Chapter 19 

“I’d be happy to teach you, if you want?” Orsilo suggests kindly when I marvel at his baking talents. Apparently he always cared for his father after his mother passed away, and that included cooking. 

Although Orsilo and I are friends, there’s a certain amount of distance between us. He doesn’t tend to talk much about his past, and neither do I. He knows that Lisette and I only arrived here a few months before him, but he doesn’t know who we really are. It’s too complicated to explain about royalty and past lives anyway; we’re keeping my whole…situation on the down-low. The fewer people who know about the spirits and soul swapping etc the better.

And the same goes for our status as nobility. The princess is still after me, apparently, although random people stopped trying to come after Lisette and I quite some time again. Ven presumes that either Agnaria gave up or Fate is working its magic and bringing Agnaria and Lyon together instead. 

I still have no way to confirm that Lyon has Jack’s soul now, but it’s a likely possibility. It’s just…an instinct. A gut feeling.

And I know to trust my instincts.

“That would be lovely, thank you,” I say fondly, patting Orsilo’s arm. He smiles back at me, looking more comfortable. He isn’t really used to having friends, from what I understand, and he used to struggle with interaction when he first arrived. But by now, we all get on well.

It’s nice having friends again. Since coming to live in Ven’s territory, I have been feeling peaceful in a way that I haven’t in years. Those first few years after I ended up in Hector’s body were like this - relaxed and calm. 

Now, I’m finally feeling like I can just enjoy my life. 

My existence has taken so many turns in the past decade or so; I fell out of love, I died, I was given a second chance. I started again, in a new world; a new body. A new life. I lived as Hector, and then everything was taken from me. Again. And then bit by bit, I made my life my own again. I became myself, I told Lisette the truth. I found someone who understands me like no one else. I found friends. 

I have made my own path in life.

And for once, I’m actually enjoying this path.

—————

I love playing the piano. It feels like a bridge between Victoria and Hector, so I’m glad to be able to have it as a part of Tevic’s life as well. My life. The real me. 

Ven had the piano placed in what was formerly a dining room - Ven never ate in there and so I didn’t either; we always just used the kitchen. And since the room was large and somewhat acoustic, without having a proper use, we moved the table and chair out of the room and instead made it into a music area. He sometimes comes across people who have sheet music, and Ven will always buy them for me. The pieces are never that hard for me, since in my past life I had progressed quite far, and although my skills are more rusty now than they were then, muscle memory never really leaves you.

There are a few pieces that I learnt from memory, in my past life, and it brings me great joy to play them now. Ven never asks if I will play for him, since he knows that I don’t like to put on performances. But I keep the door open, and if he happens to walk past when I’m playing, then I have qualms with it. 

He always tells me how wonderful it sounds.

Tavatta told me that Ven probably enjoys the extra sound in his house; enjoys hearing my presence. I don’t shut myself away in my room anymore - I like to draw or paint in the rock garden, I like to play the piano, and I like learning to cook with Orsilo and Lisette in the kitchen.

Ven once said that he never could have imagined that his home would one day be filled with so many people he cared about, all happy and so full of life.

It’s a bit of a strange experience for us both, since we don’t really talk about our feelings much…our communication is always much more subtle. When Ven notices that I look more exhausted in the mornings, likely due to nightmares, he wordlessly makes me hot tea and brings it to my room. He’ll keep his office door open in case I need him, and so that he can hear when I play the piano. 

Before, when I’ve been particularly struggling, Ven brought me a pretty rock that he found while out on patrol with Tavatta. That rock is proudly sitting on my windowsill, next to a dark maroon ribbon that Ven got from a trader. He said it reminded him of me, and to begin with I couldn’t figure out why. And then I realised how similar the shade is to the colour my hair used to be - my hair as Victoria hadn’t naturally been as dark as it was when I died, since I didn’t like being ginger I always dyed it a darker red. 

If anyone else had given me a reminder of what I used to look like, I would have hated it.

But strangely, when Ven does little things like this, or when on occasion he mentions something about my past life…I enjoy the chance to remember my life as Victoria fondly. 

I don’t even remember the last time I felt uncomfortable around Ven. 

It’s not like we talk much. In fact, we exchange very few words each day. But the silence is comfortable. Always.

Lisette doesn’t understand what our relationship is. She kept asking me if Ven and I were together in the way that she and Tavatta are, but I always say no. Eventually, she realised that this…thing between Ven and I just isn’t quite as simple. It isn’t romantic, but it isn’t strictly platonic either. 

One day, I want to speak with him properly about us. About what he wants, about what I want. About what we’re ready for. But I can just never seem to find the right time.

My fingers glide across the piano keys, my foot easing off the peddle at the end of the phrase. Now that I know this piece from memory, I always keep my eyes closed when playing it. It’s easier this way. Easier to let myself feel the music. There’s not distractions this way; just the keys beneath my fingers and the notes brushing past my ears.

I play for a long time until my wrists start to ache. Bringing the piece to a close, I let the final note linger a little before finally opening my eyes. Sitting at the piano for a moment longer, I finally stand up and turn to the door, not altogether that surprised to see Ven standing there. He leans against the doorframe relaxedly, a small smile on his lips.

“I love it when you play that piece. It’s my favourite now, because of you.”

Looking away from him embarrassedly, I touch my cheek lightly in the hopes of hiding any redness. Ven steps fully into the room, walking slowly and stopping just in front of me before carefully taking my right hand in both of his and massaging my wrist. “Does it still hurt when you play?”

Smiling slightly, I shake my head. “It’s nothing to worry about. It only hurts when I play for a long time.”

Ven squeezes my hand gently, smoothing his thumb over the back of my hand. 

If my face wasn’t pink already, it definitely would be now.