Read The whisper of the forgotten God :: Chapter 4 I will only owe him if I steal something. But not like that.

Chapter 4

I will only owe him if I steal something. But not like that.

4 days later.....

"Words of thanks to the kind Venus! At last he unites
To the mouth that does not deceive: the given kisses
Feels the blush, lifts the shining eyes to the light. Shyly upwards, and with heaven at once sees the beloved".

I finished the book and put it in my pocket. Then I picked up the watering can one last time and watered the flowers. I could already see the first buds opening.

As I watered the flowers one last time, the weight of my grandmother's absence settled upon me like a heavy shroud. Each droplet that fell from the watering can felt like a tear shed for the memories we shared and the ones we would never create.

"So, Grandma, it's time again. I need to go," I say goodbye to her with a sad smile on my lips.

I bend down once more to her gravestone. I stroke the picture and kiss it gently.
It was strange.
Even though we had expected her death.
I had hoped that she would make it to my graduation.

"She really was a lovely old lady."

A voice breaks through the silence, pulling me from my reverie. I turn to face a stranger, his presence both comforting and unsettling in equal measure. His words hang in the air, a reminder of the fragility of life and the inevitability of change.

Standing in front of me is a rather attractive man. Too attractive for my taste, especially for this town.
"If I frightened you, I'm terribly sorry".
"And who are you?" I ask him seriously.
"I was one of the doctors."
A doctor then.
Then a doctor who supposedly treated my grandmother. I didn't know anything about this until now.
The situation seems far too suspicious for me.
"Have we met before?" I ask him, mentally going through all the doctors and nurses.
He waves me off.
He smiles and looks at me with his almost grey eyes.
For a moment, I am not gripped by this unease, but by another feeling.
One that I can't really categorise and don't really know.
No, it is much more than just one feeling.

Hate, envy, joy, anger—each emotion crashes against me like waves against the shore, threatening to drown me in their tumultuous depths. I struggle to make sense of this barrage of feelings, each one vying for dominance within the confines of my troubled mind.

Why am I feeling all this?
Why does the sight of him make me feel this way?
I don't even know him.

I struggled to hold on to the tombstone.

In keeping with his profession, he naturally came to my aid.

"Are you all right?" he asks me with his right hand, stopping him so that he can't touch me.
If the sight of him triggers this, what should I do if he touches me?
"It's all right. It's something familiar," I lie to him, so he doesn't bother me with medical lectures.
"Does this happen often?" he asks anyway.
Typical doctor.
"I think I made myself quite clear," I reply caustically.
Of course, he is not very enthusiastic about my answer and would prefer to admit me directly. I can tell by the look on his face, but his hands are tied.
As long as I can fight off this flood of emotions, he won't see me on the couch.
"Take care of your health," he replies, trying to stop me from almost falling over.
Unsuccessfully, of course, as I manage to do it faster than he does, successfully avoiding physical contact once again.
The strange flood of emotions ebbs away.

"What was her name again?"

"Dr Lewin Meros," he shakes my hand.
"Good Dr Meros, have a nice day."
He raises his eyebrows in surprise and just as quickly puts his hand back in his pocket.
I am not usually so rude to strangers. But he is an exception for me.
An exception I won't see again anyway, I hope.
"It's too early to confess."
"I beg your pardon?" I ask him, confused.
"Have a nice day," he replies, grinning wryly with a hint of arrogance.
I avoid eye contact and hurry to my bike.
His piercing gaze, however, lingers longer than I would like.
If he wasn't a doctor, he'd be the perfect psychopath with the perfect face.
My phone vibrates.
"Mum?"
"Asta, where are you?"

My mother's voice pulls me back to reality, a stark reminder of the secrets and tensions that simmer beneath the surface of our family. With practiced ease, I bury my own doubts and fears, donning the mask of compliance as we prepare to carry out her wishes.

"I'm still in town"
"OK, well hurry," she replies.
With these words I quickly hang up.
Lying to her and doing business behind her back is not my style. But this is about my grandmother and her mother.
I really wonder what must have happened between them to make them so estranged.
No, more like, why has my mother distanced herself from her?!

20 minutes later

"Ewin, you do the kitchen sales, Lauren, the living room sales and Asta, the study sales".
We nod dutifully in agreement with my mother's division of labour. Although I'm not entirely happy with her division of labour.
"Ewin, you do the kitchen sales, Lauren, the living room sales and Asta, the study sales".

We nod dutifully in sync with my mother's division of labour.

Although I'm not entirely happy with her division.

"And remember one thing, everything has to go! We don't keep anything from this house!

What is not sold will be donated, understand?", at this she looks at me especially long meaningfully as well as sternly.

She knows very well that I would prefer to leave everything as it was in my grandmother's time.

But no, as a daughter she has more freedom of choice than a granddaughter.

I just don't understand her and, to be honest, I don't want to.
As she decrees, the three of us move in the direction of our destinations.
"Asta"
Just as I am about to take the stairs up to the study, my brother Ewin stops me.
"Yes" I reply confused as he does a strange dance of his facial expressions in front of me.
"Huh?"
He lowers his gaze, shakes his head and slaps his forehead almost painfully.
"Ah, just forget it," he retorts, hastily turning away from me.
"You can't insult my intelligence and then leave like nothing's wrong. Stand still."
I hate it like the plague when he acts on Mauer.
Ewin can be so stubborn!
Eventually I do manage to catch him by his arm.
Of course, the mister doesn't react. He doesn't even give me a glance.

Only because once again I didn't understand his monkey business.

And I never will!

How I hate it!

That's why I like my brother Lauren more than him.

Even though Lauren has his phases much more often than he does.
Which is not directly due to his personality, but rather to his everyday professional life as a trainee doctor.
It's easier to forgive than someone who studied economics.

As if out of the blue, I am pulled aside by Ewin.

Before I can protest, he holds his hand in front of my mouth.

"Shh, now listen!" he whispers.
Why didn't he just train as a secret agent?
Then he would be happier and so would we.
"If you want to grab something then just do it. I'll help you cover it up, I promise."
Oh, my God. Is that what I'm hearing? Or am I just imagining it?

Ewin really wants to help me? Him of all people?

Ewin's unexpected offer catches me off guard, his words a stark contrast to the betrayal I had felt only days before. Despite my skepticism, a glimmer of gratitude flickers within me, a reminder that even in our darkest moments, family can still offer solace and support.

"You don't have to look at me so suspiciously!
When I give my word, I keep it".
He's right. It's the only thing about him that doesn't change from day to day.
I nod. At the same time he lets go of me and I do something he usually can't stand.
I hug him.
"I owe you," I tell him.
"I know, and you'll have to pay me back next time," he replies with a cheeky grin and then disappears too.

As Ewin disappears from view, I am left to grapple with his offer, torn between the desire for closure and the reluctance to betray my grandmother's memory. In the end, I know that I cannot repay his kindness with deceit, no matter how tempting the offer may be.

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