Kyouki shuffled into the dark house. He slid his shoes off at the entrance swaying as he kicked the shoes alongside the other pairs. The television still on in the living room cast a flickering light into the dining room. The stairs were quiet while he climbed them slowly, his head spinning. His sister, asleep on the couch, didn't need to know he had gotten back home so late. He nudged open his bedroom door and set his backpack down. He searched through his pajama drawer for the fluffy pajamas he wanted. It wasn't particularly cold this evening but he felt like he needed the comfort. He avoided trying to be quiet as he passed by his mother's room as that would be even more suspicious when he turned on the shower.
He flinched as he heard his mother's voice, "Kyouki?"
His voice cracked as he replied but she didn't respond. Kyouki made his way over to the bathroom staggering. A hand firmly clamped over his mouth he entered the bathroom quickly locking the door as he hurried to start the shower and take off his dirty clothes. He glanced at himself in the mirror, the blood from his nose and split lip had already dried on his tear stricken, blotchy face. His dirty blonde hair with darker strawberry blonde tips still stuck to his forehead from the sweat. He was immediately thankful that neither his sister or mother seemed keen on interacting this late. His jacket was haphazardly thrown over his shoulders. The stretched neckline of his blue shirt failed to hide the rope burns left on his neck as well as the horribly darkened bits of skin scattered across his chest. He visibly shuddered as the feeling of something awful slid over his skin. He threw himself beside the toilet missing not a second before the stomach acid burned his mouth. He leaned back on the toilet bowl covering his mouth so that his soft sobs couldn't be heard.
The water turned on and warmed up quickly. Kyouki let go of his breath. He had forgotten how much he liked the sound of the water. He glanced at himself again in the mirror. His dark blonde hair curled around his bruised face. He looked awful. Teal eyes looked back at him. He felt so dirty, and disgusted. He wanted to scream but he couldn't find the energy. It felt as if he had been drugged. Thinking for a moment he figured that he probably was in some way or another. That's why his mind was blurry. That's why he couldn't remember getting the sharp razor blade and climbing into the tub. That's why he didn't even stop to take off his clothes. That's why he couldn't even remember the blade sliding deep into the thin skin of his arm, inching past the muscle, and clacking against the bone before he quickly pulled it away. He wiped his nose with his arm spreading watered down blood across his face. He needed to be clean before he could get any sleep.
"Kyouki..." his sister's sleepy voice drifted through the door.
Kyouki froze at the sound of his sister's voice, she must have heard him throwing up before. He let his arm splash back into the water tinting it with his blood.
"Yes?" His voice wavered heavily.
"Are you okay in there?" She was mocking him.
He heard her fumbling with the door.
"Wait! Don't come in here please!" Kyouki said loud enough for her to hear the urgency in his voice but quiet enough to hopefully not awaken his mother.
"What is it?" she asked. "Is something wrong?" It was a mocking tone, again.
"I'm fine!" He said, "Just a little sick is all."
"Okay," she said, almost sing-song-y.
Kyouki breathed heavily as she left. He clutched at his now thoroughly soaked shirt as he calmed himself down. He vomited twice more as he scraped the filth off his body. The baldes slipped across a couple more places. Once he was done he redressed himself in his pajamas. Walking back to his room felt so long, his head spun and his feet padded clumsily across the floor. He felt feverish as he climbed into bed. Sitting he decided it was too hot to cover himself with the blankets. He was asleep almost instantly.
He didn't wake up that morning, in fact he didn't wake up until two days later. Kyouki blinked a couple times trying to get his bearings. Everything was so bright, everything was sore. There were tubes up his nose, in his arm, he was wearing an oxygen mask too. There were wires everywhere. His limbs were tightly wrapped in bandages. He was clearly in a hospital but how? Why did he end up here? He looked to his side hearing the soft beeping of a machine recording his heartbeats. No one was with him, he didn't feel like sitting up, like calling for someone. Fear dripped down his spine making him sob out in desperation. Panic surged through him, what had really happened, did he forget something? They knew, they knew, everyone did.
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