Min stared at the car keys Joon-woo had left behind, contemplating what his best friend had said before he left. When did that lunatic even find the time to look into Yi-an’s schedule? Min bit his lip as he glanced at his watch. It was already 1:15 a.m; would Yi-an still be at GOLD Entertainment…? Rather, did he even have the right to see Yi-an? Min shook his head at his absurd thoughts and picked up his car keys. What was he thinking? He had to join his grandfather for the ancestral rites, obviously. 

Yet, Min's feet were firmly planted to the floor of his office. The heir couldn’t bear to go to his grandfather’s home. It was already hard enough with his recurring nightmares; Min wasn’t sure he could face his deceased family and commemorate their deaths. But that also didn’t mean he wanted to go to his place where he’d be all alone on the most lonesome day of the year.

“I thought I finally had a place to return to… Guess that was wishful thinking on my part.” 

Min dryly chuckled as he trudged out of the office and into the waiting elevator. Pressing on the button for the underground garage, the heir leaned against the stainless steel rail, deep in thought. He should have just stayed in the Canadian branch and defied his grandfather’s orders to return. 

A dull ache throbbed against his chest as Yi-an’s face flashed before Min’s eyes. He looked so happy and hopeful… Like he had been waiting for him this entire time. The sudden ding of the elevator jolted him away from his thoughts as he hastily exited onto the underground garage. The more he continued to think about Yi-an, the more Min felt like he was going insane. 

Getting into his car, he peeled out of the empty garage and onto the busy streets of Gangnam. He just needed some much needed rest; then maybe this ridiculous thought of his would disappear. As he waited for the lights to change, Min glanced up when he felt his heart falter at the words flashing before him. 

Playing on Seoul’s biggest billboard screen was Yi-an’s interview for his new title track, “You.” The bold captions that ran on the bottom read, 

“This song is dedicated to my best friend and first love.” 

~~~

Yi-an flicked on the lights to the basement practice room, where a small picture frame stood in the corner of the room. He hesitated, his heart palpitating loudly against his rib cage. Don’t cry! You said you’d smile in front of Min hyung this time. The idol singer slowly made his way to the small pile of white chrysanthemums laid before the picture frame. 

The singer gritted his teeth at the sorry-looking “altar”– it looked more like a last-minute attempt to remember the former trainee. Well, then again, what else could they do? No one knew where Min was laid to rest. His family had refused to invite anyone from the entertainment company, stating that it was a private funeral only for family members and close friends. 

The idol glanced around the dingy, abandoned practice room. He and Min had been friends for eight years, yet this room was the only place left where they had spent most of their childhood together. Their favorite snack shops were long gone, and the remaining ones had all remodeled their stores, leaving no trace of the pair’s nostalgic past. 

The slight rustle of the flower bouquet in Yi-an’s arms echoed in the stillness of the room. Yi-an paused in his footsteps as his dark brown eyes glistened with unshed tears. He had thought he would be okay and get through this with a happy smile. Yet, the minute he laid eyes on Min’s smiling face in the picture, his resolve broke down in a matter of seconds. 

Collapsing onto the floor, Yi-an clutched at his chest, mourning for Min’s death again. Why did it always hurt so much to remember him? Yi-an pounded a fist at his chest, desperate to get rid of the stuffy feeling that seemingly grew worse the more he sobbed. 

“I’m sorry, hyung… I wasn’t going to cry this year, but… I just can’t control it.” Yi-an whimpered as he shakily picked up Min’s photo from his trainee days and held it close to his heart.

“I released a song dedicated to you because I think… I think it’s time I finally let you go. I….” 

~~~

Min stared at the entertainment agency for a moment, his heart almost bursting with adrenaline, before slipping through the unlocked doors. The heir paused and glanced around the lobby. There was no one in the agency– not even a security guard to watch over the building. 

To be honest, Min didn’t know why he had been so desperate to see Yi-an. What had he wanted to confirm with the singer so badly…? 

Scoffing at himself, Min shook his head at his absurd behavior. What in the world was he doing, barging into someone else’s company to look for Yi-an? That moment of clarity was all Min needed to turn back around when he heard a small, muffled cry. 

Slowly, he glanced at the stairs leading to the basement practice room. With each step he took towards the basement, Min could hear the soft, agonized sobs resounding along the walls of the short corridor. The heir was almost to the practice room when Yi-an’s whimpered cries rang clearly in his ears.

“... I love you, hyung.”

Min felt his knees buckle as he leaned against the wall next to him. What…? His heart thundered against his chest while Yi-an’s words echoed like waves inside his head. Stumbling closer, Min glimpsed into the room from the doorway, his eyes wide with confusion. Yi-an was bawling his eyes out while clutching a picture of the heir tightly in his arms.

“I’m Yi-an’s first love…?”