The guard spoke up as Yuw got closer, stern and emotionless. “State your purpose.” The voice surprised Yuw for a bit, causing her to stop in her footsteps. Her tone was strict, with the look in her eyes to match.

“What is this place?” Yuw asked, gesturing to the building.  

“This is the Library of Knowledge, containing all knowledge that was, is, and will be.” The guardian answered, still carrying the same stoic expression. 

Yuw took a moment, and started sorting the questions in her mind. “This place, the Library, who owns it?” 

The guardian responded swiftly to the question, still keeping the same tone of voice. “The Guild. It’s a sacred location for souls, spirits, and all living beings of sorts to come and give knowledge, or look up knowledge and information.”    

“Then can I go in?” Yuw asked with excitement in her tone, and a smile on her face. “I am from the Guild, the branch from Dikuda, and there is something in there that I need. I know it.” 

The guild was founded on religion, as much as Yuw wish she didn’t have to admit. A gathering of faith that looked up to the Goddess Falehi, and all of the other deities that followed her or ruled under her name. Many decisions were made under the supposed ‘guidance’ of the religious figure of the time, but nowadays, it’s more about charity and spreading the word internationally. 

Some would give money and help the homeless, while others train to go on missions to help others in need around Gujin. Yuw was a part of such tasks, along with Ryahno, and Autumn as well. These assignments often included rescuing hostages, or during natural disasters. It was there that she got the title ‘Strength’. 

It wasn’t like Yuw to be persistent, always fearing that she’d be a bother to others. She didn’t want to come here and pester a guard who was just doing her job. But there was this pull to get into the Library. If asked, she couldn’t explain why she wanted to enter the building so badly, or what her goal was. Part of her just knew that the solution to many of her problems was inside. What that solution looked like, she didn’t know.

The guardian turned to face Yuw as she asked the question. She gazed at the giant, who stood there unsettled, and felt trapped by the look. The smaller woman’s pupils were dilated, and darted up and down, as if they searched for something on Yuw. All she could do was wait until the woman was done. Mere seconds felt like an eternity.

“I’m sorry, but you may not. The Library does not welcome you at the moment.” The guard eventually spoke up again, eyes turning normal, face remaining stoic and unreadable. “Please come back when things have changed.”

“When might be a good time then?” Yuw had asked as the woman’s eyes shifted away, getting distracted by what seemed to be a small rodent creature coming in between the two. It casually walked by the guardian, giving a slight bow in respect and a small wave. 

The guard made a quick bow back to the rodent, her gaze was softer than usual. She then turned back to the towering woman before her. “Please come back when things have changed.” Those words were repeated once more. It felt almost like a prerecorded message that was given to anyone who wanted in, regardless of their reasoning or status. Needless to say, Yuw was disappointed that being a member of the Guild didn’t give her special treatment. 

Thoughts began to swirl in her mind that made Yuw wonder, ‘How low is my rank within the Guild? Am I even useful to the Guild’s cause?’ She thinks about how much volunteer work she has done in the name of the guild, and how those good deeds may be counted as little to nothing of worth in the spiritual aspect. Now for her to think that all her time was wasted, when she could’ve been having fun, hanging out with friends and trying new things that she liked instead. 

Following those negative thoughts, Ryahno came to mind. She gritted her teeth at the possibility of her friend being able to visit this place whenever she wanted. She questioned how her friend was able to climb the guild ranks so easily, and what could possibly be different from what she’s doing. They used to sacrifice their weekends to do volunteer work together, but Ryahno got sent on other missions while she was left to do the same old stuff, weekend after weekend. ‘How often does she come here anyways? How much is happening without me knowing?’

Yuw had a close-up experience with Ryahno and knew how hard she worked to achieve her goals. They both were. But ever since the friend returned from being MIA, she seemed to excel even further in her life, while Yuw continued to fall behind. The giant never understood the change within her friend, how she could come back and get to go on missions, and receive benefits. Even rose to a high rank, commanding other members, including Yuw.

After having these thoughts, the lonely giant grew impatient and impulsive. The jealousy pushed her to want more. She stepped forward, and the guard’s body tensed in response, something Yuw noticed rather easily from her days in the military. This was a warning, but she ignored it.

“Are you sure you can’t just let me in? Even if it’s for a second?” She had started to ask, curiosity leading the thoughts that trailed.  

“No.” The smaller woman said, and the tension really showed in her voice. Her brows furrowed. “Please come back when things have changed.” She repeated the canned response. 

The constant vague reply was bothersome and annoying to hear. Yuw wasn’t getting the answer she wanted, nor was she given a direction on how to go about it, and it drained her patience very quickly. “What is it that I need to change, exactly?” A sigh accompanied the question.

“It’s not my place to tell you what or how to change.” the guard responded, giving Yuw another glance over. “All I am allowed to say is that now is not the time.” She explained briefly, but after seeing Yuw’s irritated expression, she added, “When knowledge is given at the wrong time and the person isn’t ready, it can be more of a poison than a cure. Please, try to understand.” When the smaller woman finished speaking, she gave the giant a respectful bow. 

“Well, I-...” Yuw huffed, annoyed once again at the reply. ”May I have your name, at least?” She then crossed her arms and waited for an answer, not wanting to keep referring to the woman as ‘that guard’ in her head.

“Miao,” the Guard eventually said, matter-of-factly. 

‘Like a cat's sound.’ Yuw thought, as she raised her eyebrow. Though it was a strange name, it was also easy enough to remember. “Okay then, Miao,” the taller woman said, taking another step forward, not realizing how intimidating she looked while towering over the guard. 

“Please, do not take another step further. You are not allowed inside.” Miao warned, placing the tip of her foot on top of Yuw’s, applying a bit of pressure. Despite the hidden threat that went with her action, her voice still hadn’t changed from that neutral tone. It was unnerving, making Yuw feel uncomfortable and she was in no mood to allow this discomfort to linger in her mind.

Turning her gaze downward, the bewildered giant looked at the boot on top of her own. Both of her eyebrows rose involuntarily. ‘Cute.’ That was the only thing that went through her head. She didn’t even feel anything, thanks to the steel-toe tip of the boot. Yuw knew this simple thing wouldn’t stop her. ‘What could this tiny woman, who’s physically smaller, and probably physically weaker as well, even do against me, if I attempted to force my way inside?’ the tall woman thought to herself while staring down at Miao. 

“And if I do?” Yuw asked with a hiss, finally getting a reaction from the guard. Miao’s stoic expression was broken by the frown on her face. 

“Are you really with the Guild? Or are you a loose acquaintance?” Miao asked as her eyes narrowed. Yuw tensed up, the judgemental stare from the guard felt all too familiar. The look of disrespect, or perhaps disappointment, was unnerving. She’s gotten this glance way too many times in her life; By her parents, her teachers, her superiors, …Ryahno. 

The words cut deep as Yuw’s anger came to a boil. Her mind was, once again, filled with the idea of being a lower guild rank than she thought. It puzzled her mind to no end. After all, she wasn’t just some random follower of the guild. She had a guild name. A name that she earned alongside Ryahno back in the days, and these types of titles are rarely given to people unless they were deemed extremely capable or devoted. “I’m with the Rhythm Sundial, have been for decades.” The disgruntled giant hissed, trying to mask her frustrations to no avail.  

“Themal Yuw.” Miao stated. Surprised by this, she lifted her foot off Yuw’s boot. “I’m sorry, Strength, but the answer is still ‘no’. Now is not the time for you to enter the Library. When things have changed, then you may.” The guard then gave a little bow. 

Yuw was at a loss for words, not only did Miao find out her name, but her guild name as well. Panicked, she couldn’t help but wonder, ‘If you know my name, what else do you know about me?’ 

The amount of realization that she knows lesser about this place than everyone around her started to give Yuw a headache. She felt vulnerable, exposed, and naked.  With a low, heavy growl, she took a step forward. “Let me in the Library.” The overbearing giant demanded, threatening Miao’s personal space.

The stone tapestry behind the guard began to tremble, the sound of the vibrating stone shook Yuw to the core. Still the blue-haired giant kept her focus straight on the small woman.

“No, please return another time.” Miao had said in the same neutral, stoic tone she always showed. The guard was not backing down, which only seemed foolish in the giant’s eyes. Yuw’s fists clenched hard as the words were spoken to her. To the larger woman, the words in her mind were judgmental, and that was the last of it she could take. 

“Don’t you dare disrespect a member of the Guild, tiny cat.” Yuw questioned, becoming more threatening with each word spoken. “I can report you for giving me a shitty attitude, is that clear?” 

“You self-entitled fool!” Miao exclaimed, showing a crack in her emotions, like a mirror that broke under pressure. The guard’s eyes widened as she raised her voice to the towering woman, it echoed in the halls. “You may not enter! You will endanger yourself and anyone else that assists you-” With the sudden realization of what she just did, Miao gasped and took a step back. She quickly gave an apologetic bow to Yuw. “I-I’m sorry, I understand it’s difficult for you.”

No more did Yuw care about respectful bows or any fancy apologies that Miao can give. In a sudden moment, the giant shot her hand forward, grabbing the smaller woman by the tie she wore, pulling the guard off the ground and up to her eye level. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Yuw snarled, her eyes possessing fury as she leaned in close to Miao’s face. “You have no right to talk to me like that!” The giant scolded as the guard started to go limp in her grasp. 

Unexpected by this approach, Yuw suddenly felt the woman’s palm strike her chest, and knocked the wind out of her. Startled by this, her grip loosened, and instantaneously found herself lying in bed gasping for air. She lightly held onto her blanket, with her heart pounding, and sweat on her face. It looked as if she just awoke from a nightmare.