“Morning Hasegawa senpai~” 

“Good morning senpai”

Almost everyone greets Ren when he walks across the freshman corridor before the first bell rang. Just like the second year’s corridor on one floor above, the cute juniors with their neat uniforms and fresh facial expressions still mingle and chit-chat by the window in front of their classrooms. 

Ren greets them back with his friendly smile. Despite being a senior - the popular one at that - Ren never used his seniority against the freshman and treated them equally as friends, that’s why the juniors also see him as a brother figure rather than a scary senior.

Approaching the second classroom, Ren stands by the door and peeks inside. The bustling classrooms suddenly grow silent and swivelling their heads toward the door in unison. Ren looks on his back, afraid the teacher has come behind him but he finds no one and later he knows the reason why they’re all frozen by the passing whispers buzzing in the thin air.

“Oh my gosh! Isn’t that Hasegawa senpai? What is he doing here early in the morning?”

“Geez, would you look at his morning face? How can someone look so bright in the morning of the damn school days?”

“Shhh…he can hear you, dumbass! But I couldn’t agree more! Should we confess to him again today?”

“What? You don’t know? The rumour said he had accepted someone from our class”

“Holly shit! Who????”

“I’m sorry to intrude in your class but does anyone see Yui-Chan?” Ren grimaces apologetically after his eyes failed to find the girl who usually styled her long hair into two cute braids.

“I didn’t hear it wrong, right? He called her by her first name right?”

“The rumour is true!”

“This can’t be true!”

Ren shrinks back, regretting coming here and attracting unnecessary attention, he’s afraid will get Yui into trouble because of his sudden visit to her class. He doesn’t expect would create a ruckus like this.

“Ren senpai?” A high-pitched voice brings Ren’s mind back. He looks over his shoulder and finally finds the girl he’s been looking for. “What are you doing here? Ah, Are you asking for your swimming time record from last week? Wait a minute I-”

“Ah no! Not that.” Ren shows her the bento container she gave him yesterday. “Mind having breakfast with me?”

Yui’s pupils dilated inside her round eyes, her small lips agape before she shakes her own head while muttering something incoherent to herself. She beams at Ren shortly thereafter. “Let’s go senpai!”

The light and fresh scent of the spring morning dew filled the air of the backyard garden. Featuring the singing of the spring cricket and soft purl from the Koi pond nowhere can beat the tranquillity of the garden, especially near the Koi pond where Ren usually spent his time before the class started.

The rickety gazebo is a bit damp so Ren needs to use his handkerchief before letting Yui sit on his side. “Yui, thanks for the birthday gift you gave me yesterday,” Ren starts, dangling his feet above the pond. “I’d feel bad if I returned the container empty so I made a simple breakfast. I hope this will suit your taste.”

“Whoa~” Yui exclaims in amazement when she sees a grilled onigiri with vegetables, tuna and mayo inside. “Senpai you made this? This looks like a cafe-made! Ugh…I can’t believe I was so confident in baking you a bare minimum of brownies when you cook better than me.” She whines while covering her flushed face under her palms.

Taking one of the triangular golden brown onigiri with tissue and handing it to Yui, Ren smiles. “Don’t discredit yourself. I would eat them no matter how they taste in the end.”

“Ah, so it tasted bad then?” Yui almost squeals, her face redden. 

Her cute expression triggers Ren’s laughter. “That’s not what I mean. It tasted amazing. However, the taste aside, I’m truly grateful for the gesture alone. You may not believe this Yui, but you were the only person who remembers my birthday - except my mother of course.”

“Ah…” Yui pauses, she seems not to buy it at first but after leaking at Ren’s woeful face between her fingers, Yui slowly trails. “But how could that be? Everyone likes you and you have a lot of friends.”

“I do,” Ren admits. “But we are not in the depth where they know my birthday, I supposed? Well, anyway that’s the truth. You don’t know how thankful I was for your attentiveness in spite of the fact that I couldn't return your sincere feeling.” Averting his gaze down to see the Koi swimming energetically under his feet, Ren smiles bitterly. “You even keep my secret safe. I don’t know how to pay this debt to you.”

“Senpai!” Yui screams, accidentally spluttering the rice she chewed, yet she hardly cares. “Debt? What no sense are you talking about?! I was the one who owed you. As you know I don’t have a strong physic so I couldn’t join any sports club and was not smart enough to join a science or maths club. I don’t have talent in anything, but you helped me join the swimming club as a manager, I know you put a good word to the coach.” Now it’s Yui whose eyes are fixated on the Koi.

“I barely do anything, though.” Ren feigns ignorance as he wraps his onigiri share with the tissue and opens the fish feed bag he stores on the gazebo. Throwing the flakes into the pond, where the colourful Kois gathered. “Our school needs to have a cooking club. I don’t understand why the school is so obsessed with the sports and science olympiad. Students’ talent is not limited to those fields only. Right?” Ren glances at Yui, who answers him with a grateful smile.

“Still…even if there's a club I was interested in, I would still ask to be the swimming team manager, no matter what!” She clenched her palms into fists while setting fire to her face. However, in a split second, she drops her shoulders again. “I’m sorry for taking Senpai's help and kindness for granted though. I even burden you with my feelings.”

“You don’t need to apologise for something you have no control over, Yui. I’ve been told a lot that my gesture kinda leads people to misunderstand. So, I took part in this as well.” 

“But senpai,” Yui murmurs, barely a whisper. Hesitantly glances at Ren. “Isn’t it hard? To hide part of you from people - basically from the whole world? I…” Yui pauses, hesitant. “I can’t imagine how lonely it could be - to be surrounded by friends but…have no one to talk to…” She carefully threads.

Yui’s sudden change of topic caught Ren on the hop. This is the first time he openly talks about this with someone else. However, seeing Koi’s graceful swim beneath the placid water somehow calms Ren down. “I would be lying if I said this wasn't hard; feeling lonely aside. The guilt and shame for keeping secrets from people I genuinely think of as friends are sometimes unbearable.”

“The friend you mean is Tatsuya senpai?” Yui refers to Haruki, one of Ren’s classmates who she also knew went to the same middle school as Ren.

“Yeah, Haruki was a good buddy of mine. We were so close back then that I thought he would be the first person whom I told my secret to. Who knows the person would be you.” Ren smiles at Yui when he finds a dot of nori sticks on Yui’s upper lips, making it look like a mole on her. “I’m lying to him. I’m deceiving him. He might never imagine his best friend in middle school would become the biggest fake who pretends to be nice to everyone,” Ren covers half of his lower face with his palm, eyes shaking. “Beside Haruki, there’s a lot of good guys around me - the ones who never took advantage of me; Yuuta, Masao, Asahi, Benji. Yet, I still deceived them. I was so obsessed with being accepted, I don’t know which one is real and which is not…”

“Senpai!” Yui shouts while tugging on Ren’s sleeves hard. Keeping his hand away from his distressed face. “That’s not true! You are not fake! You are just naturally a nice person! Did you pretend to help me back then? I don’t think so, you are not even turning your back on me even though I acted like other girls and bother you with my feelings, you even entrust your secret to me! While it may be true you had to act in front of some people, I don’t think the real you is much the opposite of the one you show to me right now. Please don't be too hard on yourself, senpai.”

“Yui, you are seriously good at encouraging people, our team is lucky to have you as a manager” Ren grins at her.

However, Yui feels Ren is just avoiding the main topic. “Hasegawa-San!” She calls him with high formality, affirming how serious she is. Ren can’t help but be stunned. “Don’t worry too much! Rather than feel guilty over your secret and keep your distance. How about focusing on how you’ll be able to make up in case - just in case you get into a fight when the secret comes out? I think coming up with excuses so people can understand where you are coming from is not the wrong thing. Even if it's impossible right now, I’m sure the time will come someday.” 

For a few seconds later, Ren can only stare at Yui in amazement. There was not a single doubt crossing her eyes when she said that. If anything, she’s so pumped up that her nostril flares - she has so much faith in her words and in Ren who doubts if he deserved this. To think a girl younger than him and most likely never had the same problem with him turns out to be more mature than him, Ren feels ashamed but also grateful that he chooses Yui to be the first one who hears his secret.

“Alright. I’ll start to think how I will explain myself once he finds out.” Ren takes a deep breath of the dew mixed with acacia scent and nudges Yui's shoulder gently with his. “Thanks, Yui. I’m not sure about me being a nice person, but I’m sure you are the sweetest.”

Yui blushed scarlet with Ren’s compliment. “Senpai! You shouldn’t say something like that so casually!.” she clears her throat and looks away. “Anyway! Don’t worry! Whatever happened, I’ll be on your side!”

⚠️ P.S. Grilled Onigiri~