Warning: Mentions of body dysmorphia, negative body image, bigotry, and death
It was a couple of weeks after that, that Harriet and Thomas ended up back on Katelynn's couch. "Now don't look like that," Katelynn spoke seeing the grimaces on the two's faces. "It's really not that bad talking to me is it?" She asked almost humorously, "It really is." Harriet deadpanned. "You seem excited." Katelynn chuckled before perking up, "I see some new developments." She remarked, Thomas looked over and realized Harriet's mark was showing just over her collar.
"Congratulations are in order." Katelynn said lightly, "Thanks." Both of them spoke, "How did building a nest go?" Katelynn asked, "It made our heat and rut come early." Thomas spoke up. "As expected," Katelynn replied writing some things down in her portfolio. "Wait you knew that was going to happen?" Thomas asked exasperated. "Of course, studies show when a paired couple like yourselves enter into a nest created together for the first time it's likely to cause estrus." Katelynn explained, "I believe it was about a seventy-nine percent higher chance." She remarked tapping her pen against her lips.
"You sound proud of yourself." Harriet deadpanned, "Oh I am." Katelynn smiled tilting her head cutely. "It's nice to have a couple that actually only needs to be told once what needs to be done!" Katelynn looked like she was on the verge of tears at this point. Suddenly her excitement made a bit more sense.
"I'm guessing some tough clients." Thomas said exasperated, "I can't really talk about it." Katelynn sighed, "Sounds rough." Both Thomas and Harriet spoke up. "It is." Katelynn heaved one more sigh before clapping. "Anyway, today's subject is childhoods. Neither of you has spoken much about yours and our focus is going to be on Harriet's! We'll go back to discussing Thomas next session." Katelynn explained.
"Oh joy." Thomas grumbled leaning on his side of the couch, "I know very exciting." Katelynn said before looking at Harriet who cocked an eyebrow. "My grandfather is Professor Harris Lovelace, I'm named after him. If you've read his autobiography then you've read about my childhood." Harriet said, "Oh I didn't know that, let me write that down." Katelynn spoke making a note.
"It covers most of the second half of the book," Harriet sighed, "Regardless of my grandfather's analysis there isn't much to say. I'm an only child to my fathers despite efforts to conceive another." Harriet continued, "Still I was treated well enough and had a decent well adjusted childhood." Harriet explained.
"I'm not child protective services Ms. Smith." Katelynn deadpanned, "Tell me how you really feel." Katelynn pressed, "That is how I feel." Harriet replied stoically, "Then how's your relationship with them now?" Katelynn asked with a snide smirk on her lips. "I'm not speaking with them." "Why?" "they're bigots."
"You sound bitter." Katelynn remarked, "Of course I am, they spoke ill of my Thomas." Harriet spoke protectively, "Your Thomas?" Thomas spoke up feeling his cheeks burning. "Yes, you're mine." Harriet looked over speaking firmly. She stated it as if it was a fact, "I thought we already agreed on that." She grumbled looking away. Thomas felt his face burn darker when he realized what she was referencing.
"Yeah, we did..." Thomas mumbled covering his mouth with his hands. "I'm missing context." Katelynn remarked, "It's for the best." Thomas replied putting his head between his knees in embarrassment. This was the first time Harriet had called him hers... But it had made him so happy.
Katelynn cleared her throat, "So why did they speak poorly of him?" Katelynn pressed, Harriet clenched her jaw, "They wanted to set me up with someone back home so I'd move back." Harriet spoke, "I see." Katelynn replied, "Do you have any idea on why they'd do that?"
"They said they were worried about me. But, I can't help but feel they wanted to control me." Harriet sighed, "I agree in some respect, I also think they didn't have anything in common besides you. You've served as a buffer in their relationship Harriet." Katelynn explained, "I wouldn't have mattered who you ended up with, they would've found something wrong. It just happened that Thomas had a target painted on his back."
Harriet grunted in response clearly not liking Katelynn's phrasing, "What I mean to say is, those two centered their entire relationship around you. Without you there, things must be falling apart and they don't know what to do." Harriet scoffed hearing Katelynn say this, "Sounds like them." She grumbled.
"Since your fathers seem to be too sensitive of a topic right now, let's talk about your grandfather. How old were you when he passed?" Katelynn moved on, "Thirteen." Harriet replied, "I inherited all his things. I still have them." Harriet spoke up, "Even his clothes?" Katelynn asked curiously, "Just his sweaters, I wear them sometimes." Harriet said with her expression softening. "You two were close?" "Yes. I was there when he died in the hospital from cancer."
"I'm so sorry for your loss," Katelynn spoke, "Thank you." Harriet replied, "Where were your fathers?" Katelynn asked, "Working." Harriet spoke, "Like always..." Harriet trailed off. "So your grandfather raised you then." "I guess."
Katelynn sat her portfolio aside and sighed, "You know I came into this session expecting to talk about the emotional labor put on you by your fathers after the loss of one of your biological fathers but... I think your actual issue is the loss of your grandfather." Katelynn explained, "Your behavior towards your grandfather's memory is much more loving than your relationship towards your fathers. You sounded embarrassed but proud about the autobiography having chapters about you. You still wear some of your grandfather's clothes and you have his things."
"But I'm curious," Katelynn spoke folding her hands on her lap, "What kind of person was your grandfather?" She asked eying Harriet, the alpha woman looked off into the distance and smiled a bit. "A pain in my ass." She said grinning, "He was a perfectionist, everything had to be done a certain way." Harriet chuckled, "Sometimes I would purposely mess up just to get him started. He was so fun to tease..." Harriet trailed off, "he was also very kind, he was always worried about me."
"So you'd say that Thomas and he were pretty similar then?" Katelynn asked, Harriet, perked up hearing this, and Thomas sat up straight. "What?" Harriet laughed a bit as she said this. "You've called Thomas a perfectionist haven't you? That's probably what initially attracted you to him. Just like you being similar to his mother attracted Thomas to you." Katelynn spoke casually.
"Pardon?" Thomas asked flustered, "Come now Thomas, It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you like women who are quick-witted and strong-willed. Harriet and your mother are the same in that respect." The couple stared at the therapist horrified.
"Relax, it isn't some weird theory or anything. People just find familiarity comforting and will tend to be drawn to people that remind them of other people." Katelynn spoke smoothing over any strange implications, "I'm not saying Thomas is exactly like your grandfather and I'm not saying Harriet is exactly like your mother, Thomas, I'm just saying you two are similar enough to people the other cares greatly about." Katelynn explained.
"Which is why Harriet is scared of trying to conceive with you Thomas, she has recognized that male omega pregnancies are especially dangerous based on personal experience and the fact that you've reminded her of her grandfather who passed away. That's where her abandonment issues are coming from," Katelynn laid everything out in front of them.
She laughed slightly, "Honestly I thought it was dealing with the trauma of her father that caused it but it seems the thoughts of losing you makes Harriet's subconscious feel just like it did when she lost her grandfather." Katelynn spoke in a light tone, Harriet was silent and looked over at Thomas.
"They are similar." Harriet confessed, "Thomas is more fun to tease though." She looked at Thomas, "Also my grandfather was short, I like how tall Thomas is." Harriet added, "That's what sets me apart?" Thomas asked a bit exasperated. "There are some other things but I'd rather not speak of them in front of our therapist," Harriet remarked with a slight grin. "Harry." Thomas sighed shaking his head amused.
"Can you at least say I'm more handsome than your grandfather?" Thomas pressed, "My grandfather was a notorious playboy, even in his later years' young omegas were still hoping to capture a night in the bed with him." Harriet spoke grinning. "How is that different from me?" Thomas replied, Harriet, laughed. "Yet another in-joke I'm not privy to," Katelynn spoke reminding them she was still there. "We're a couple, not a throuple." Harriet spoke without hesitation.
"Please let me live vicariously through you," Katelynn begged in a joking tone. The session unlike the last ended on a much better note. This time Harriet was given a couple of pieces of homework, one was to write a letter to her grandfather. The other was to tell Thomas more about her grandfather.
As soon as they got home Harriet went to one of the bookshelves and pulled out a thick book. Setting it down on the coffee table in front of Thomas, he eyed the book. "A lifetime of knowledge- the life story of Dr. Harris Lovelace?" Thomas read the title aloud, "This is my grandfather's autobiography. He started writing this shortly after I was born." Harriet explained before opening up the page to see a picture of a baby Harriet sitting on the lap of a man that looked very similar to her.
"He finished it around the time I was five, we took the author's photo together," Harriet said as Thomas looked at the picture. Both of them had incredibly stoic looks on their faces. "You two look alike." he chuckled finding the picture of Harriet cute. "Apparently my father Joey looked like him as well." Harriet remarked, "You didn't mention he's your grandfather on the side of the father that passed away." Thomas scolded, "I wanted to keep that tidbit to myself for now." Harriet deadpanned.
"I should tell on you." Thomas teased, Harriet placed a hand over his as he was about the turn the page. "If I ask really nicely will you not tell the teacher?" Harriet replied playfully, Thomas grinned, "I don't know." He said looking away just before Harriet kissed him.
"Hmm, that may have swayed me," Thomas said grinning, Harriet smiled and sat down beside him. Thomas paused and then realized Harriet wasn't really in the mood right now. "You alright?" He asked, Harriet was staring at the book with a frown firmly placed on her lips.
"Thomas, do you know what it's like to feel the life drain out of a person?""Thomas, do you know what it's like to feel the life drain out of a person?" Harriet spoke staring at her grandfather's picture. "No." Thomas replied in a quiet voice, "I held his hand as he passed. There's this... The disgusting hollowness that comes after." Harriet spoke softly, "It's... It's like you're tapping on the outside of a vase but there's no water in it... It's...." Harriet trailed off. "Lighter than expected." She placed a hand on the page, "But still heavy at the same time."
Thomas watched as Harriet's expression became distant, she wasn't mentally present anymore. He placed a hand on her shoulder and Harriet flinched. "Harriet." Thomas was concerned, he slowly pulled her into his arms. Harriet was stiff and then slowly began to relax before collapsing onto him.
She didn't say anything and at first, Thomas hadn't realized it. It was only when his shirt got wet did he realized Harriet... Harriet had been silently crying. Thomas took a breath and pulled her into his lap hugging her tightly. "You were alone weren't you?" he asked as he felt Harriet cling to him. "You're not alone now Harry." He spoke softly, "I won't leave you alone." He whispered.
It was then Thomas decided to give up on this desire, it was hurting Harriet too much. It wasn't worth seeing her cry so many times for it. Harriet cried quietly for an hour before passing out in Thomas's grip. He laid there on the couch running his knuckles down her spine soothingly.
They wouldn't stop going to therapy, they obviously needed it. But this... This was too much.
So Thomas and Harriet continued therapy for months. Things were peaceful and Thomas didn't say a word about children again. He had Harriet instead made plans for vacations together. When summer rolled around they went to the Crystal Islands.
The multicolored beaches were beautiful but, Thomas stared at the slight bump on his stomach. He had prided himself on his well-earned fitness but it seemed that nothing he did got rid of this. It had been there for a couple of months. Honestly, he was a little embarrassed so he rarely took his shirt off in front of Harriet anymore.
Would Harriet even think he was handsome if he started getting fat like this? He couldn't help but worry, what if she thought he was letting himself go? He had heard some alphas complaining about that in the office. He stared at himself in the mirror and groaned. Months of therapy did nothing for his damned body issues.
He was sure Katelynn would be thrilled to dissect this again once she found out. "Exhausting," he complained to himself slipping his shirt on. It was halfway on when Harriet walked into the bathroom. "What is?" Harriet asked, Thomas, pulled his shirt down quickly, and Harriet stared.
"You've not let me see you shirtless for a while." She eyed him, "Were you trying to see me?" Thomas asked adjusting his shirt. "No, but, I'm concerned is everything okay?" She asked walking into the bathroom Thomas was in. Thomas pursed his lips and then sighed.
He lifted his shirt up embarrassed, "I swear I've been working out but I can't seem to lose this." He complained, "It might be my imagination but I'm pretty sure it's getting bigger." He sighed exasperatedly. Harriet looked at his stomach with a neutral expression before her eyes slowly widened. "What?" he asked confused, Harriet then pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"Tommy." Harriet spoke after taking the deepest sigh, "Yeah?" Thomas asked perking up at Harriet's pet name, "You're pregnant."
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