To the mouth that does not deceive: the given kisses
Feels the blush, lifts the shining eyes to the light. Shyly upwards, and with heaven at once sees the beloved".
I finished the book and put it in my pocket. Then I picked up the watering can one last time and watered the flowers.
I could already see the first buds opening.
"So, Grandma, it's time again. I need to go," I say goodbye to her with a sad smile on my lips.
I bend down once more to her gravestone. I stroke the picture and kiss it gently.
It was strange.
Even though we had expected her death.
I had hoped that she would make it to my graduation.
"She really was a lovely old lady."
Confused, I turn to the unfamiliar male voice that had snapped me out of my thoughts.
Standing in front of me is a rather attractive man. Too attractive for my taste, especially for this town.
"If I frightened you, I'm terribly sorry".
"And who are you?" I ask him seriously.
"I was one of the doctors."
A doctor then.
Then a doctor who supposedly treated my grandmother. I didn't know anything about this until now.
The situation seems far too suspicious for me.
"Have we met before?" I ask him, mentally going through all the doctors and nurses.
He waves me off.
He smiles and looks at me with his almost grey eyes.
For a moment, I am not gripped by this unease, but by another feeling.
One that I can't really categorise and don't really know.
No, it is much more than just one feeling.
Hate, envy, joy, anger - all these emotions cover me like a veil.
They are almost unbearable and they restrict me.
Why am I feeling all this?
Why does the sight of him make me feel this way?
I don't even know him.
If the sight of him triggers this, what should I do if he touches me?
"It's all right. It's something familiar," I lie to him, so he doesn't bother me with medical lectures.
"Does this happen often?" he asks anyway.
Typical doctor.
"I think I made myself quite clear," I reply caustically.
Of course, he is not very enthusiastic about my answer and would prefer to admit me directly. I can tell by the look on his face, but his hands are tied.
As long as I can fight off this flood of emotions, he won't see me on the couch.
"Take care of your health," he replies, trying to stop me from almost falling over.
Unsuccessfully, of course, as I manage to do it faster than he does, successfully avoiding physical contact once again.
The strange flood of emotions ebbs away.
"Good Dr Meros, have a nice day."
He raises his eyebrows in surprise and just as quickly puts his hand back in his pocket.
I am not usually so rude to strangers. But he is an exception for me.
An exception I won't see again anyway, I hope.
"It's too early to confess."
"I beg your pardon?" I ask him, confused.
"Have a nice day," he replies, grinning wryly with a hint of arrogance.
I avoid eye contact and hurry to my bike.
His piercing gaze, however, lingers longer than I would like.
If he wasn't a doctor, he'd be the perfect psychopath with the perfect face.
My phone vibrates.
"Mum?"
"Asta, where are you?"
"I'm still in town"
"OK, well hurry," she replies.
With these words I quickly hang up.
Lying to her and doing business behind her back is not my style. But this is about my grandmother and her mother.
I really wonder what must have happened between them to make them so estranged.
No, more like, why has my mother distanced herself from her?!
20 minutes later
"Ewin, you do the kitchen sales, Lauren, the living room sales and Asta, the study sales".
We nod dutifully in agreement with my mother's division of labour. Although I'm not entirely happy with her division of labour.
"Ewin, you do the kitchen sales, Lauren, the living room sales and Asta, the study sales".
As she decrees, the three of us move in the direction of our destinations.
"Asta"
Just as I am about to take the stairs up to the study, my brother Ewin stops me.
"Yes" I reply confused as he does a strange dance of his facial expressions in front of me.
"Huh?"
He lowers his gaze, shakes his head and slaps his forehead almost painfully.
"Ah, just forget it," he retorts, hastily turning away from me.
"You can't insult my intelligence and then leave like nothing's wrong. Stand still."
I hate it like the plague when he acts on Mauer.
Ewin can be so stubborn!
Eventually I do manage to catch him by his arm.
Of course, the mister doesn't react. He doesn't even give me a glance.
Which is not directly due to his personality, but rather to his everyday professional life as a trainee doctor.
It's easier to forgive than someone who studied economics.
Why didn't he just train as a secret agent?
Then he would be happier and so would we.
"If you want to grab something then just do it. I'll help you cover it up, I promise."
Oh, my God. Is that what I'm hearing? Or am I just imagining it?
Him of all people?
"You don't have to look at me so suspiciously!
When I give my word, I keep it".
He's right. It's the only thing about him that doesn't change from day to day.
I nod. At the same time he lets go of me and I do something he usually can't stand.
I hug him.
"I owe you," I tell him.
"I know, and you'll have to pay me back next time," he replies with a cheeky grin and then disappears too.
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