Read I shouldn't love her :: Prologue

Ice is beatiful, I've always thoght that. I loved the cold that comes with it and the feeling, when the skate blade polws trough an ice rink or the murky surfice of a frozen lake. I've loved most of the winter sports ever since I was a little kid, i found a unique beauty in them, something I only feel when cheer with heart and soul, and if I watch every tiny move. Of course there has been sports I haven't taken a liking to for example speed skating and curling. I'm not the biggest fan of bob copetitions either, but it's fun to watch them time to time with my family. I dreamd of becoming an ice dancer for a long time, because of all sport it was the most dear to me, the elegance, the harmony and the hard work behind it. But that dream never came true.

I've been figure skating for six years now, luckily my parents can finance it. I don't do it too seriously, but they are still happy for me and they even show up at a few of my competitions. I don't like practices, I don't have a problem with my coach, I'm already used to the other girls' hatred, but I feel so alone on the ice rink that I just can't seem to enjoy what I'm doing. I rarley need any alonetime, becouse I love to talk to people that is why this feeling of lonliness- wich accomponied my figure skating carrier- makes so me sad and afraid. A few days ago I decided that I will quit and I plan to sign up for the syncronized skating team in my town.

This syncronized skate team has never gone further than national competitions, but a more experienced team represents America at the biggest international competitons. Two places unexpectidly became vacant, because two of the girls had to go abroad, so the never ending spiral of training and competitions ended for them. If I can get in I will be able to feel the feeling that only the ice rink can give me and I won't be lonley, because I will have to work with 15 other people. I'm sure it will be exciting!

I look around my bedroom while thinking, medals, pictures and posters are covering the iceblue walls and the cork board above my desk. My phone vibrates and flashes to remind me that it's time to go to the selection. I toss a big, black backpack on my shoulder, then I make a bun from my braids on the back of my head and I fixate it whit a baby blue fuzzy hair band. I hope my bun won't fail me. I run down the stairs, I put my sneakers on and I hastly give mom a kiss on the cheek and I'm out of the house.

When I finally arrive the janitor tells me wich dressing room should I go to and where is the coach's office, in case I'm gonna need something after the selection. Although he said everything in a bored voice, and I can see it on his face that he probably told that at least a hundred times, I thank him excitedly, my voice sounds shaky and I can fell my heart beating in my throat, but I have to get in!

Ten minutes later I nervously adjust my skirt and I step in the line of other applicants. I can see nervousness on som of them, they play with their hair, pull their sleeves or bite their nails. The blonde girl next to me looks like she is about to throw up from stress. A few girls are watching the 14 girls on the ice with bored expression, others stare at their competiton with a proud expression. The coach invites us to the rink one by one. The women is in her fourtyes, her hair is messy and grey at some places, she wears canary yellow sweatpants. Her voice is as sharp as razor blades, she doesn't really holds back. The girl next to me starts to cry, because it is her turn soon. I can hear my heart beat as there are less and less people, the coach only ask for a few things, mandatory moves, the ones that have to be in the compolsury program and the freestyle program in a competition. I have experience in figure skating, but I'm still scared that I'm will screw up.

"We only need the best!"- the coach screams at a skinny girl with ginger hair, who talked back to her.
"Everyone makes mistakes"- answers the girl, she sounds unsure now, she knows all eyes are on her.
"Yes, however you made too many mistakes, go change!"- the stressed woman ended the conversation.

The girl next to me wipes her tears and steps on the ice. Her foot slips and se falls flat on her face on one spin, but she gets up with a smile on her face, and coctinues as if nothing happened. The coach praises her. I'm next, I do the moves with fake confidence, worse than how I could, but good enough not to be sent home.

The lucky ones who passed, me and four other girls, tryed out pair formations with the girls on the team. A beautiful Indian girl glides in front of me and asks me to pratcice with her. Her skating is amazing, her body is fragile and graceful, a very wavey lock of black hair escaped from the bun on the top of her head, fluttering with every movement. I immediatly find the harmony with her, it's like we are one person in two bodies. My body follows her movments and the tension slowly dissolvs in me as I'm gliding on the ice together with that wonderful girl I've never seen before.

In fifteen minutes it is revealed that I got into the team. My heart almost jumps out from happiness, my smile can't be wiped away. To my surprise the blond, crying girl got accepted as well. Sixteen of us headed to the changing rooms at the same time, with excited whispers. In the changing room I take my sweaty turtle neck off along with my T-shirt, skirt, ice skates and leg warmer. I put on my usual blue and white clothes, undo my bun and put my glasses back on.

"Hey girl with the glasses"- my former partner runs up to me in lace panties.
"I am Charlotte"- I say with a smile.
"Radha"- we shake hands- "I want to get your number, because we are going to be permanent partners"- she said with a smile and she pulled her phone out of somwhere.
"Okey, I'm happy to be partners!"- I said in excitment and we exchanged numbers.

Radha run back to get her clothes and I put my shoes on, I wawed goodbye to my new teammates and went home. That is how the new chapter of my life started.