It was Wednesday, and Nora and Ruxie were standing in front of their school, arms crossed and faces determined as they waited for their friend to meet them. The blond boy saw them from his father’s car when the man dropped him off, and all he wished when he noticed them was for his father to turn the car back so he could miss school the second time in a row.

“Are you seeing that boy?”

“What?” Ryan frowned as he turned to his father.

The older man watched his son carefully, eyebrows raised as he waited for an answer from him. “That one,” he said, nodding toward a group of boys standing near a black BMW near the school’s fountain. Ryan followed his sight to see Drew standing with Zane and Cain, among a few other guys from the swim team.

I wish. The thought came faster than the speed of light and as much as Ryan hated himself for even thinking it, he knew it was the truth. Sighing, he shook his head.

“I’m not,” he deadpanned, eyes narrowing as he watched the boys talk to each other. There was something about the way Drew interacted with his friends, the way he was always so confident and carefree when he was with them. Seeing him being this way in public, and knowing that Drew had been vulnerable with him, unafraid to share his secrets in private with him, caused a warm feeling to flow through the blond boy. His heart ached, weirdly, because though it felt so incredibly good to know he was important enough to Drew in this way, Ryan also knew it wasn’t meant to last.

No matter how badly he wanted to deceive himself of the fact.

“Are you sure?”

Ryan licked his lips and turned to his father, shaking his head. “We’re not… we’re just friends,” he stated and turned back to the window, ending the conversation. His eyes met Nora’s from afar and he shuddered slightly when she smiled and waved at him. “I better get going, Nora and Ruxie are waiting,” he said.

“Say hi to them for me,” his father stated. “And make sure to call Dan when you close. He’d like to give you a ride.”

“Dad I can walk, it’s no big deal,” Ryan said with an eyeroll as he got down from the car.

“Try,” his father said with a pointed look. Ryan sighed then and nodded, not wanting to get further into why he didn’t want to hang out with his stepfather. He turned away from the car and headed over to his friends, ignoring his father’s sigh which sounded so much like his. Sometimes, he hated the way he and his father were so alike, but today was not the day to get into it, he thought.

Ryan put on a brave face as he neared his friends, smiling when he got close in greeting and reached out to hug them both.

“You fucking idiot,” Nora exclaimed as she punched him playfully in his chest, making Ryan take a step back as he put his hand on his chest.

“Ow, that hurt Nora,” he whined.

“As it should! I was so worried about you!” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, eyes narrowed at the blond boy.

“Aww you were worried about me?”

“Of course we were, idiot!” Ruxie stated. “Glad to see you’re doing alright,” they continued as they hooked their arms in with Ryan’s. Nora did the same on his left side and the three friends walked to the school building together.

Ryan smiled warmly at his friends, feeling warm and elated to have friends that did care so much about him as he did them. The slight pang of guilt in chest didn’t wane though, especially when they passed by the boys on the swim team. As the three of them walked to class, Ryan couldn’t help but feel an intense gaze from behind him, and as much as he wanted to look, to know whether it was Drew or Cain who stared so hard at him, Ryan didn’t turn back. He couldn’t, not when he was with Nora and Ruxie.

The blond boy’s day was uneventful at best, and for some reason, Ryan found himself wondering about his text messages with none other than Cain. He wasn’t sure why Cain’s name came up in his History class, or why he even thought about the senior at all. The only times he and Cain had talked was really when the black-haired senior had something to say about his arrangement with Drew. And the last time that happened had been shortly after Drew had left his house on Monday night.

~Flashback~

Shortly after Drew had left and Ryan was getting ready to sleep, his phone rang with a call from someone he didn’t expect. He stared at the phone as he picked it up, brows narrowed in confusion. Why the hell was he calling, especially when they had texted each other only an hour ago.

Though Ryan didn’t want to answer the call, he couldn’t help but be curious about what Cain had to say.

“You’re going on a date with him?” the boy deadpanned as soon as Ryan put the phone to his ear.

How did he even know? Ryan thought to himself, frowning even further. “Did he tell you that?”

“How I know doesn’t fucking matter, Ryan.”

"Yes it does!” Ryan wanted to scream. Just why the hell was Cain so hellbent on making his life miserable? He knew he was making huge mistakes when it came to Drew. It didn’t take a full class of intellectuals for Ryan to be aware of how bad an idea it was for him to be doing this with Drew. He knew that. And he didn’t think Cain had any right to lecture him on that. “How does any of this even concern you?” He questioned as he fell back on his bed.

He heard Cain sigh, and though he didn’t know him quite well, Ryan could almost see the eyeroll which accompanied that sigh. “I used to think you were smart, Huff, but this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen anyone do.”

“I’m not even going on a date date with him,” Ryan couldn’t help but explain. “I’m doing it for Nora.”

“Scratch that, this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard,” Cain deadpanned.

“Cain…”

“No really. You really think Drew’s gonna take you out for the fun of it just so he can date your best friend? Okay, fine. And he’s kissing you because of your friend too? Is that it? What happens when he asks you to have sex with him?”

Ryan gasped out loud, his eyes wide with shock. “It never got there!” he exclaimed. He couldn’t help but remember all the times he and Drew had made out, thinking back on how intense some of those sessions had been and how badly horny he was at the time. And maybe Cain was right… But Ryan couldn’t deal with logic right now.

“What if it does? Huh? Are you gonna let him fuck you for your friend? Is that what’s happening here?”

Ryan breathed in, squeezing his eyes shut as his heart pounded so hard beneath his chest that he could almost hear the sound of it. He tightened the phone in his hand, wanting nothing more than to throw it against the wall and shatter it just so he could stop hearing Cain’s condescending voice in his ear.

“You better know what the fuck you’re doing there Huff, 'cause I don’t have to tell you just how much of a fucking bad idea this is.”

~Flashback ends~

As much as Ryan hated to admit, especially to himself, he was worried. Was there something more about Drew that he wasn’t aware of? Cain and Drew were supposed to be best friends, weren’t they? And for Cain to be so vehemently against Drew trying to find himself and become ready before asking Nora out was a bother. Maybe it was a little weird, - what he and Drew were doing - but this was Drew, Ryan thought. This was the cute senior he had thought about throughout his entire high school life so far.

He tried to not think about any secrets Drew could be keeping from him, but being the overthinker that he was, Ryan could not get it out of his head. So much so that he didn’t notice when a hand reached out to grab him and pull him into a dark janitor’s closet as he was on his way to the boy’s bathroom during lunch.

“Oh my fucking… what the fuck!” he screamed into the dark and gasped when he turned to see Drew smiling at him when the lights turned on. He shuddered, his heart beating loudly against his chest. “Oh, you scared me,” he breathed.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Drew chuckled, his hand circling Ryan’s waist as he pulled the boy closer to himself. Putting away a strand of Ryan’s hair behind his ear, Drew cupped his face, leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Ryan’s. It was short, quick, barely even there but it was so much more than everything Ryan always hoped for.

Why did it have to be Drew, he sometimes wondered. Why did he have to like him so much? Every time Ryan thought he was done with Drew, that he couldn’t possibly like the senior more, Drew always went and did something that had Ryan tingling and flaring up like fireflies in a glass jar.

He licked his lips, trying to ignore the fierce blush on his cheeks. “What- what are we doing here?” he asked in a soft whisper. The tall senior shrugged.

“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget about today,” he said.

“Of course, I didn’t,” Ryan stated, chuckling slightly. It was amusing, and almost endearing to know that Drew was almost as nervous as he was about the entire thing. Which was so strange because this was supposed to be about Nora, wasn’t it? So why did it feel like he was planning his very first date with Drew?

“Awesome! Cause I think you’re gonna love this!” Drew exclaimed.

“Really?”

The tall boy nodded. “Definitely. And I really hope you do, 'cause I wanna keep seeing that smile of yours,” he whispered.