A noise from far away reaches my senses. Voices follow. I can feel my hands and my body on the ground. My vision is blurry but I think I am at the airlock. Did Sin try to blow us out? My hand reaches for the emergency button to unlock it, as I see light and movement. I remember that carbon dioxide is heavy and I have little chance on the ground. I try my best to find a way up.
Somehow I manage to unlock the door and a hissing noise reaches my ears. The seal is broken and fresh air tickles my nose. My brain seems to explode in agony as my lungs fill with oxygen. I lose orientation completely as my vision slowly regains focus.
Sin: Well done. The airlock did the trick again. Some almost unused air stays in there.
I wake up in the med bay. The light is dimmed very low but Sin lets us see very well. Nothing special, very barren, very basic. The condition seems quite good. Someone seems to take good care of this room. I try to focus on myself. My head still hurts but much less. A door opens silently and slowly.
“How are you?”, a neutral voice asks. I raise myself onto my elbows and answer: “Better now. I don’t know how much longer I would have…” “Not much longer, we had quite some damage to repair, but you are young, you will be fine”, the voice disrupts me.
No lecture this time, they simply don’t like to be talked back to. “Can I clean myself somewhere?” “Sure, we have some guest quarters you will be living in until your craft is repaired, might take some days. Get some rest and make yourself useful if you feel better. We always need some more hands.”
I get on my feet: “I’d love to. Been hangin around too much.” They snicker: “Go on, you may leave. If you feel dizzy again or anything unusual, return here immediately. We will check again.” “Who are you?”, I ask, irritated by that kindness or lack thereof. “I’m in service and maintain this sick bay. You may call me Davi”, hard to read still after all this time. “I am… Progen”, I lie. I lie every time. I don’t have a name in this set. Never had, never will.
Sin: Your names get worse all the time. Maybe you do lose your mind after all this time?
Nil: His mind doesn’t seem deranged, I would diagnose bad taste instead. But then again Sin and Nil are not better than Sol or Progen. On the brighter side it is quite unique.
Sin: You mean, we will be remembered by name after getting laid?
Nil: Wouldn’t count on it if I were you.
Davi seems to measure my voice or simply doesn’t care to keep the conversation running, instead they turn back to their work. “‘was nice meetin you!” I bark low after them. I turn in the opposite direction and leave the sick bay. I reek of sweat and dirt. I can finally smell it. Maybe Davi has a very sensitive nose.
Sin: Do you even remember your last name?
Sol: I remember you always complaining about every single syllable of a name counting more than one.
Nil: Your memory seems intact and focused on necessities. I would say, you are not immediately endangered to loss of consistency or coherence.
Sol: For now at least.
Nil: Indeed.
Finally I can feel the breath of civilization on my body again. I get myself in prime condition for Sin is on the prowl and so am I. But first we gotta eat, drink and dance.
Sin: And then we fuck so hard.
I sigh, it is a blink of an eye as time is nothing to me. Everything flashes before my eyes. The food, the drinks, the lights, the clubs, the random strangers. Throwing up reels me back into the present. The extremes bind me in this endless undreamt space. It is my… origin set. At least this is the reason I believe in what brings me back here one time after another.
Sin: It doesn’t matter, follow the plan and be alert.
Sol: That is somethin Nil would say.
Sin: He is a slowpoke and fell behind. I guess he looks for an alt path for us. I have no idea of irony but I guess it is one bite of it as the future is returning to the past and the past is scouting ahead into the future.
Sol: On their endless quest of getting laid.
Sin: Of course not. Not only for this. We have more to do, unfortunately.
I wash my face and try to get rid of the bad aftertaste. Next to me is a guy, who gives me a dirty look: “You alrighty?” I laugh and smile: “Back in my game. Wanna hit it up?” He smiles and shakes his head. “Take it slow or you won’t last the night”, he advises. I nod and leave the restroom.
Sol: Did that guy look somewhat familiar?
Sin: We did him last time or the round before.
Sol: Why do we always end up here?
Nil: Excellent question. We take the party somewhere else. I found a way to leave earlier.
Sin: Finally. I already believed you wouldn’t show up. Sol already lost count of our…
Sol: I didn’t! Just three guys.
Sin: … of our drinks.
Sol: Well, you’re right. I lost count after we emptied our stomach in the other club.
Sin: You know, what I miss most?
Sol: Should I guess or do I already know?
Sin: Guess. You don’t know.
Sol: Then this is not the usual.
Sin: The past. When the lands and the stories concealed the deeper truth and made it acceptable. When the wind whispered my names.
Sol: You’re drunk.
Nil: You both are. We need to go to a bar called Red Eye. Tonight… in the early morning hours.
I totter out of this hole full of noise and blinding lights. Sin lays his arm around a stranger and asks: “Did you know that I once lived in the land of agony and thunder? I can tell you everything about it if you just show me the way to the Red Eye bar.” He smiles most probably because I slur. “I can take you there if you drink with me.” “I would rather do somethin else to ya”, I mumble under my breath.
“Sure thing”, I say hearably louder, “would love to.”
Some time later I stumble out of the toilet. I feel empty in a lot of ways. Internal, emotionally, digestively.
Sin: He was nice. Number four. I think I am done for today and would say my kiss good night.
I zip my jumpsuit back up, nobody cares about it. We are at the right part of this flying piece of space junk at the end of nowhere or just one jump away. Nobody cares but me. I get some water to sip before my headache returns and my painkillers subsede.
Nil: Let me do the talking. For now.
“You are quite the noisy lad”, someone sits right next to me, “would you like to squeal or bark for me?” I must look pretty beat and desperate. “No thank you, I am good”, Nil replies through my mouth. “I could do so much more to you than that slouch.” “He got it out of my system, you’re too late”, Nil insists.
“Or too early…” he grabs my shoulder and starts to squeeze it direly. But before a single groan can leave my lips someone else interrupts: “The boy said no. Now get yourself some manners.” The man loosens his grip on my shoulder and angrily turns towards the interruptor. Instead of a reply he simply complies and lets go of me, leaving. I keep holding my breath. I am astonished that I do.
Nil: Don’t worry, he is rough on the outside… but I guess also on the inside.
Another a bit older man sits next to me, a buddy of his across the table followed by a boy younger than myself and over a head taller. “Mind the company?” the buddy, my saviour asks jokingly. He has the charm of a scoundrel and I am not sure what Nil wants with him. “Listen, I am grateful, but I cannot take on anybody else today.”
The older man to my side snickers: “Not here for that, just for drinks and some… life.” The youngling, his voice gives him away to be younger than my body, complement: “and you seemed pretty lively in the restrooms as far I could hear.” The buddy starts to laugh. “What do you wanna know?”, I join in. “You are pretty keen for this part of this derelict station, are you just too drunk to care?” he asks bluntly. “Maybe”, I reply.
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