You give, you give me empty promises of love 

You're an honest man when you're drunk 

But it's killin' me to wonder 

How long? 

How long? 

• How Long By Tove Lo

Nine made his way home, texting Vee as he walked toward his front door. When he entered, he noticed Quin sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of alcohol. He clicked his tongue, pocketing his phone in annoyance. 

"Quin, what are you drinking?" Nine asked. He grabbed the drink from Quin, moving it to the farther part of the table. Quin didn't fight when Nine took his glass from him. 

"We need to talk." Quin started, ignoring Nine's question. 

Nine sat down, "About what? What's wrong?" 

"I know you are cheating." Quin did not want to hold back. He thought it was best to peel off the bandage quickly. 

Nine froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights; he did not know what to say or do. Every word was caught in his throat, making him suffocate. How does he know? Did I fuck up? Wait, I did, so what do I do? What the hell do I say? 

After a few minutes passed with no one saying anything, Nine finally grabbed Quin's hand. "I'm sorry." He softly apologized, not knowing what he should say. 

Quin looked at their hands, and Nine stared at Quin, gnawing at his bottom lip. Nine felt too anxious. Although they hadn't started yelling yet, he knew things might boil over, and their arguments would have started soon. 

"Is that all you can say?" Quin questioned, still staring at their hands. He did not hold Nine's hand nor move away from his touch. 

"I don't know what else to say, Quin. I know it was wrong, but I was—am so lonely. When was the last time we did anything or when you paid attention to me or even made love?" Nine was not trying to justify his cheating, but he wanted to let out his grievances for Quin ignoring him. 

And Nine was lonely; so lonely. Sleeping with Vee made him feel good and wanted. 

"And how does that excuse you to sleep with someone else? You could have come to me if you felt this way instead of jumping into another man's bed." 

"How!" Nine threw up his hands in frustration. "How can I come to you when all you do is ignore me? When I want to talk, you don't want to. You run away from every fight, and when I want to do something, you always say you are busy. So stop acting like I haven't tried. I have been trying from day one. But where is your effort, Quin? Why do I feel like I am the only one in this relationship?'

Nine did not notice the tears flowing down his face as he stated his points. It never hit him how hard he had been trying since they got together. He thought they had a good relationship, and it died down. But, thinking back, it seemed like he was the only one putting in the effort. 

Being in love made people blind, and he was utterly blind to Quin. 

"Do you love me like I love you?" Nine silently asked, coming down from his frustration, turning bitter instead. 

"Are you really saying you love me when you are cheating on me?" Quin evaded the question. 

"Quin!" Nine almost snapped. "Answer my question: do you love me like I love you?" 

"We've been together for seven years; if I didn't love you, why would I still be here?" Quin answered in a roundabout way. 

"But, have you? Have you been here? Have you been here for me because I am there when you need me, but you are not there when I need you?" Nine argued. 

"Nine—" 

"Don't tell me I wasted seven years with you!" Nine interrupted, his tears continuing to fall. 

Quin was his first in everything, and he knew he was never Quin's first in some things, but he wanted to be his last. Nine guessed it was wishful thinking that started when he was fifteen. 

"You didn't even let me finish." 

"I already have a feeling what you wanted to say. During high school, people called me a rebound, saying that you are still in love with your ex. I ignored them and didn't believe them because I believed you loved me and we would be together forever. But maybe they were right; maybe you didn't truly love me; maybe I was a rebound." 

"That is not true." Quin tried reasoning. "I wouldn't do that to you." 

"Please," Nine begged, "don't lie to me. Let's be truthful to each other. Yes, I have been cheating, and I slept with the person more than once. I know I have done wrong, and I know I have fucked up, but don't make it seem like I am the only bad guy here. So tell me, was I a rebound? Someone to cling to because you couldn't have your ex?" 

Quin stayed silent, staring at the wall instead of answering Nine. After a few minutes passed by, Nine snorted, standing up. "I am staying with Cassy and Lee for a while." 

"Wait," Quin tried to grab Nine's hand, but Nine pulled away. 

"Don't touch me!" Nine walked into the bedroom, grabbed a bag, stuffing clothes inside. Once he finished, he also took his schoolbag and left. Quin kept calling him, but Nine ignored him, wiping the tears off his face. 

As he left, he called Lee. 

"Hello?" Lee answered. 

"Can I stay with you and Cassy for a while?" Nine asked. 

Hearing Nine's crying voice, Lee grew concerned and quickly agreed, "Sure, sure." 

"Thank you." 

Nine didn't know what to do: all he knew was that he didn't want to be around Quin or see his face. 

When he arrived at Cassy and Lee's place, his emotions came out like a broken dam when Lee opened the door. He grabbed Lee, holding onto him as he cried. 

Lee rubbed his back, glancing toward Cassy to make some calming tea for Nine. 

"Are you okay?" Lee asked as he continued to hold Nine. He practically supported his body. 

"He doesn't truly love me." Nine cried and didn't say anything else. 

I wasted seven years with a man who couldn't open his heart to me.