Asmodeus steadied himself before walking up the winding spiral staircase to Liszt’s wing. She stood before an open window, staring mournfully out towards the waxing moon. He took a deep breath and made his presence known.
“You holding up?” Asmo asked gently.
Liszt's arms were crossed as she sobbed quietly to herself. Ignoring his attempts at consolation.
“Sooo,” Asmo paused. “Pockets. Pockets are cool. Are you more of a zipper or button kind of-“
Liszt’s sobbing increased audibly, signaling her disinterest in pushing the subject.
“Right. Okay, shutting up,” Asmo replied, straightening out his clothes. He reached into his pocket and put an unlit cigarette in his mouth, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
“I just don’t get it,” Liszt choked through the tears. “They’re sisters. We’re all each other has in this stupid world.”
“Okay, well,” Asmo stated calmly. “It’s just how they show affection. They wouldn’t be so… passionate? Is that the right word? if it wasn’t important to them.”
“All they ever do is fight. It’s so petty. It’s like they don’t understand how lucky they are to be here,” Liszt sobbed.
“I mean, I think they know. They just have trouble showing it,” Asmo assured her.
“There are better ways to show you love someone,” She lamented.
“Yes. But there’s also worse ways,” Asmo caught himself speaking defensively. “shit.”
Liszt glared at him and turned away. “What makes you think any of this is helping?”
“Look, sorry. Growing up with Pim and Basil as role models. I have a very hard time, y’know, not sounding sarcastic. We weren’t built for this life… none of us were!” Asmo lamented.
“What I meant was…” He groaned loudly. “Okay look. If they were out in the wild, they’d be burning off that energy. Too busy just trying to survive to be fixated on petty little things.”
“Or dead,” Liszt replied dryly.
“Right. But here, they have time to consider everything they do. And let feelings fester. The misfortunes of a charmed life,” Asmo argued, defending their actions. “It just gives a person a lot of free time to overthink things.”
“A lot of time to think you’re the smartest person in the world,” She said dismissively.
“Yes, exactly, can you blame us?” Asmo nodded, brushing off the insult.
“Are you speaking from experience then?” Liszt continued, defensively.
“Aye. And observation.” Asmo said, relieved he’d gotten through with his message. He didn’t care about her throwing jabs at him, as long as he could get her to crack a smile.
Liszt shook her head. “Okay, go on I guess,” She muttered dismissively.
“You don’t have to base your relationship or love around how nice people are to each other,” He concluded.
“Oh. Great advice. Great talk. You’re such a condescending asshole,” Liszt replied, annoyed at his demeanor.
“Of course. I’m an ass, but so are you and the others. You’re mine and mine. That makes you all asses too. One way or another.” He offered her a smoke and she waved him off disgusted.
“Like it or not,” Liszt replied with an eye roll. “Those things are part of what made her so sick, I don’t know why you play with them,” She said, sneering.
“Learned it from Pim. Helped her focus. Helps me focus I guess.”
“You look like a jackass,” Liszt said curtly.
“But does it make me look smarter? It made Pim think she was smarter, does that make her a jackass too?” Asmo was unable to hide his smugness. And somehow that was calming to Liszt.
“Asshole,” Muttered Liszt bitterly, but with a tinge of affection.
“But not incorrect,” Asmo replied smugly. “Which was Pim’s favorite kind of correct.”
“While, you aren’t incorrect…” She flicked the cigarette out of his mouth with a sigh. She stomped it out with her boot and glared at her. “I also would never let her do that around me. So if I see you take out another one, I will punch you in your stupid face until you learn better.”
“Good. There we go, Liszt.” Asmo beamed, proud of her assertiveness. “See, tough love can be important sometimes.”
“Whatever,” Liszt muttered dejectedly. “It’s been a long day. I don’t know how they still have all this energy to keep trying to teach you fools…”
“I mean, Lili and Vie get more sleep than us… or like in general?” Asmo quipped. “So whatever is going on, they don’t have trouble sleeping at night. You and I just have that old terran guilt. Like we failed the gods or something when we let the wall fall.”
Liszt just shook her head silently, and Asmo spoke to fill the silence.
“It may look like they’re too busy constantly picking fights to accomplish anything, but I think it’s just kind of their nature as Fey.” Asmo thought out loud.
“When you’re immortal you have to worry about long term victories. And so they make a big deal about pomp and circumstance, when really it’s more like a long game of poker.” Asmo chatted on.
Liszt stared at him blankly as he rambled. “Goooo on?”
“Well, in poker you’re better off folding most of your hands and waiting for a pair of aces. But they don’t have limited resources, so they don’t care about folding.”
“Can you just skip to the moral of the story?” Liszt replied, tired of riddles.
“Look, I don’t know how else to say it, so just play along,” Asmo groaned.
Liszt rolled her eyes. “Alright fine. pop off, King.”
“Prince. My father died before they could crown me,” Asmo interjected.
Liszt felt her eyes see further into the back of her skull. “God you wolves are all pedantics.”
Asmo ignored her and continued rambling. “Those two have infinite resources backing them up, so they keep going all in with every hand. Because they don’t know what it’s like to really lose on a bad bet.”
“You and I understand that you need to fold most hands. We would never take that bet, even with infinite resources. But they don’t actually understand the consequences of their actions.” He looked up at Liszt to make sure she hadn’t wandered off while he was ranting. “Does this make any sense?”
“So this is a game to you?” Liszt asked, unamused.
“Not by choice, and so are most things in life. Once you realize everyone else is playing a stupid game you hate, you learn the rules because it’s important to someone,” Asmo answered honestly. “And I truly find this game to be really boring. It’s a solved equation.”
“What?” Liszt asked, flabbergasted. “What are you going on about?”
“Assuming the worst in people and coveting what they desire just to spite them… that gets you nowhere. It’s mutually assured destruction. I figured that out years ago. Being jealous because you’re getting less attention doesn’t get you anywhere. You need to find your own purpose, not seek out validation.” Asmo mused.
“And so what? It's not like you care about anything,” Liszt said, attempting to stifle a yawn.
“I care very much actually. Why else would I be here now? But I just let things happen as they do. If it’s so important to them, why stand in their way?” He shrugged his shoulders.
He stared out into the moonlight of the valley. At the waxing moon. He felt it in his chest and tampered down the urge to cry out and howl at it. But it was validating.
“I get nothing out of holding them back.” He said grinning at her. “It’s liberating really. Try just letting your loved ones walk off a cliff, and then throwing them a rope afterwards. It’s cathartic.” Asmo felt the warmth of the moonlight echoing through his words.
“Liszt, you don’t have to be so protective of everyone. Just do enough. You can be happy with what you have. After spending my youth waiting to be a king... Eventually you need to grow up and be realistic about things.”
He paused, contemplating his next choice of words. “Do what makes you happy, what gets you by. All I want is for them to be happy. But me trying to preach to them won’t do much good.”
“And so instead you’re preaching to me?” Liszt replied sarcastically.
“Liszt. Neither of them went through your childhood,” Asmo said softly, with sincerity that Liszt herself struggled to accept. “They don’t get it. They don’t understand what it’s like to have to truly struggle to survive.”
She nodded silently.
“I think by nature they both have more time to mature on their own anyway. Because well…” Asmo choked out. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes. “Wolves don’t live as long as Fae.”
Liszt placed her arm around her brother. “Nor do Terrans. Which is why we need to stick together.”
“Didn’t you used to say something about that? Life is meant to be lived. But death is inevitable?”
A passage from the codex, the sacred tenant. The prayer of monarchs, healers, and warriors.
For providence. Because oblivion is inevitable. But it’s life that’s worth living for. A prayer from his ancestors, and a promise to his soul.
“Yeah... close enough anyway,” He nodded. Her sentiment was noted, but incomplete.
Asmo glanced away sullenly for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Liszt, all I want is for you to be happy y’know? Them too of course. I don’t like watching them fight either, and I don’t want you to think you’re alone in this.”
He sighed in frustration. “We’re all learning different lessons here. Or maybe, the same lessons in a different order. I dunno.”
“I know,” Liszt replied softly. “But personally…it’s a hard lesson to learn.”
“Yeah, you got that right. I feel like I'm always gonna be kind of a screw up. But at least I’m TRYING to learn, right?” He smiled morbidly. “Because like it or not, they’re probably gonna outlast us.”
The two shared a chuckle.
He reached forward and gestured an embrace to his sister, something that was rare from his usual introverted nature.
“This is a lot coming from a wolf too self conscious to Howl at the moon.” She smiled.
“…it’s her birthday and I know how much she hated it.” He sighed.
“Growing up is proving your parents wrong, as much as anything. If you want to really honor her, prove her wrong Asmodeus.” Liszt said, returning her brother’s wisdom.
He looked at her and then back at Luna. Back at the mother spirit in the sky that he had beaten out of himself as a child.
“Do you know what Pim loved most about you Asmo?”
“It was that you were one who could prove her wrong. You were the grand exception. She tried so hard to make you in her image, and you never yielded. Why now, with her body returned to the ground, do you betray that?” Liszt said, placing her hand on her brother’s shoulder.
To howl. It was seen as a threatening gesture to most Terrans, as many of the allied wolves had long since agreed to refrain from the call to hunt.
It was an old holdover. But it was in the heart and soul of every Lupine.
He stepped towards the window and into the light of the full moon. He had never learned to skinshift. He’d neither the aptitude or mentorship, and he was far too old to ever get the chance. But he was still a Lupine, he’d just learn the other aspects.
“Make your mother proud Asmodeus.” Liszt said, her hand clutching her brother's shoulder. “Make me proud.”
He took a deep breath and felt his voice crack on the first try.
“Easy does it, you need to warm up first.” She smiled.
“aaaaaaAaaaaaAaaa” Liszt vocalized to him.
“Louder, more diaphragm!” Liszt cheer on his efforts.
“HowooOOOOOOoooOoooooooOOOOOO!”
And he finally roared out a howl, cutting through the night sky.
He leaned backwards, surprised at the sound.
“It’s… still weak.” He muttered.
But to his surprise, he heard the response, and then another.
“W-what?!?” He gasped.
“They’re still your people, Asmo. Your people are still out there. They, like you, may have been displaced. But there is a reason Pim wanted to protect you, and this wasn’t it.” Liszt said softly.
She watched her brother’s eyes dilate. “It’s the same as it ever was around here, but they persist. Scarred but not broken.”
Asmo felt tears in his eyes. A fusion of pride and loneliness.
He wanted to know the embrace of another of his kind, but felt the absence of that ancestral connection, screaming abandon on marble slab stone.
He reached his arms out to embrace Liszt, but pulled himself back. He didn’t want her to think badly of him.
But Liszt leaned forward to receive it and the two siblings shared a rare moment of kinship, a kind departure from their otherwise long, lonely, and otherwise hostile cohabitation.
She held him, because his birth family could not. She embraced her brother, the way Pim had refused to do.
“I’m proud of you, Asmodeus. Your parents are proud of you. The saints of your people are proud.”
Asmo bowed before excusing himself back down the spiral staircase. “Goodnight sis, I love you. I need some time to process.”
Liszt waved him off. “Yeah yah. I-”
She was cut off by the sound of a large crash in the garden, and Asmo bolted back to her side. He glanced out the window to try and locate the source of the noise.
“Loveyoutoo,” She replied without breathing. “what in hades was that?”
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