Breathe.

I had to remind myself every few minutes once we got off the boat and into our taxi. In nineteen years, Fernelle City barely changed. Tammy gawked over the towering buildings as I clung to the whistle in my pocket. The cold metal kept me grounded amid her squeaks and gasps of awe.

“How tall do these get?” she asked our taxi driver. “That one has to be a hundred floors, at least!”

He laughed and nodded. 

“That’s the Ethereal Tower, capital of the world! She’s 655 meters high, 127 floors, and the tallest building on the planet.”

“No way,” Tammy breathed in wonder.

I sighed internally. I leaned against my arm, elbow pressed into the window. She was happy. That was what mattered. That she was home and happy. I tried to focus on that.

“Now, your destination, Rosewood Manor?” the driver continued. “That’s truly something else! Even in its current state, I get plenty asking to drive past, just to get a look at it.”

My sigh turned audible. “Tourists. Great.”

He stammered, “Well, the trees- It’s just… When they bloom…”

“What’s it like?” asked Tammy, far more enthusiastic than I was.

The driver launched into his tourism spiel. Eight acres of land encased in low hedges and colorful dogwood trees. An open, sprawling mansion of treated wood inspired by our ancestral architecture. The two-hundred-year-old home of the Hisukes, left to Grace when she turned eighteen.

But it was so much more than that. Rosewood was soft blankets and hot baths. Fresh air and space and safety. Old magic. Strong magic. Our sanctuary.

“Most recently, it was an orphanage,” the driver told Tammy. “Oh, yeah. Miss Gracie and her good friend ran it. Took in all kinds right up until she passed away about twenty years ago. They housed and raised eighteen kids while they lived there, including our own Mayor Elizabeth Brown.”

“You know the mayor?” asked Tammy, starstruck.

“She wasn’t the mayor when I was around, but yes,” I said. “She’s Mom’s ‘good friend’s’ daughter. Practically my sister.”

Our driver shrugged. “Well, there’s also Hin-.”

“Yes. Hina. Thank you,” I growled, making the old man flinch.

“I have an aunt?”

I leaned back in my seat and sighed again. “Two. My twin sister, Hina, and Lizzy. Sal was Mom’s partner.”

Tammy gasped excitedly before deflating.

“So… Sal was Grandma’s good friend and partner?” she asked.

“We’ll talk more later,” I promised.

Tammy nodded sadly.

“I just thought- You didn’t tell me,” she said. “What else, Dad? Who else haven’t you told me about?”

“Well,” I said slowly, “I think Lizzy stayed single, but Hina married James. They probably have kids now, so you’ll have some cousins. Is Sal still around?”

The driver nodded, and Tammy perked up some again.

“That’s not too bad… What about Mom? Did she have any family?”

I felt somehow hot and cold simultaneously.

“We’ll talk more later,” I repeated firmly.

With a somber nod, Tammy resumed staring out the window and interrogating the taxi driver about the surrounding city. I shut my eyes. My chest and my grip on the whistle tightened. My thumb traced the engravings desperately.

Soon. Soon, I would have more moments. New moments, uncorrupted by hell of our past. Pure moments. Happy moments. Moments without… her.

The darkness in my mind lightened. My shadow stretched across a small, bare kitchen, the only light behind me. I reached for the switch.

“Luna?” I called.

“Don’t bother,” a cold voice said. “Shut the door.”

My throat tightened. A match flared quickly to light a cigarette and a pale, soft face before vanishing again, leaving only an ember behind. My hands shook as I did what she asked.

“Where is she?” I whispered.

“It’s your own fault,” she said softly. “You were supposed to do a simple job and come back to the clan.”

“What did you do?” I asked louder, shaking.

“I did what you told me to.”

Something pressed hard on my arm. Then on my sternum.

“Daddy, breathe.”

Right. Breathe. I clenched my fists with a shallow, shaky gasp, then released. And again. And again. And again. The air thinned and my body relaxed with each repetition. Eyes still shut, I put my hand on Tammy’s.

“Sorry,” I said.

“They’re going to get worse here, aren’t they?” she asked.

“At first. Better in time, I hope.” I smiled gently at her and said, “Don’t worry about me. Look.”

I pointed out the window, and she followed my gaze. Outside the taxi, pink and white petals covered the road like a silk sheet. A soft breeze stirred the purple leaves on the branches above. Deceptively calm. Beyond the limbs, a gentle slope lifted the road in graceful bends, guiding it to a wrought iron and stone fence. Eight acres of swooping hills, rare trees, and our new home… just behind that gate.

“Welcome to Rosewood Manor,” the driver said, stopping gently at the barrier. “Just open her up, and I’ll be happy to drive you in.”

Tammy glanced nervously at me. “Do we have-?”

“There’s no key,” I told her, opening my door and standing up.

I teetered my way to the gate, still a bit weak from before, and leaned against the bars for support. Sun-warmed, unyielding metal pressed back. They’d been cold, last time. Wet. My fingers twisted around the warm iron as I stared inside.

The green, pink, and red tiles of the roof poked over the trees below, either freshly cleaned or replaced. Probably the latter. Lizzy had promised renovations as part of our deal. What I could see of the walls looked… as expected. The once tan walls were now faded and gray. The brown wooden framing failed to maintain its former red vibrancy as well. Most of the manor hid behind half-molted trees, though. It had been so much prettier in the storm, illuminated by lightning. It was a shrine then. But now? It just represented abandonment and decay. Death.

“Daddy?”

I shook my head and straightened up. The vertical bars gave way to a round plate bearing a floral seal where the gates met. I placed my hand on it.

“Eluvarin,” I whispered.

A click. A rusty whine. The hinges pulled open, and I stepped aside. Tammy nodded and sat down in the car again. The taxi crept forward, stopping just inside the fence so I could rejoin them.

“Rosewood is guarded?” asked Tammy.

“Always has been,” I said. “Obviously, it needs… revitalizing every few years, but… Yes.  Lizzy will show me what to do, I’m sure. She should be here. Said she would.”

“Well, that explains one of the cars,” Tammy muttered.

“Eh?”

I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. As the house came into proper view, three cars and a moving van encircled a defunct fountain out front. I groaned at the “Jinori is my copilot” bumper sticker.

“Hina,” I breathed. “I’m sure James and the kids, too.”

“At least our things got here before we did,” Tammy offered hopefully.

I nodded and started clenching my fists in time with my breathing, mimicking my lungs with my hands. Once I was sure I was calm enough, I climbed out of the cab. Tammy was already at the front steps. I paid our driver while she gawked.

“It’s beautiful,” she sighed.

“Used to be.”

“This is right. It feels right, Dad. It feels like… I’m home,” she told me.

I nodded sadly. I’d felt that way, too, once. I missed it, especially when it stormed. But that feeling was gone, and all I wanted was a cigarette. Ugh. That was a strange sensation after fifteen years without.

Suitcases in hand, I followed Tammy onto the porch as the taxi left. She picked at a sticker on the window while I knocked. The door opened quickly and arms wrapped around me. A puff of brown hair invaded my sight. I smirked.

“Hello, Lizzy.”

She pulled away with a smile, hands on my arms, and said, “You were never one for hugs, I know, but… I actually missed you!”

“Sure. And Hina?” I asked.

Lizzy sighed and looked away. Her age showed heavily in her gray eyes and the heavy lines around them.

“I was hoping you two could work things out.”

“And what did Sal say?”

“That blood isn’t everything.”

I snorted. “Maybe listen to her next time, okay?”

“Sorry…”

“It was going to happen eventually,” I grunted. “I won't be pressing charges.”

Lizzy cocked her head. “For-?”

“Tammy,” I called, “come see your Aunt Lizzy.”

Lizzy covered her mouth as Tammy towards us.

“Oh, look how big you are!” Lizzy crooned. “You were so small- Oh, you look just like Luna. Well, if she colored her hair and- you have Gekkou’s eyes, of course.”

“I only see her nose,” I grumbled, heading inside.

“Nonsense! She doesn’t have the resting bitch face to look like you.”

I heard Tammy laugh and say, “Sometimes I do! But thanks, Auntie Lizzy.”

The first room - Mom called it a parlor, but it was more just an entryway - was blissfully empty, but I could hear the clamor beyond the door. Lots of kids. It made me want to bang my head against the wall. Instead, I put down the suitcases and sat on one. I winced at a phantom pain in the left side of my face and rubbed my cheek.

“Daddy?”

I glanced up with a forced smile. Tammy and Liz watched me as they entered. Tammy grabbed my hand.

“If it’s too much,” she said softly, “we can ask them to leave.”

I sighed. “No. No, better to just… get it over with.”

“If there’s going to be trouble-,” Lizzy started, but I waved her off.

“I’ll be fine. Just be sure we have ice,” I told her. “You know fighting it only makes things worse, Liz.”

“Right,” she breathed, hugging Tammy to her side.

“What did you see, Daddy?”

“Just stay close to Lizzy. It’ll be fine.”

I stood up and gestured for the girls to go inside. Tammy glowered at me as Lizzy guided her into the living room. I followed closely.

I never liked crowds. Or kids, really.

Yet, my new living room was filled with them. Five of them, to be exact. Two little girls ran amok and squealed at each other. Probably barely in school, if I had to guess. A curly-haired teenager chased them with a damp cloth, never taking her own violet eyes off of them. The only boy - a preteen also sporting purple eyes and thick, rich black hair - stayed close to James’ side, holding his free hand. Another raven girl in headphones, barely a teenager herself, fidgeted impatiently with a key ring while my sister chided her.

My sister. That was a changed woman. Dark shadows and the beginnings of wrinkles aged her beyond Lizzy, somehow. Her previously vibrant wardrobe was tamed to muted beige and ivory. Still thin, though, and fit enough to do some damage later, I didn’t doubt.

James looked more beat down than I did as he leaned on a cane for support. His once wild sand-blonde hair was now cut short, tidy, and peppered with white. Those brown eyes, though, hadn’t changed a bit. Stern. Hard. Older than the rest of him. Even so, he was far from the most imposing figure in the room. That honor belonged to Sal, a thick woman sitting on a loveseat chewing something.

“Tammy,” Lizzy said, approaching the couch, “this is my mom, Sal.”

Sal didn’t move much, but she did smile. Her gray hair shot wildly out from her head, likely the reason it was so short, and she wore a basic tee and jeans. Weathered skin betrayed her years, as did the scars over her left eye. The light brown iris had once matched the other before a milky film had overtaken it. Tammy reached out her hand.

“You were grandma’s partner, right?” she asked.

Sal nodded as Lizzy pushed Tammy’s hand down.

“Yep. She was a good one,” Sal said, her voice surprisingly strong compared to the rest of her. “Gum?”

“Um…”

Sal reached into a pocket and withdrew a package of strawberry gum. Tammy muttered acceptance, and Sal held a piece up. Lizzy took it and passed it to Tammy with a sigh.

“And this,” the mayor said firmly, “is why you shouldn’t do drugs.”

“What are you, my parole officer?”

Tammy blinked in shock. “You have a parole officer?”

“Had,” Sal chuckled. “That old shit retired because of me.”

“She retired because she was sixty, Mom.”

Sal smirked. “Think what you want. I drove that woman mad.”

“Not something to brag about,” Lizzy sighed.

“And if it were,” I said gently, “I’d have you beat anyway.”

Sal’s head flicked to the side.

“Is that Gekkou?” she asked quietly. “Our lost boy’s come home again?”

I chuckled and sat down on the sofa next to her. She held a hand up, and I leaned into it. She started laughing and hugging me.

“Lizzy said she was ending your banishment, but… I didn’t think you’d come.”

“How could I refuse?” I pulled away again, asking, “What about you? Can’t see at all now?”

She sighed. “I needed help coping. Lizzy’s watching over me now, but she didn’t catch me in time to save my good eye.”

“What did you expect, after what happened to the other?” I asked.

“Tammy, could you sit with Mom while your dad and I talk?” asked Lizzy.