Chapter 0

31th of May, 0321 AED, Arrow Café, Acano Street, Royal Capital Zarens

I have lived my life in peace. As far as I know, I am content with that.

The state of the people around me, the state of the kingdom of my birthplace, and the state of the world I set foot and see is not a concern of mine as long as it never involves me in some matter of ways.

You will do, not denying me; you must have realized to some degree that humans have selfish at their core. But social beings that we are, we see to it to prevent our selfish tendencies from taking over, looking over for cooperation instead. To think of the benefit of the group instead of just your own, such are the qualities of humans. But the thought of prioritizing your own, something like that crosses your mind. The phrases, I, me, my—would all be somehow connected to selfish. And you can stay hypocrite, driven by your so-called altruistic reasons, for as long as you like, I have no right whatsoever to call you out—for I am you, human.

My point is, I am acknowledging humanity’s selfishness and am not against it. Yes, being “selfish” is healthy. But only a little is needed and in the permissible range. Society has laid out a lot of things for us, a lot have loathed it, but it is significant. After all, does the countless invisible chains society have wrapped us not what’s keeping us from becoming something inhumane?

—I just want to mention that. I really love what’s keeping us in place. I cannot and will not start to imagine how things were to be if humans were truly free. In all honesty, I am terrified of the thought. Someone—something, must hold us in place—even just to some little degree—otherwise, pure chaos.

Anyway, although I openly stated that humans have selfish within them, I really do believe in humanity’s kindness. It is inherent to all, albeit some must have theirs tucked in the deepest corners of their soul, it is there.

And in this certain stage of my life, I clung to that belief. But damn, the one I’m facing right now must have really tucked that part of them really, really, realllyyy deep.

“In other words, you refuse this mandatory enlistment because you are a believer of pacifism?”

By now, you must start to question why I started my monologue with humanity’s selfish nature and not about my established belief of pacifism, but it is what it is. I am selfish and concomitantly, a pacifist—in broader sense, a firm believer of many things—and the officer just seems to not have that glint of kindness I want him to have.

“…Exactly, sir. To add, my body is not suited for war,” whilst speaking in all honesty and trying so hard to make sure I’ve portrayed that of a sincere person, I clenched my hands under the table. I may be many other things, but a liar is not one of them. So just please, pleasseee accept my refusal!

The military officer was a young one, presumably to have been at his early adulthood still. But judging from the air around him—yes, by that alone—I wouldn’t want to look down on him. No, I wouldn’t want to pull out a blunder within his presence. There was this certain something deep within the officer’s eyes and whatever it was; it terrified me to more extent than I think it do.

(—or was it a premonition?)

He furrowed his eyebrows, “You’ll be enlisted as mage though. A ton of them have similar body composition to yours.”

If fellow mages actually have the same body composition to mine, then, damn, Iremia’s mages must truly be as scrawny-looking as I envisioned. Still…

“I’m not speaking about body composition though… sir”

—There was a pause. Then finally, he snapped, “Miss Scurra, are you underestimating the Kingdom’s dire need of magic users?”

…Ughhh no? But it bothers me that you, a military officer, say that all quite naturally.

I am indeed aware of the Kingdom’s lamentable situation—and yes, as I’ve mentioned, it is no concern of mine… so why?

“No sir, I’m simply implying that I am not the magic user you should go out of your way to enlist for I am also part of a fallen noble household and have quite the circumstance,” I defended. Why does it seem like I’m not reaching you? Why can’t we come to an understanding? I don’t want to join you, military war nuts!

The officer closed his eyes briefly and exhaled. “It is true that your House did delve into forbidden black magic, but before that, House Scurra was a prominent house.”

Yeah, in all actuality, I was glad it fell into ruin; otherwise my life would have been muuuch complicated.

“…what if I retaliate…sir?” I thought it was worth asking but the man across me replied almost as immediately.

“You will be purged.”

I unconsciously gulped a little. That one sentence had sent a cold shiver down my spine. This chill… is more reason why I don’t want to join the war!

Nevertheless, in front of this terrifying enemy, I countered him with a strong front and a fearless facade. “But you will suffer losses from me first.”

Much to my dismay, the officer grinned and spoke the words that had me regretting what I’ve done just seconds ago.

“It seems you are not a pacifist, after all.”

Waittt.

Nononono! I AM A PACIFIST!!!

He stood up—meaning I’m done for.

“Miss Scurra, we have no more time left to hear out your beliefs. You are expected at the Training School exactly at 1400 for the welcoming of new trainees. You will come or you will—two of your only choices.”

How did it turn out like this?

…No. It was always supposed to turn out like this. The moment I agreed to speak with this officer, my fate was sealed. I was tied to never escape.

“The coffee was great, Miss Scurra. I will make sure to send word of your participation to the instructors. May your godparent ensure you have a nice day,” he wears his military cap and turns to leave after I replied back, “As do yours.”

When he was finally out of sight, I let out a groan as I slumped back to my seat. Whyy… I was supposed to live the rest of my life in continued peace! Now……..now, the future I’ve envisioned has been shattered to pieces!

I slammed my head upon the table; secretly hoping it would kill me somehow.

to be continued...