4-The brother knows
Nick's pov
"Guys!"
"Yeah, captain?"
"This can't go on. What happened back in the gym? We weren't playing like we usually play."
"I know. We'll do better next time." Not the time Myung.
"Next time? We had to win today!"
"Sorry.."
"Sorry doesn't cut it! We won every game since last week and now you guys decided to play like sh*t?!"
"Correction they outplayed us."
"No Dom no time for your sh*t. We can't let them win like that. Who's the best team?"
"The Lions!" They all say in unison.
"Yes, that's the spirit. That's us! We are the best team and we have to prove it!"
"Yeah! Nick is right! We had to play better than that!"
"The Lions are the best we can't lose!"
"That's right! Now get in your showers!"
"Yes, captain!" My friends don't listen to sh*t but when it comes to me they always do.
"So, this means there's no party tonight?"
How can they be that dumb? I thought they already know the rule, seems like we won so much that they forgot the rule.
"Obviously there won't be one when you can't play properly! You won't get yourself drunk till you prove you can do better next game!"
"Yes, I will. I won't disappoint you, captain!" They are so in the spirit they call me captain instead of the usual Nick, lol.
"Shut up Aaron and take your shower fast!" He says nothing to that.
It's always rough when we lose but today we played like crap. I'm surprised the guys didn't stand up and accuse me.
I wasn't the best out there. This sexual deprivation is driving me nuts! It just won't go away! I thought I would get over it by now but it only gets worse!
I really don't know what to do right now... Usually, guys would do something to get rid of this tension but I just can't.
I'm not attracted to girls and I can't do it to a guy or else everyone will know. It's not like I'll be able to do it to Ezra. I can't even fathom that.
I don't understand why the only one I think about is him. It doesn't help the way he dresses up at school. It's not like I can tell him to be less tempting. You can't ask that to someone. I don't have the right to that.
Ever since I did that drunk mistake things are worse. I wasn't that horny before. Now it's just to a whole new level. I guess I'll have to deal with it longer.
————-
Coming home is just something else than playing in a gym. It's not that I hate going back home, it's just it's worse when I lose.
At least I won't have to deal with my parents. They are at work but one annoying thing is that I have to deal with the twins. They aren't that much younger than me but yeah, I still don't feel like seeing them but I have to anyways.
"Nickolas!" I move out of the way from the front door.
"Ally? What is making you scream my name like that?"
Allyson Breckner. She shares my last name. Of course, she does. Felix and she are twins that are 16 years old not 10 years old by the way. She's pretty I can tell you that. Eh, the Breckners all are attractive but...my sister is something else.
She stands at 5.5 ft. She doesn't let anything get to her. She's a strong young woman dare I say. Most of the time her long hair is let loose with a usually pretty headband or something in braids. On occasion, she lets her natural hair without straightening her hair but that's rare especially when it comes to school.
Something we never mention but still need to be mentioned sometimes...we're all black-skinned in the family. So, you can tell what she looks like, maybe myself too.
Back to the current drama she's about to create.
"I heard you lost your game." Called it.
"Yeah, I did."
"Dude, how can you do that?"
"I guess we can't always win."
"Yeah, I get that." Then, another figure comes into the living room.
"What are you two talking about?"
"About his loss! Felix can you believe Nickolas lost his basketball game?!"
Felix Breckner. Nothing really interesting about him. Other than the fact he wears glasses, he's a nerd who likes books and is quiet. Ok, he's smart alright?! It pisses me off. He's just way different compared to the rest of my family.
He stands at a height of 5.11 ft which is smaller than me but he's pretty alright himself. He can still gain a few inches but at 16, I'd say that's his final height. If Allyson is annoying with her loud voice, Felix is annoying with his I know everything.
Back to the current situation.
"I'm not surprised." Argh, he's always like that.
"Can't you at least pretend to be surprised?"
"How could I? Obviously, he lost. No need to check online."
"Argh, I'll never get you! Stop being annoying! Nickolas just lost his game, he doesn't need to be reminded of that."
"You literally said the same thing." Allyson wants to argue back but I stop her from doing so.
"Enough you two. You won't go anywhere with that. I lost and that's it. I can't change that."
"So, that means there's no party?"
"Yup..."
"Sh*t, I feel bad for you bro. They should definitely do a party anyways. You guys deserve it!"
"Why would he need a party? He's the captain he should know better than partying."
"Thanks for doubting my position as captain Felix but I already told the guys there's no party. In fact, I'm doing my job great thank you." Felix glares at me.
"So...what about the other guys? Are they mad?"
"Of course they are." We both glare at Felix.
"Yes, they are. I'm the most frustrated about it through."
"Yeah, I get that. You played like sh*t! Are you missing your babe that much?" I glare at Allyson.
"I don't have a babe."
"Oh yeah, what about Livia?"
"She's with Leo now."
"Oh yeah, totally forgot about that."
"New girl?" Felix asks curious.
The hell? The f**k is up with him? Geez...those two won't let me hear the end of this right? Why is Felix investing in this in the first place?
"Nah, it just wasn't my game."
"I don't believe you."
"Why are you still here Felix? Shouldn't you be at your driving lesson?"
"What? I already passed it."
"What? You didn't care enough to tell me?"
"Why should I? You have your car and I take Dad's."
"Enough about this. Why do you want to know if I have a girl in my life?"
"Hm, maybe because everyone wants to know. Shouldn't I be allowed to? I'm your brother."
"And I'm your sister," Ally adds.
"And you have no right to be nosy."
"But..you never tell us anything. What is so secret about it?"
"There's no girl."
"Impossible! How can you of all people not have a girlfriend?! Everyone has one."
"I don't."
"Who cares about you, Felix? Anyways even I have my boyfriend, where's your girl?"
"Since when do you have a boyfriend? Dad and Mom won't let you hear the end of it." I say appaled to hear such a thing.
"Don't tell them besides stop changing subjects. Livia is not yours anymore, got that? Any other girls?"
"No, I told you there's no girl."
"Then, found yourself one. You thought we wouldn't notice you jerking off?"
"Ally! You did not!"
"Oh yes, I did! Who are you jerking off to?!"
"Every guy does that even Felix does it."
"What? No, I don't."
"Sure you don't."
"I've never seen you jerk off that many times. Dude, are you restraining yourself from having sex? What's stopping you?! Every girl wants you!"
"What? I do not do that. I very much hook up thank you."
"When was the last time, you did it to a girl?"
"Why do you want to know that?"
"Because you can't restrain yourself from having sex! I really don't get it. Every girl wants you and I thought you dated Livia. Are you telling me you never did it with her!?"
"What?"
"He's gay." We both look at Felix in an instant.
"What? How can you say that?"
"He doesn't do it with girls, he still jerks off. He didn't even do it with his ex."
"Is that true Nickolas?" I'm conflicted about what to tell her. What will her make her forget about it?
"What? He's saying nonsense. I can't be gay because of that."
"Yeah, Nickolas right. Stop assuming he's gay."
"He's lying." Little sh*t.
"What I'm not. I'm a very healthy boy thank you. You saw me with girls before."
"You still sound gay."
"Are you for real right now Felix?!"
"Yeah, I am."
"Stop saying I'm gay. Do you want me to prove it to you I'm not?"
"No need to do that, I still won't believe you. You're so defensive right now, it's ridiculous. Just admit it."
"If Felix is right..and your gay.."
"Seriously I'm not. I don't get where this is coming from."
"I also heard the other day something interesting. You don't take your shower at the same time as your teammates. What's up with that?"
"What? Why don't you Nickolas?"
"I just don't like taking showers with the guys."
"Because your afraid you'll get a boner if you see them naked."
"What?"
"How could he get a boner from that? Every guy takes showers together after games. Nothing changed in that. Anyways he can't be gay."
"And why not?"
"Because..it's.."
"Sinful? Oh quit saying that. We all know Dad and Mom aren't right on that. I've seen plenty of gay couples and they look good together."
Our parents are fully religious. Not as much as back home but still are and being gay is just...they're not ready for that.
"Why are you saying that now? Are you saying being gay is.."
"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with being gay. I wish you two would see that." Damn, since when Felix is like that?
"Felix...How can you think like that...? Are you gay?"
"What? The f**k no?" Hmm...
"Ok, ok I get it you're not. Thank god."
"Thank god? Does it bother you that much that I could be gay or Nickolas too?"
"Um...no but..."
"Yes, it does. Look at you being hesitant to say anything."
"Enough you two. You're making this a big deal when it's not."
"You sure it's not?"
"I swear it isn't," Felix says and eyes me.
"Hmm, ok. Then, who do you like?"
"What? Why would I tell you that? There's no girl."
"That doesn't mean there's no guy in the picture."
"Oh god.."
Poor Allyson. Why does Felix gotta act like that in front of her? She's homophobic we bet it. She doesn't need to hear more of it.
"Look Allyson go hang out with your girlfriends and I'll deal with Felix here."
"Fine"
And she's off. Now it's only Felix and I. Gosh, it's so awkward already. I never had such conversations with him. He's my younger brother but we are quite distant. Too different to my liking.
Immediately he tried to get him to spill everything which is so unlike him. He doesn't care about my life. Apparently, he says he's tired of my lies. What nonsense is that? First, he accused me of being gay and now he does this? Unbelievable.
Anyways, he admitted that he doesn't mind gay people and that he didn't understand our parents. I'm quite surprised knowing it comes from him but then again he's not the same type of guy the rest of the family is.
He tried so hard to get me to admit to being gay. He tried many tactics, tactics he's never used on me before. Every time he did I tried so hard to deny it but he wasn't having any of it.
He asked questions I can't believe came from him. I'm weirded out, gosh. He asked if I ever thought of dicks before. Which I obviously denied even if I definitely do think of dicks.
By denying that, it forced him to ask whether boobs excite me or not. I didn't answer.
Unfortunately, it brought the opportunity to go on the topic of Livia. Still don't know how he knows her. Even if he goes to the same school as me. I regret saying I never liked her.
He was skeptical of me even more so. He wanted to know if ever did it. I did tell him I did it with girls but he didn't buy it because the next thing I know he tricked me into saying what kind of girls I like! That automatically revealed I like guys.
I couldn't help but admit it in the end. He was really curious about how long I was hiding it. I was scared of his reaction but he was shocked. To my surprise, he took it well. Without too many questions as I promised him, I'll tell the details eventually, later on.
Regardless, he questioned me some more and wanted to know who I liked. So, now he knows I like Ezra...
Surprisingly, he took it well. So much so that we had a whole talk about Ezra and what I should do regarding him. Damn, he takes everything so well. I never knew he was so open-minded.
In the end, to get my revenge we made a deal we'll talk about who he likes next time. He didn't want to but accepted it anyways.
Right now I couldn't be happier. I never thought I could ever tell someone to let almost Felix my brother but it feels good. It feels like a weight has been put off me. I never knew telling someone would feel that liberating. If only I could do the same with the others.
Though I really wonder what it means for Felix and me. We aren't really close and it's the first time I really open up to him. Will we be closer from now on because he's the only one who knows? That I can't know but I wouldn't mind actually. Felix being supportive is a new thing but I want to see that side more often from onwards.
Anyways..as great as I feel right now, I have to get to sleep, so I can go back to the real world where no one knows my deepest secrets and that I know will never support me either way.
————-
Today we have a game and it's time to play. All my team enter the gymnasium. Everyone cheers for us. I notice my parents, Allyson and Felix. Then I notice another figure, Ezra..he's here. I guess he still didn't listen to my teammates warning him from coming here.
I wonder is he here for me? Focus stop thinking about that! Maybe he's here for a guy on the team? Argh no! F**k, I hope not.
"Let's go Lions! You can do it, Breckner!" That brings me back to reality. Sh*t, I forgot Livia is on the cheerleaders' team.
Why is she cheering me on as if she still likes me? That girl doesn't get that Leo likes her. As a matter of fact, even if he's trying to hide it, I know he wishes she yelled his name instead.
It's not like I care about her but Leo does and she's leading him on, how nice. Even if Leo isn't my biggest buddy I still feel for him. He doesn't deserve to get led on by her.
She really can be a sneaky b*tch if she wants to. At this rate, everyone will think we're a thing again and I don't want that.
If her hanging out with us sometimes lately isn't enough, I don't know what is. Eh, I'll deal with that later.
"Ok guys, we have to give them all." I go closer to Leo. I make sure only he can hear me. I almost whisper to his ear.
"Forget about Livia. Don't forget what I told you the other day. I'll make sure she cheers for you next time."
"Yeah"
"Now let's focus on the game. Safe girl trouble for later." I pat his shoulder.
"Gosh, those guys are being so annoying. Why they gotta smirk at us like that?"
"Eh does seem like I know Aaron? They think we'll lose to them but we'll show them the opposite."
"Yeah let's do it!" Coach comes closer to us.
"Mind them, focus on being the best out there. Especially you Nick." I awkwardly smile.
"Yes sir." He goes back to the bench.
We make our usual handshake as a team.
"We are the lions!"
"And we are the best!"
"Yeah!"
We prepare ourselves to play and the referee blows his whistle. The action starts. Time to give it my all and show those f**kers who are the best! Let my good mood make me win!
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