“Hey,” Ryan whispered as soon as the bathroom door closed behind him. Blue eyes lifted slowly to meet Drew’s brown ones. The tall boy was standing at the far end of the bathroom, leaning against a sink with his hands in the pocket of his khaki pants. Though anxious, Ryan did not fail to notice how handsome the boy looked in his tight burgundy T-shirt which showed off his muscular arms. Ryan’s mouth watered at the sight of him, his mind filled with images and the feel of Drew’s lips against his which… was so not what he should be thinking about.

“Hi, Ryan,” Drew said as he watched the blond boy carefully. “You’re not looking down at your phone today,” he chuckled.

Ryan shrugged, remaining silent as he watched the senior with a pointed gaze, waiting for him to say something of substance. Drew seemed to sense the animosity in Ryan’s glare, and he gulped, straightening himself before taking a few short steps towards the junior.

The dark skinned boy licked his lips and smiled softly. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For kissing you.”

Ryan felt his heart drop. This was absolutely not what he had wanted to hear, but what exact did he want to hear? “Why?” He asked. Why are you sorry, was what he had wanted to say, but instead followed up with, “Why did you kiss me?”

Drew sighed as he looked down at his shoes. “You’re not gonna believe me,” he scoffed, mostly at himself as he looked back up at Ryan.

“I think we’re way past that now. Tell me,” the blond boy whispered, willing to hear Drew’s reasons with a slight hope that there could at least be a little bit of a crush on Drew’s end for him, no matter how stupid that was.

The senior nodded as he let out another sigh. “This is weird but, I- I’ve actually never kissed anyone before.”

Ryan’s eyes went wide at that, his mouth dropping as he gazed at the tall boy in shock. “What? You can’t be serious.”

“I am!” Drew exclaimed as he moved away from Ryan, but the boy followed anyway. “You see why I can’t ask Nora out? She’s gonna think I’m a freak or something. I’m 18 and I haven’t done anything at all! Isn’t that fucking weird?”

Ryan immediately shook his head as he took another step near the tall boy, stopping when he was merely inches away. “Drew, that doesn’t make you a freak,” he stated firmly. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth he thought about his next words. Taking Drew’s big hands in his, Ryan continued. “I don’t think it’s weird at all. I- I’ve also not done anything… well apart from that kiss now, I guess,” he said, whispering the last part as he looked into Drew’s soft eyes, his face now red in embarrassment.

Drew nodded at that, not surprised by it since Ryan had already told him he had never been kissed. “I’m so sorry, Ryan.”

“What for?”

“For stealing your first kiss,” he whispered as his finger traced Ryan’s cheek slowly. “I shouldn’t have done that… but I just wanted to know what it was like. I’m so sorry.”

Ryan’s lips pressed together as he shook his head, still maintaining eye contact with Drew. “Well don’t be. I didn’t hate it,” he said, smiling. It made Drew chuckle too, and that made Ryan grateful, although a little bit hurt. But he guessed he should’ve expected this. Drew didn’t actually like him enough to kiss him, the boy only wanted to know how it felt to kiss another person.

Why should he fault him for that? Ryan didn’t want to be angry anymore. If anything, he felt a bit closer to Drew now. “I think I understand you better now,” he said. “And I wanna help.”

“Really? You’ll help me?”

Ryan nodded enthusiastically, thoughts already forming in his mind about the things he wanted to do with Drew in order to help him. “Of course… I think we could help each other.”

“How?”

“Well… I could tell you things about Nora, and in turn, you’ll practice the things you’ve never done with anyone… with me. That way, when you finally ask her out, you’ll be ready.”

Drew bit his lip as he pondered over Ryan’s suggestion and by the look in his eyes, Ryan could tell that the senior didn’t hate the idea.

“Did you really like it?” Drew asked him after a moment, and Ryan shrugged.

“It didn’t last long enough for me to know,” whispered the blond boy.

Drew smiled at him as he put a stray strand of blond hair behind Ryan’s ear. “Can I do it again?”

Tingles ran through the junior as he nodded, his heart hammering anxiously as Drew cupped his face in his hands. And slowly, Ryan watched as Drew’s face neared his, his eyes closed on their own accord until finally, Drew’s lips met his in a soft kiss that made the stars in his universe explode.

***

“How did you get so good at this?” Drew whispered against Ryan’s lips as they stood behind the locked door of the Janitor’s closet at school. It was about two weeks after the two boys had their second kiss, and they simply couldn’t get their mouths off each other. It was as if being apart physically hurt so bad that they sought out each other, no matter where the other was just so they could kiss again.

Maybe it was because neither had kissed anyone else before, but Ryan, it was so much more than that. He absolutely adored Drew. And anytime he received a discreet message from the senior asking him to meet, Ryan stopped everything just to rush to the boy. It was so out of hand for him that even his friends began to notice the change in his behaviour. But as much as it bothered Ryan, nothing could keep him from basking in the feelings Drew’s lips gave him.

“I have a really good teacher,” he answered with a chuckle, which made Drew laugh before the senior captured his lips again, their lips molding together with a passion only meant for lovers. The tall boy’s large hands circled his waist as he pulled the junior closer, deepening their kiss as his hand squeezed Ryan’s ass. Tingles shot through him, ripping a moan from his lips just like all the other times Drew had touched him there. He loved that so fucking much!

“Think Nora will like that?” Drew asked as he pulled away slightly, looking into Ryan’s blue eyes.

And just like that, the tingles were gone. Ryan was reminded of the reason why he and Drew kissed so much. It wasn’t because Drew had made some out of this world discovery where he realized how Ryan was so much better than Nora. It wasn’t because Drew had finally decided that it was Ryan he liked all this time and not Nora. And fuck if Ryan’s heart was not taking fall damage from hearing her name every time he and Drew shared moments like these.

He hated being constantly reminded that none of this was for him. But he wanted to be selfish and enjoy it while it lasted, while his heart was still half way from free falling and breaking into the tiniest of pieces.

He gave Drew a small smile as he untangled himself from the boy’s arms, feeling slightly embarrassed for feeling too much. Ryan licked his lips as he looked up at Drew, he could still feel the taste of his lips on his… like strawberry ice cream. Fuck! Why does he have to be so perfect? Drew asked himself. Why did life have to be so cruel to him? Why did he have to love a man who wasn’t meant for him?

“Um…,” he licked his lips again, cheeks reddening. “Yeah, she would!” He exclaimed with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Awesome!” Drew was happy about that, and he proved that by kissing Ryan softly again before pulling away. “I don’t think I could ever get tired of kissing you.”

“What?”

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of kissing. It feels good, doesn’t it?” He asked with a raised brow as he leaned against the wall next to Ryan.

“Yeah… I think so too. It’s nice,” the blond boy said slowly as his eyes narrowed. He was so sure he heard Drew say something else, but maybe his mind was just playing tricks on him.

“Wanna meet up later after school? I’m working at the bar today,” Drew stated. “I’ll make your favorite,” he added when Ryan took too long to answer, which made the blond boy laugh.

“I’ll have to think about it,” he said with a slight chuckle.

“Come on, please!” Drew all but begged, widening his eyes and pouting and making Ryan’s heart beat even faster from how cute he looked. Drew was like a golden retriever, without the blond hair. And how could Ryan say no when Drew looked at him like he was the only person in the world.

Just when he went to answer, the bell for lunch rang, making the two boys jump away from each other, startled by the sudden noise.

“Think about it?” Drew asked.

Ryan nodded and before Drew could break out of the bathroom, the short boy pulled him by the collar of his jacket and pressed his lips hard against Drew’s, his tongue entering the boy’s mouth and taking in everything Drew was willing to give him.

“That’ll do,” he smirked when they pulled way, breathless. It made Drew smile at him.

“You’re too cute,” he said, and then left.

Ryan let out a deep breath and then two others in a bid to calm himself and his arousal. He had to admit, he was thankful Drew hadn’t yet ventured toward that part of their “arrangement” in the last two weeks, even though Ryan was aching to be touched there. He simply wasn’t ready for that, and besides, Drew was straight. There was no way he was going to go any further with Ryan.

Shaking his head, Ryan calmed himself before leaving the bathroom with his bag hanging over his shoulder after making sure he looked like he hadn’t spent the last thirty minutes kissing his best friend’s crush, and then went to the cafeteria to find said best friend.

Nora and Ruxie were seated at their usual table in the middle of the cafeteria when Ryan arrived and they quickly waved him over with anxious expressions which made Ryan wonder just what the two were up to.

“You guys are plotting something,” he stated when he sat down, his eyes narrowed at the two. “Tell me.”

“You first!” Ruxie exclaimed. Ryan gasped, caught off guard by their instant reaction.

“Oh so it has to do with you,” Ryan smiled at his friend. “Come on, tell me!!” He insisted as he leaned on the table, resting his chin on his hands as he smiled widely. If Ruxie wasn’t dark in complexion, Ryan was sure they would have been red all over.

“They want to ask someone out!” Nora exclaimed before Ruxie could get the chance to do so which made them roll their eyes.

“Yeah, that’s the gist.”

“Wait, what? Aren’t you with Alex?” Ryan questioned.

“Oh, that’s over,” said Ruxie, dismissing the name with a wave of their hand.

“What? When?”

“Uh… remember that night you blew us off for Dan?” Nora asked.

“Huh?” Ryan frowned. “When did I- oh,” his lips closed on their own when he realized what time Nora was referring to. “Wait, that long ago? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ruxie shook their head. “I didn’t wanna bother you. You were anxious about hanging with your stepdad, and frankly, you’ve been pretty nervous since then so I didn’t wanna add to that,” they explained.

Ryan pursed his lips, guilt and sadness eating at him from his core. “I’m sorry,” he apologized because he felt he owed them that, both Ruxie and Nora. He knew they’d say he didn’t have to apologize, but they had no idea why he had been acting differently since that day.

“It’s okay, Ry,” Ruxie smiled at him.

“So who’s this new person?”

“His name is Lorien, he’s in our chem class and is really cute. I think he might be into me but I don’t know for sure.”

“And I think they should say hi and make a move,” Nora interjected.

“I’m with Nora, what’s the worst that could happen?” Ryan added, fist bumping his friend.

“Uh… what if he rejects me?”

“His loss!” Nora and Ryan both said at the same time, making the entire trio burst into laughter. Ryan felt so good being able to laugh with his friends like this. For some reason, it felt like it had been so long since he did this with them. And he knew it was all because of his sneaking around with Drew, as if he was living a second life. But at least, when he and his friends were able to laugh and joke around like this, he was able to forget about that part of his life.

As they ate, his eyes scanned the cafeteria and through no fault of his, Ryan’s eyes met Drew’s who seemed to have been watching his table for a while and smiled when the boy winked at him from afar.

“Oh my god! Did you see that?” Exclaimed Nora.

“What?” Both Ryan and Ruxie asked, turning to their friend.

“Drew just winked at me.”

“What!” this was Ruxie. “That’s insane. How did you even see that?” They asked as they turned around to look at Drew’s table and back again.

“I don’t know but he did!” Nora was excited as she smile widely at the thought of her crush noticing her. “I’m not gonna lie, but I really do think Drew likes me and I want to ask him out.”

“Go for it!” Ruxie immediately said.

“You think so?”

“Fuck yeah! And honestly, I know you’re scared but so am I,” Stated Ruxie. “If you’re all for me talking to Lorien, then I think you should speak to Drew too! Say I’m right, Ryan.” The two turned to Ryan who looked at them with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

“Tell her she has to speak to Drew if she’s telling me to talk to Lorien,” Ruxie stated more clearly for Ryan, though with narrowed eyes as they wondered why the blond boy looked so out of it.

“Oh,” Ryan nodded. “Uh… yeah… you should,” he said slowly as if his mind was still trying to making sense of what was happening. And frankly, it was. On such notice, Ryan was realizing that his arrangement with Drew was going to end much sooner than he thought it would.

“Okay,” Nora said, breathing in and out dramatically. “Let’s go to Rollies today, I heard from Zane that Drew will be working today.”

“You talk to Zane?” Ryan frowned. How was Nora able to get close enough to one of Drew’s friends so easily.

“Well, not exactly. One of the girls from P.E’s brother is friends with Zane and she heard them talk about pranking him later today or something.”

Oh, Ryan sighed outwardly, and then played it off when Nora stared at him with a pointed look. Stop fucking acting out! He told himself. He couldn’t let out his secret so soon. And especially not when Nora was ready to make a move on the man Ryan loved.

“Let’s go then,” said Ruxie. “If you talk to him, I’ll say hi to Lorien tomorrow.”

Nora smiled at that and from the look in her eyes, Ryan knew that his entire world was going to crash and burn. He could see it so clearly now, as if he was looking up at a meteor coming down toward the earth’s surface and there was nothing he could do about it. Two weeks was such a short time and he hated that he couldn’t have spent much time with Drew as much as he thought he would.

He hated knowing that either way, whether Nora spoke to Drew first or vice versa, he was going to get heartbroken.