"Can I come in?"

No, you're homophobic and I don't need that negativity in my life, is what Ryan should have said, but the blond boy found himself staring at the brown haired senior for almost a minute, contemplating whether he really should let Drew into his house and back into his life. And really, what he should have done was close the door and back out of whatever this was... but that look in his eyes, that look in those soulful brown eyes had a grip on his heart in a way that Ryan knew he couldn't deny them, no matter how badly he wanted to. He could never turn away from Drew when the tall boy was looking at him like he meant everything. Taking in a deep breath, Ryan stepped back and opened the door wider, inviting the senior in.

"Thank you," Drew said softly as he walked in, following Ryan through the foyer and into the living room.

"You can leave your shoes by the door," he stated.

"Right," Drew nodded and went back to the foyer to take off his issues, having not noticed that there was a shoe rack there. Ryan waited for the boy to come back before leading him toward the stairs, still unsure whether allowing Drew into his bedroom was a good idea.

"Uh, hello?" A deep voice said from across the living room, making Ryan turn around to see his father and Dan standing in the hallway next to the kitchen and looking at him and Drew. Ryan did not fail to notice his father's disheveled look, from his messy wet hair and wrinkled shorts. It would make sense since he was dripping wet, and Ryan guessed that his father and Dan had been at the pool, but he knew damn well it wasn't the both of them who were in the water from how Dan looked completely normal.

Ryan wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what his father and stepfather were doing before coming back inside the house, and his face went up in flames at the mere thought of it. The thought alone made the blond boy grimace.

"This is Drew," he immediately said as he pointed to the senior, wanting to get out of there with immediate effect. "He's a friend from school."

Henry Huff nodded, running a hand through his messy blond hair as he spared a glance at Drew and back at his son. "It's 8 pm. Isn't that a little late for a visit?"

"Dad, please...," Ryan groaned and covered his face with his hands as he shook his head. He looked back up at his father and Dan who had still not said a word. "He won't take long. We're just gonna talk," Ryan stated as he took Drew's hand to lead him upstairs, already hating the fact that both his father and step-father had seen him bring a boy home when he had vowed to never let them have a clue in that part of his life.

It didn't matter though, after all, Drew was just here to talk and Ryan was sure that once their talk was over, so would their arrangement. He bit his lips as he opened the door to his bedroom and let Drew in. Ryan let out a sigh, walking all the way to his desk to put some distance between himself and Drew who was now standing by his bed. Looking around, Ryan felt slightly grateful that his room was always clean and tidy. Drew was there right now, seeing him be the most vulnerable he had ever been.

"Nice room," the tall boy whispered after a while, making Ryan look up at him curiously. Ryan bit his lip, saying nothing as Drew's eyes met his. And what was he going to say? He had no way of making sure that the Drew here, right now, in this moment, was the Drew he had come to know over the last few weeks... or if he was the Drew who called him a fag just an hour ago.

"I'm sorry," he heard Drew whisper. The blond boy's brows raised, unsure of what he had just heard.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," said Drew again, louder and firmer this time. "For what I said. I'm sorry for snapping at you and calling you a... calling you that word," he continued, his eyes full of remorse and hurt from what Ryan could see. Still, he said nothing and let Drew continue, crossing his arms as he watched the senior from his desk.

"When I found out you knew that Nora liked me back and never said a word about it, I felt like you were taking advantage of me," Drew explained, his eyes meeting Ryan's and then moving sideways as if he couldn't stare into those blue eyes for a moment longer. "I know that's probably not the case but I got angry and... and... I should have never called you that. I'm sorry, Ryan."

"You don't have to apologize," he stated as he met Drew's gaze, his heart clenching as he processed the senior's words. And for a moment, Ryan knew that Drew had every right to be angry. Of course, he shouldn't have said what he did, which Ryan still felt offended by, and rightly so, but there was a part of him that had somehow deemed Drew worthy of forgiveness.

He wanted to forgive him, but doing that meant accepting Drew back in his life, and that wasn't something Ryan was sure he could handle. Especially not when Drew still liked and wanted to be with Nora. Especially not when his heart ached for Drew. Especially not when he wanted to be with Drew in every way that the senior wanted to be with Nora.

And that want, that need to fall in love with the boy he dreamed of each day, caused his heart to shatter into a million pieces, and he had no way of putting it back together if he allowed this to go on.

"I- I think we should end everything..." he whispered, making Drew gasp as he stared at him with wide eyes.

"What? Ryan..."

"I'm sorry... I just- I can help you with Nora, but everything else, I think it has to stop," he stated as he shook his head and closed his eyes, as if the mere sight of Drew could cause him to change his mind. "Now what I do want to know is if you think you have enough information and are ready for this," he continued as he opened his eyes. "I don't want you to think that maybe I like kissing you which is why I haven't told you that Nora likes you back."

And frankly, Ryan knew what they had... well, what he had with Drew... wasn't meant to last. It was as one-sided as the moon in the sky and he would be a fool to let it go on for a moment longer. Deep down, he knew he had helped Drew enough. That little voice in his head nagged at him to stop being foolish. What more could a junior teach a senior about love and dating? What did he, as someone who had never even kissed anyone before Drew, know about love and hearts more than Drew who was probably lying about not having done anything with anyone? If Cain, who was Drew's best friend, was telling him to not trust Drew, shouldn't he take that into account?

Ryan wasn't stupid... He was just-

"I don't feel ready," Drew stated, startling Ryan and bringing the blond boy out of his thoughts.

"What?" he asked softly as he faced the tall boy again. Drew sighed and moved even closer to him, taking Ryan's hands in his. He rubbed the back of the shorter boy's hand slowly as he looked into his eyes. Ryan wet his lips, biting them as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. Why did Drew have to be so close? Why did this senior get his heart racing like a hare even when he didn't want it to?

"I know it seems like you've taught me so much about Nora, but I don't ready," Drew groaned. "I don't know how to explain it... I just- Please, you said you'd help," he said softly as his brown eyes stared into Ryan's blue ones so intensely that the blond boy thought he might faint. How could he even think of denying him when Drew looked at him like that? How could he let go of everything he had come to enjoy about Drew? He would miss having late-night phone calls with him, he would miss sneaking out of class just to kiss him, he would miss having those soft lips against his, he would miss having Drew's hands all over himself. He would miss him.

And that scared Ryan.

He watched the brown haired boy for a moment, his heart clenching as if Drew held his heart with a rope that threatened to let go at any given moment but always pulled him back in at the last second. He hated feeling sorry for Drew, or anyone really, but the ache in his chest couldn't be helped, especially when he also thought of all the things he would come to lose if he did let go of Drew.

"Is that why you rejected her?" He asked Drew as he thought back to what Nora had said at the ice cream bar, wondering if the tall boy had been slightly scared when he was faced with actually asking Nora out.

"I didn't reject her," Drew stated as he let go of Ryan's hands.

Ryan frowned, confused. "Then... what did you tell her?"

"I just said I was busy," said the tall boy with a shrug, making the short boy sigh.

"She seems to think you rejected her," he pointed out, scratching his chin slowly with a finger. "But it's whatever. Anyway, let's see... we've already covered likes and dislikes, and we've also covered kisses. What next?"

"Dates. She asked me out on a date so I think we should go on one to figure it out."

"Okay," Ryan said. For Nora, he thought to himself, hoping to God that that sentiment was true.