We are finally on our way to… somewhere only Leopold knows. I don’t really like road trips especially in an area where we go by something as primitive as a car. I can complain as much as I want, he is driving and not me which means we have an actual chance of surviving this trip. I called shotgun and Rufus and Ian are in the back being kids again.
“How long does this take?”, asks Rufus in the beginning. Ian joins in: “How far are we going?” The same questions they had when we proposed the idea. They didn’t directly cheer for it. Though Leopold had no convincing to do. None I became aware of. Cornelius protested some but one look from Rufus to me and back silenced him. Ian was way more chill with this, as long as he had no planning to do or driving or any other part meaning work. So it all was up to Leopold who seemed pretty prepared.
He turns up the volume of his favorite music and drives as he always does, independent and very canny. Rufus and I are dancing sitting in our seats whenever hits appear on the playlist. Ian just pouts, he got no moves. That’s why his girlfriend normally dances with Rufus, who has, as far I know, introduced her to Ian.
I normally don’t fancy girls at all for bodily intimacy but I feel the heaviness of the impact on this Anders. He is devastated indeed. I feel with him. From one gangbang space opera into a roadtrip with da boys because of heartfelt personal drama. What a gap to mind.
Sin: You just don’t see the bigger picture yet.
Sol: If it was your marvelous idea I most probably never will. I might be stupid but I am not as deranged as you try to appear.
We are stunned as Ian starts to sing along. He can sing. But I am the only one surprised. Rufus claps along and Leopold makes some beatbox noises. After a few songs -Ian really hits the high notes- Leopold claims: “I missed your singin, how come we never do this anymore?” Ian smiles and starts looking out of the window: “Don’t know, so much stuff changed.”
Rufus pats his back but is pushed away by Ian: “Don’t… please.” Rufus turns away and looks out of his window, I turn to Leopold who changes the music. Something darker and well, I am no pro at this, synth or techno style that gets him vibing. And I am not going to have a discussion about it with Leopold or Rufus. I just chill.
When we arrive it’s already sunset. The summer retreat of Leopold’s mother’s cousin or farther at the other side of the family tree. But it is for free and unoccupied. We got everything we need with us.. Rufus and Ian rush in. Rufus to start cooking, Ian because he needs to pee badly. He slept through our little stop. He always has had bad timing. Rufus on the other hand has been hungry for almost an hour and seems to be desperately craving for pasta.
Leopold sighs and smiles: “Just another long weekend trip with the kids.” I watch them running: “You sure they are the kids? And doesn’t that make us their parents?” “You catch on faster than the people say… if you keep this up, you can’t uphold the fuckboy image”, he smiles friendly, almost playfully at me and I smile back dumbstruck. But the realization hits me all the harder just a moment later.
“Hey!”, I exclaim but Leopold is already at the door shouting back: “You comin or what?” He carries the bigger of the remaining boxes. I have the smaller one. They are about the same weight. Just my bag is the biggest… I can’t decide what to wear. The others seem to be fine with way less variety.
First thing Leopold does inside is to continue playing that playlist he had going and starts dancing in the hallway. Rufus looks out of the kitchen: “Look at that. Still got them moves!” Ian returns from his excursion: “What the hell… I must’ve hit a time rift. Back in the day when we were 16.” All eyes are on him. Rufus is the first to make a move and shakes his head: “Whatever, dinner will be ready and served extremely hot in exactly 10 minutes.” Ian jumps in excitement like he did back in the day. Leopold joins in and pulls Ian close in a side hug: “Finally!”
I bring my box to one of the bedrooms and start preparing for the night. “Who is sharing with whom?”, I ask into the hall. “I thought you and me?”, Leopold gestures. Ian looks at him and then at me: “I don’t care. You all snore.” “You can have the couch!”, Rufus shouts from the kitchen. “No way!”, Ian shouts back storming into the room after checking the clock. He starts preparing the table.
We used to camp outside in the garden as kids. Climbed the trees and went swimming in the ocean. A forgotten piece of land. Next little village is almost an hour by foot away. I yawn as I step into the kitchen and see the food being already spread on plates.
“Pretty slow, come, sit, eat!”, Ian barks at me and I follow his orders. “How did you do this?”, I ask Rufus in astonishment. “Preparation”, as he digs in. “Leftovers”, Leopold adds. Ian hums chewing. “Can we… like keep our mouths closed while eating?”, I ask concerned. Rufus smiles and nods. Ian grins and covers his mouth with his hand instantly. Leopold sheepishly closes his lips around his fork and retrieves it deliberately slowly. “Thank you”, I smile happily and dig in.
Sol: I can’t recall why we are here.
Sin: Patience, youngling, patience. This is as close to family as you’ll ever come.
We eat, joke and talk. About any topic that comes to mind. My breakup. Ian’s girlfriend Lisa and their plans for the future. Rufus’ boyfriend Cornelius and how they are doing. Leopold being single and his asexuality. Something hard to process for three young men at the beginning of adulthood and their journey in sexuality. Especially because we have known each other since our time in preschool and never lost touch, we know a lot about each other. Not just the bodies but the souls, too.
Leopold is very smart and very curious. Ian used to be very curious, too. I remember when we compared sizes, he was very excited about almost every measurement. Most of course the Ds.
Nil: It always comes down to this for males.
Sin: Teenager Ds are not that exciting once you leave that lifestage. A big under development sign leaves little to no excitement for the now and all for the future.
Sol: But people seem to mix it up and remember the stressful self inquiry as an enlightening phase of experimentation.
Nil: Some might have had it that way and need it to have turned out good. As any other result would jeopardize their self-image.
Sin: Well, this Anders seems to have no trouble in reminiscing the past as a big exploration party.
Sol: He is not that simple, but he is fixated to bodily stuff. Or at least was and no longer wants to be.
Nil: There is hope for the hopeless.
Sin: And brain for the brainless?
Rufus cooking really does lift the mood. “That was extraordinary”, I assess my food finally. Rufus smiles and lowers his gaze: “Thank you. I made it yesterday and Cornelius didn’t like it. So I took it for today.” “Is he… like… dumb?”, Ian asks. Leopold shakes his head: “Different taste, no need to insult.” Ian calms down and assures: “Sorry. It is just really good, as is most of your cooking, Rufus.”
Leopold returns to the prior topic: “So how does dirty talk work for you?” Rufus gaze lifts: “It actually is arousing and funny at the same time. Maybe because I like to watch my phrasing. It is liberating and at least with Cornelius it is sexy, too.” Ian seems worried: “Lisa would never let me.” Leopold cares: “Dared to ask?” “We talked about… anal a few times. Not gonna happen.” I laugh: “Am I a bad influence?”
Ian starts doing the dishes. “I am sorry… it is not that special. Really. Just because I am helpless in that stuff, doesn’t mean it is good”, I correct myself. Ian sighs: “I know you don’t mean ill, but this is not about you.” Leopold helps drying the dishes. I mumble: “Damn.” Rufus pats my back: “Eat up. I put the leftovers in the fridge.”
Leopold starts rapping: “Put it in the fridge, put it in the fridge, bitch.” He repeats it over and over and Ian takes part, sings along. Rufus laughs and shakes his head.
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