Evil is magic on its own. Evil is the taste that pricks your tongue at the climax of greedy lust, irrational outreach, and raw rage. To some, it feels good. The taste of evil on their tongue tasted like liquid silver. Disgusting, but if you shift your mind correctly, it can taste sweet enough.

The night I chugged another bottle of sleeping pills, that didn´t taste evil. I don´t believe that to be ill. I see that as naked vulnerability. Evil is the force that takes such a feeling and plunges deeper into the earth.

Evil grabs you by the throat, sinks its tongue in your eyes, and controls your every step. Only if you let it. One small ¨evil¨ act can turn into the most senile act of the century if you allow it. Evil turns man against man. Evil convinces god against angels. Evil convinces the devil against his being. Evil is a thirsty source. He will never be satisfied. At least we have that in common.

Evil has many faces. In my case, my evil comes alive through love. I can only love you if I learn to hurt you. If I do not let my evil rake your skin, then I will drive myself insane.

But, I suppose a lot about me is a bit insane. But insanity is not what defines the beheld, it is what fuels it. You can either let evil empower you, or chain you to the ground.

¨A bit disturbing, a bit cool.¨ That´s how he describes evil. Or, how he did describe it. Whether evil latches on to you doesn't matter if you were already a good or a bad person before it found you.

I played soccer in High School, I graduated second to the top of my class in college. I was just like every other kid there. Surviving on ramen packs, and walking around with bags under my eyes just as long as the expectations were at that college.

I would've been top if it weren't for him. It had become a joking rivalry. It was natural, knowing how you´ve been my all my life. After that, we spent the rest of our lives together. Fast forward, 1 year later we are looking at adopting.

You´d ask, ¨Do you think the baby will have your wiry, green eyes? Or my brown ones?¨

¨Woah!¨ I would say. ¨We only went on our second date last week, calm down.¨

Well, I guess, to be fair, that was only when were young lovers. God, we were independent, smart, guys who had found each other. You were all I had ever wanted, and I was everything you needed. That was when we were some crazy kids. In only our 20´s. Managing earning big degrees in the day, but then loving each other at night. God, I remember how dramatic things seemed then.

Even only a couple of nights ago, 5 goddamn years later, we still talked and talked about this baby. One we never could have. We were going to name her Dani. Little Dani, she was going to be ours.

I went to bed that night, with you in my arms. As you always were. Always would be. Or so I had thought. Never did I ever think that when I leaned down to ruffle your hair in a half-asleep mindset, I would be met with a damn knife in my chest.