We hit the sheets pretty late, talking about past and future, feeling mature and youthful at the same time.
Sin: Nice description for lost.
In the middle of the night I wake up. Leopold is snoring softly on his side of the bed. When he was younger he was a very clingy sleeper, hugging everyone and everything. I expected him to bang anything judging from his teen years. He was the horniest of us. Rufus was the least. I take a leak and refill my bladder… sounds wrong… as I hear a silent squeak. And another.
A certain rhythm to it. I wonder what it could be and am almost on my way back to my calling bed when I hear a deep passionate moan. It is hardly restrained, only a bit silenced, followed by heavy breathing. I know these noises but I am confused about their direction. I follow the sound to the bedroom of Ian and Rufus. I hear incomprehensible whispering and another moan. I am worried about Ian for a moment and grab the door knob.
“What are you doing here?”, Leopold whispers into my ear and I’m terribly frightened. “Shh”, I hiss at him. “Take it, you slut”, Rufus can be heard saying in a muffled voice. Followed what we know as orgasm sounds. “Does he really…?”, Leopold asks and I answer: “Just one way to find out.” So I open the door slowly but steadily. We see just silhouettes of the two. One bent over, the other behind. Both in profile. The behind slaps the ass and says: “Nice ride, bitch.” It is Rufus’ voice. The other silhouette turns its head to the door: “Oh shit.” It is indeed Ian’s voice.
“Would you mind closing the door?”, Rufus kindly suggests, “preferably from the outside… this is a private session.” I nod and do as I am told.
Next to me stands Leopold, overwhelmed: “Is this a dream?” We sit down in the kitchen. Both with a glass of water. “Should we talk to them tomorrow?”, Leopold considers, “or maybe never? It is none of our business.” I would normally agree, but these are our best friends… they have relationships… partners they deceive. Well, in theory.
Someone sprints to the bathroom. The other follows at a slower speed. After just a few minutes in the bathroom Rufus joins us in the kitchen. He is naked but doesn’t seem to mind: “The show is over but I do an encore. I needed to… clean up and now I dry while Ian occupies the bathroom. I am sure you have a few questions… or why are you waiting here?”
I look at him surprised: “When did you stop to shave man? You look like a little bear… well compared to how you looked.” Leopold looks down at himself, he clearly is the hairier of the two. “Since I have a boyfriend who doesn’t care and fucks me hard by default”, Rufus doesn’t sound aggressive at all. It is just his explanatory mode. Leopold looks at the slow fading erection. Rufus is very hard a very long time, always has been impressively excessive. He follows Leopold gaze and sighs: “Finally… it is going down.”
Leopold offers Rufus a seat next to him. He smells like lust and passion. He is quite well endowed, so I pity Ian for a moment. I can’t find the right words to say and Leopold just sidehugs Rufus. “Are you… mad or somethin?”, Leopold asks in my direction. I gulp my withdrawal: “I am not. None of you needs to tell or explain anything of this.” Ian startles us as he speaks up: “Well, it would be your fault anyway. You had no business in our bedroom.”
I smile: “If I hear noises in the night from just one person out of two saying something about taking it… I am… worried. I am relieved that worry clouded my judgment. You are just two horndogs doing each other and that is completely fine. I am sorry that I cut your special time short.” “You thought I was raped?”, Ian rages, “since when do you care about someone else?” “Relax Ian, he is not stepping on you, he just was concerned. For once. With his usual, impeccable timing. Just when I came”, Rufus tries to appease Ian.
Leopold bursts out laughing: “For realz?” Rufus nods shortly and smiles. Now Leopold just lists his questions to Ian: “Since when are you two a thing, know Lisa and Cornelius? How is it to take it? What’s your favorite position? Why don’t you use protection? How does it feel?”
“Leopold”, I interrupt him as I see Ian entering his defense stance. He is naked, too, and won’t sit down. Ian swallows hard: “I can’t.” Leopold takes a moment to comprehend and whispers an "Oh!". Rufus is seemingly proud of himself. “Oh stop it, you sick bastard”, Ian intervenes. “Since when are you fully shaved?”, Leopold blurts out.
“We haven’t seen each other a lot lately”, Rufus admits, “and the times simply changed. You and Anders go to the gym together… with me most of the boys are suddenly busy. Not even having a boyfriend changed that attitude. I always knew it would come down to this. Most of the guys did some experimenting with me and most are ashamed of it. Or are even proud of their openness.” I can feel that pinching.
I smile guilty and shrug: “Yeah we fooled around and it was good, wasn’t it?” “As if you ever cared about others”, Ian adds, “how often did you call you girls butt sluts, when it was over… sometimes even while still dating.” Suddenly I want to hide. This Anders… maybe even I am a terrible person.
“I am an idiot… over and over again”, I admit a bit broken and all of the sudden tired, “and a bad friend.” Leopold wants to say something but Rufus holds him back. I am looking in their faces and I realize the truth. I am completely self centered. At least as Anders. Probably even beyond being him. That is devastating and depressing.
Sol: Can we end this now, please? I got the point, neither you nor Nil could make.
Sin: Do you now?
Nil: For those who realize their flaws and can accept them as theirs, we have use. Laen failed this test miserably.
Sin: Did he? On the contrary I would say, he seems to do better without us. His latest visit to another set makes that irrefutably obvious.
“You two are not really better”, Leopold states, “you haven’t told him, okay. I could understand, but you didn’t tell me either. Care to elaborate?” Rufus smiles defensively: “Ok, you are right. We are not exactly proud of it. It is more a convenient purpose that binds us.” “If you wanted to keep it a secret, why did you want to share a room, if you know you are noisy?”, Leopold asks.
Ian mutters: “Was the first chance in weeks. We couldn’t hold back… and sorry if this sounded like you are a total ass of a person. You are just self centered, not mean or bad.” I sigh a bit relieved. “I find it so hot, when you are pissed”, Rufus giggles. “I am not pissed! I haven’t come in ages. I want my second round… now. We will talk in the morning, ok? Leo, you can ask me everything and I will try to answer… and I guess we will have to talk, too, Andy. Maybe I am just pissed, because you disturbed us and I am always the last to bust that fucking nut. Now can we please go at it, Ruf? I am freezing and I am antsy and I am damn horny”, Ian rattles down.
“Ruf?” Leopold asks. “He likes it rough”, Rufus explains, “including some dirty talk and you know… if you don’t, ask Andy, I got another load to deliver. He rises already at full attention. Ian’s eyes seem fixated. “Good night?”, Leopold asks. I smile, nod and add: “Sleep tight!” Ian grabs Rufus’ D and drags him along. “Watch it, Ian!” Rufus exclaims.
“We should call it a night”, Leopold suggests. I grin devilishly: “Want to be dragged like Rufus?” Leopold shakes his head: “As tempting as that sounds, I prefer walking on my own free… D? I am bad at this. Do you want to do something together?” “No, just messin with you. Do you miss the times, when everything was new and somehow innocent?”, I ask.
He shakes his head and gets up: “It is still too confusing but I learn to understand myself better from day to day. Won’t give up that progress. Still lots of insecurities and still that urge to… release that tension. Talking to Rufus really helps me the most. But you are pretty close. And you don’t mind my clinginess.” I smile: “Come on huggy bear. Let’s get to bed.” “No touching”, he whispers.
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