze as he felt Fluffy slither off of Beatrice’s arm and up his shirt. His breathing trembled along with his entire body, and Beatrice smiled deviously at his terrified expression. Fluffy crawled slowly up his chest and along his neck, going back under his shirt.

“What’s wrong, baby?” she whispered in his ear. “Didn’t you want a good time?”

“I- you-” he stuttered.

“You want to repeat what you said about my friend?” she asked. “About what you said about how she dresses?” The man stayed silent and terrified. “That’s what I thought.”

Beatrice called for Fluffy, and he crawled out of the man’s shirt and back onto her arm. The man looked like the weight of the world was off his shoulders.

“Watch out,” she warned. “You poke my friends and you might find my fangs in your heart.” For extra effect, Fluffy bared his fangs in a hiss, and Beatrice flashed a shot of her sharp canine teeth freakily. He shuddered.

All three of the men ran the other direction, nearly tripping over each other to run away from the fabled insane snake-obsessed daughter of the Hawthornes. All the men had heard of her, but not everyone truly believed all the stories. They heard Beatrice cackling all the way down the street corner.

“That was quite a performance, Bea.” Max chuckled.

“They don’t call me ‘The Hawthorne Snake’ for nothing.” Beatrice said, sticking her tongue out. She took her ice cream back from Max.

“I was just afraid you would go too far.”

“Me? Never.” Beatrice helped up Aven and looked at her dress. “Ugh, those pigs! They ruined your dress and your ice cream!”

“Oh, I don’t mind…” Aven said sadly. “I mean, he probably wasn’t that wrong…”

“No, he was 100% wrong,” she said firmly. Beatrice thrusted her ice cream into Aven’s hands. “Here, have mine.”

“Oh! No, I-”

“Take it,” she insisted.

“But you’re the one who wanted-”

“Take it!” Beatrice hissed, her emerald eyes glaring like daggers. Aven gulped and took her ice cream. “I don’t need it anyway…” she said under her breath. Aven could still hear it though. “Don’t wanna get fat…”

“Come on, I’ll have to get started on dinner tonight for the big dinner.” Max urged.

“You mean we’ll have to get started.” Beatrice corrected with a smile, turning to Aven. “I hope you don’t mind helping out in the kitchen. My brother is having friends over and it would be great if you could help with cooking the food before tonight.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind at all.” Aven said happily. “I helped my mom with the cooking a lot back home actually.”

“Let’s go then!” Max cheered, marching forward. “To home!” Aven saw Beatrice smile, then look around with a frown.

“You two go ahead.” she insisted. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Don’t tarry for too long.” Beatrice said dramatically. “I don’t know how Max and I will make the food in time all on our own.”

“Probably could’ve started earlier if we didn’t go dress shopping for hours on end this morning.” Max sassed.

“Hey, you enjoyed it, right?” Beatrice asked.

Aven watched them walk to the house and go inside. When they were out of sight, she began walking down the street, finishing her ice cream cone. 

While Max went to start prepping food, Beatrice put her stuff down and secretly peered out the window, watching Aven. She saw her walk down the street, look behind her like she was trying to make sure she wasn’t being followed or watched, then proceeded into a bakery. A few minutes later she came back out, but with no more than what she had walked in with. From there she walked to Max and Reginald’s house, where Beatrice opened the door to greet her.

“Do I know you?” Beatrice asked, feigning ignorance.

“I- Um… You-”

“It’s just a joke.” she teased. “Come on, get in here. Let’s start that cooking.”