The door to Xavier's apartment is rust brown. A bronze plate above the peephole carries the number two. I knock once, and a guy opens the door. His cyan blouse is unbuttoned, revealing a hairy torso. He looks over his shoulder and says, "Did any of you ladies buy a cute redhead for tonight?" A hazy cloud of smoke leaks outside, and even though I haven't entered yet, I'm already finding it hard to breathe. Xavier appears behind the foreign man, a scowl on his lips as if to say, 'What are you doing here?'

"Mum gave me your address, and I wanted to discuss something with you."

Xavier places a hand on his scraggly-haired friend's back. "Why don't you go back to the party?"

The stranger looks from me to Xavier, shrugs, and then returns to people who greet him with loud cheers. Xavier meets me in the hallway and closes the door behind him. A bored expression consumes his visage. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Us."

He smiles and touches my chin. "What about us?" Xavier then tugs my lips apart and runs his thumb over my teeth as if he's thinking about kissing me.

We need to end the game we have been playing for years, but my throat closes before I can say anything. Xavier's chalk-white shirt is buttoned halfway; fine blonde hair covers his chest. The worst part of trying to break up with him is I want him to fuck me. I want to feel his pulse. And I want to be nothing more than a wet, steaming mess when he's done.

These dirty thoughts won't help me to walk away from our relationship. To regain control, I need to leave and clear my mind before I can have a proper conversation. "You're busy tonight, so maybe I'll stop by some other time."

"Stay."

The one word runs through me, mixing with the blood that fills my veins, and my body stiffens in response.

Xavier leans against the door and reaches behind him to twist the knob. The door opens. Dim white light sprinkles across a purple carpet. Men and women gather by the sofa in his living room, more than a dozen glasses of alcohol spread out on the glass table in front of them. When one of the guests, a young woman whose breasts are barely restrained by the low neck of her dress, calls to me, Xavier says, "He's not here for you."

He holds my hand and leads me down a short corridor before pushing me into a room. "Wait here." The door locks, and I'm alone. I hear Xavier's steps as he rejoins his guests. His laugh tickles my insides as I realize he still sees my existence as some dirty secret he has to hide. I investigate his room, trying to figure out how he has changed since we last met.

A bulb glows dimly beneath a glass dome over my head, and the walls are a lighter shade of purple than the carpet outside. The floor is made of sturdy wood that doesn't creak while I pace. On his dresser, I find the blue opal stone I had given him on his fifth birthday. I remember how he had scowled at his present and placed it on the table without any trace of being interested in keeping it. But he has held onto it much longer than any other present. I run my finger over the smooth stone with an appreciative smile.

Outside, one of the guests tells a raucous story about a woman named Lillia, who likes to spend time with a man named Mania. She spreads her legs, and the man puts his dick inna her; she cries so loud they can hear her in Manillia.

I hear the low rumble of Xavier's laughter. I lie on his lilac comforter, waiting for him to return so we can talk.

***

It is well after midnight when he enters the room. I'm sleeping when I feel Xavier's hand slide under my shirt and rub my abdomen before unbuckling my trousers. I open my eyes, and he looms over me.

Alcohol sours his breath and stings my nostrils.

I place a hand on his chest. "Stop."

"Shut it." He draws my pants and trousers down. "You owe me, so don't complain and give me what I want." Xavier bends, kisses my pelvis and against my better judgement, I knot my fingers in his hair. I close my eyes as he takes my penis into his mouth.

***

When Xavier finishes, he collapses next to me, grunting as he sleeps naked.

I borrow his shower to get rid of the saliva and semen that stains my skin before changing back into my clothes.

I go out into the hall and notice I'm not alone. People lie on the floor, chests rising and falling as they snooze on Xavier's lush carpet. I move as quietly as I can to the door, so I don't wake them.

***

Once I get home, there's a heaviness in my chest. While Xavier can be sweet, his personality can quickly flip, and he'll try to hurt me. Instead of pushing my key inside the lock, I sit on the porch and watch the street. A few cars trickle past, and nurses rush to the bus stop in their long, flowing scrubs. I can't bring myself to enter my home because if I run into Blake, he'll take one look at me and know what I have done.

So, I sit on my porch with no way of keeping track of time, but I feel it passing with every cool breeze that brushes my skin. Cold leaks into my pores though I pay little attention to it.

I don't think Xavier will let me break up with him.

I remember the cold look on his face as he stuffed his penis into me earlier in the night. He didn't stop even when I begged him. He just continued till he orgasmed as if my opinion didn't matter.

When my arse starts to hurt from sitting on the hard ground, the door creaks behind me, and a blanket falls on my head. I sense Blake standing behind me before I feel his hands slide under my thighs and back as he picks me up and carries me inside. He gently sets me down on the ground, and I hear a soft click as the door shuts.

"You're late," he says, rubbing the blanket against my hair.

Since it blocks my view, I lower his present and wear it on my shoulders. "I-"

I can't think of what to tell him. I wanted to see a guy who had tried to kill me earlier in the week? No, Blake would kill me himself if he heard I went to see Xavier after that. Tears prick my eyes as he observes me.

"What happened?" he asks.

"You'll be mad."

"I won't. I promise." Blake holds out his pinky, and I interlock it with mine.

"I went to see Xavier."

Blake grits his teeth and inhales sharply before nodding. "Go on."

"I was at the pool earlier the week, and he tried to drown me.... It took me a moment to understand what was happening, and I started kicking and fighting back. But I inhaled so much water while trying to escape; I ended up in the hospital. Xavier keeps reminding me that when we were kids, we promised to go to hell together, and I guess he wants to make sure it happens before I betray him again. But even though he says that, I think a part of him doesn't want to kill me. We may be able to heal if we talk things over."

"If he tries to approach you again, let me know, and I'll deal with it."

"You don't have to."

"I do have to, because every time I leave you with him, you come back to me a little more broken than before." Blake pulls me into a tight, stuffy hug. His muscles pin me to him. "All you need to do is stay away from him."

"I'm not sure if he'll let me."

"I'll figure something out, I promise."

"You make too many promises. That's what gets you into trouble."

Blake presses his cheek against mine, and I hear him smile; his breath rushes out as his lips twist. He rubs my back, letting me know he is always on my side.

***

After I cried till my eyes swelled, Blake and I lay together in my bed. His arm is pinned beneath my side, but he doesn't complain. He lets me rest my head on his warm, comforting chest while his fingers tangle my hair. We're both quiet as we try to fall asleep, knowing the sun will rise in two hours and we'll have to get ready to open the shop with less than the recommended amount of sleep. As the silence consumes us and weighs down our eyelids with drowsiness, I decide to use the new day I have been given to finally end things with Xavier.

***