I open my eyes. Memories of someone called… Luca and his hot naked body against mine flash before me. We did it, didn’t we?

I stare into darkness and realize slowly this is not the body I am used to. An alt set? I seem not to be able to move. Strangely I am not worried, no panic rises. I breathe calmly.

Host: Who are you?

Sol: I am Sol.

Host: Am I going insane?

Sol: Don’t worry, no.

Host: Damn, I wish my mind would end, so I wouldn’t have to think so much.

Sol: I know what you mean. So maybe you go insane. What does that change? You don’t lose the ability to think but the consistency of the thought process. Insane people still think.

Host: Not even this is a hope.

Sol: I am sorry. Hope isn’t my expertise.

Host: So many fancy words. What are you?

Sol: An option. Are you in critical condition?

Host: I don’t know. I've been in this state of utter darkness for some time. Do you fear darkness?

Sol: No. Darkness is all right. I will introduce you to them.

Host: Are you death?

Sol: No, I am sorry again. I am nothing so nice. Who and what are you?

Host: I am the one left behind or I didn’t evade that one grenade. Maybe I am slow, that’s what I am.

Sol: Stubborn. That’s good. A strong will is hard to defy.

Host: Sorry, I am Kaleb. I am some kind of mercenary.

Sol: Very happy to make your acquaintance, Kaleb.

Kaleb: Why do I feel this is going to become more sinister.

Sol: Well, because it is. I was sent here to save your… mind, soul. I don’t know what you would call what makes you special.

Kaleb: My humor of course.

Sol: Of course. You will have a lot of fun with us.

Kaleb: Us? Does death have friends?

Sol: I am unending life, my dear Kaleb. About death I know little. I mean, I died quite a lot but it never ended my existence.

Kaleb: That is amazing. Now I am convinced I am losing my mind!

Sol: Your life is about to end but I can offer you an alternative.

Kaleb: Sure you do.

Sol: No need for sarcasm. If you prefer to end everything just say so. I wouldn’t hold it against you.

Kaleb: I will never give up. I will always choose life. Even if it is insanity.

Sol: You have no clue what this means yet. Don’t worry, time will show you.

Kaleb: No light? No choir?

Sol: Now we just wait, until your body gives into its fate.

Kaleb: Will I get a new body?

Sol: We will share mine. In the beginning it is very irritating, but you will get used to it. That’s what I tell myself. Still not there but one day. My hope.

Kaleb: You’re a nightmare to talk to.

Sol: Just wait till you see my face.

Kaleb: No improvement.

Sol: I am the only nice guy around.

Kaleb: That’s what you believe?

Sol: Who else is around here right now?

Kaleb: You are a smart ass, aren’t you?

Sol: Not too late to change your mind.

Kaleb: It’s a test. I would choke you to your death if I could.

Sol: Might as well, if you ever get the chance.

I do not envy the dying, but I envy death. Even Sin I am a bit jealous of. All this brute natural power. Strength, vitality. But Nil I do indeed dread severely. The void is deeper than the sea, the darkness or madness all of them together. I think even Sin fears them for good reasons.

Kaleb: Will I be swallowed by the emptiness and be forgotten?

Sol: Don’t worry, for I know both darkness and the void. If you don’t like either, you might as well stay with me.

I have the last word in his world. Darkness seems to consume us. But I manage to shield us. Kaleb’s body ceases its function to contain us. Silence rolls like the waves at the shore to our feet. Panic rises in Kaleb as he is just a mere thought to me as a single wave is to the sea. Well I am just a puddle, but a bigger one for sure. But no matter how big of a puddle I might believe myself to be, I am shallow. No existential crisis, no drama, only a permanent bad mood permeates me. Suffocating happiness and my new companion.

Sol: Sorry, losing a body makes me moody.

Kaleb: Yeah, I can feel it myself. Very unpleasant. But now what?

Sol: We will return to another set. I just have to find Sin and Nil.

Kaleb: Are you god?

I snicker in my mind. I don’t even manage to be a guardian angel but the bearer of bad news. I should call myself the harbinger of death. If I am a god I would be a miserable one.

Sol: No, you are lucky, there might be an almighty being worth praying to. But it is not me. I am just a mere instrument to my own causalities. And casualties.

Kaleb: You like to play with big words. Compensating something?

Sol: I compensate for everything. You have no idea what and whom I am working with. But you will see… and you too will somehow manage.

I can feel the presence of Nil. Cold and controlled demeanor. They gaze into me and Kaleb alike. There is nothing to hide and nowhere to hide.

Sol: So, Nil, are you going to show us the way?

Nil: Don’t be silly. I will take you along. You know the void is my origin.

I have a bad feeling, what Nil might be up to. On the other hand, this ride is not going to end anytime soon, so I should maybe lean back and relax a little.

Nil: I am sorry to disrupt your self reassurance, but you never relax and you never lean back either.

Sol: I could sing.

Nil: Please lean back and enjoy our ride.