The guy with the dreadlocks is apparently called Bharin, he’s from Rotterdam originally. Alex is from some village in Limburg I’ve already filed as not important. They have another friend named Lars, but I haven’t seen him yet. He’s at the other squat packing up stuff. The three of them have phones, which is convenient. They also come across as slightly more professional, but I sincerely doubt they’re into anything legitimate, although they did say Lars is a painter.

I wonder if they mean painting houses or art, but I’m not asking.

Maybe I should, for these people are supposed to be my new family. It’s a weird feeling, and I’m not sure whether it’s happy or sad. But I’ve cried enough for the rest of my life, so I’m gonna make do with happy.

The beers are helping in that respect. Even if I prefer them chilled. I guess I’ll have to get used to lukewarm drinks, it’s not like we can plug in a refrigerator at this point.

We’ve removed some of the hardboard that was covering the windows from the inside, but only on the windows that look out at the loading dock. We can’t remove the streetview ones until it’s official, Alex stated.

With a little light inside, we’ve managed to assess the damage, and it doesn’t look good. Either the people that used to work here decided to trash the place in an exuberant goodbye party, or there have been other temporary habitants in here before it got boarded up.

I still have no idea what the sticky mess on a lot of the floors is, but there’s garbage lying around everywhere. Broken bottles too. Joshua stepped in one when he was trying to break free a window. Lucky for him he’s always wearing combat boots. If I had stepped in that with my sneakers, I’d have needed stitches and at least a tetanus shot. And God knows what else.

It’s the first time in my life that I have the urge to clean something. It’s a whole novel experience, but I’m not prepared to sit on this floor before I’ve done something about it.

Jasmin and Anna decided to rob the supermarket of cleaning supplies. I think that’s an incredibly stupid idea, but I’m not prepared to hand them this month’s pay and tips I’ve gotten Sunday. It’s my last money, and I don’t want to be thinking of what to do when it runs out. Which is probably very soon either way.

Nope. Not thinking about that.

Instead, I’m wracking my brain over how to get running water in here. The taps are disconnected, as is the electricity. Not unexpected, but definitely too bad. As I scout out the surroundings, I find an outside tap in the loading dock that still works and wash my hands. The sticky shit doesn’t completely come off, but we can work with this.

I point out the waterpoint to Alex, who immediately called Bahrin to bring a hose and a bucket. Great. We don’t have to buy those.

Turns out he was bringing over cleaning supplies anyway, so no need for Anna and Jasmine to get arrested trying to procure those either. I feel like I did a good job so far.

Bharin and Joris arrive with the stuff not 30 minutes later, and we spend most of the day cleaning up and arranging the two adjacent rooms that do have access to an appropriate amount of daylight. One is a big office with remnants of cubicle walls. We drag them over to the corners to create four separate sleeping area’s for the time being. Three of them already contain ragged mattresses that they brought over from the other squat. 

I put my air mattress and sleeping gear in the fourth. There’s no pump, so I’m exhausted after I’ve finally managed to fill it with air from my lungs.

The other room is a kitchenette. The tap doesn’t run, but we’ve managed to redirect the hose there, so there’s at least drinking water available in a space where we can see it. And it has a portable camping stove. Alex used it to make coffee earlier, and now the girls are making a large pot of tomato soup for dinner.

Okay, maybe they’re warming up the cans they got from the LIDL, but it’s food.

Joshua is taking pictures, because apparently, in three days we need to be able to put out the word that we’ve been living here since now.

Bharinn also brought a portable lamp that we used to shed some light on the state of the nearest toilet, which we clean to the best of our abilities. It hasn’t got running water either, but it does mechanically flush, so as long as everyone only needs to pee and uses no paper, it won’t overflow.

I try not to think about what happens when people need to do more than pee.

Or what we’re all gonna smell like in a couple of days.

In fact, I try not to think about anything than the tasks I’m appointed to, and how nice it is that everybody’s being so impressed with my performance. At one point even gruff Bharin ruffled my hair and told me he may have underestimated me. It meant the world.

My new phone and earbuds are still buried deep in my backpack. I wanted to take it out earlier, swap the sim and hand over my old broken phone to someone else, but something is stopping me. Something about myself I loathe.

Joshua told Alex and Bharin he trusts me. But if I’m completely honest, I can’t say the same about them. It’s eating at me. These people are my new family. Why would I be afraid they’d steal my stuff?

I’m telling myself I’m not taking out the phone because I have no use for it other than a flashlight, since I’ve put it on flight mode. But I know I’m partially lying to myself.

However, the gnawing feeling in my gut instantly dissipates when Ogon shows up with Yinthas and Ivanka. Now I can just tell myself I anticipated that Ogon would be here, and that therefore I’d never leave anything valuable lying around. Anyone would understand.

Why is Ogon here anyway? He’s got an apartment. Also, since Alex and Bharin are so big on trust, why did they even let him in?

Part of me knows the answer, but again, I'm not thinking about that.

Soon we all settle down for dinner and more drinks. It’s slowly getting dark outside, and we’ve did enough for today, so as Anna so enthusiastically pointed out: party’s on. We’ve put up two strings of battery powered party lights from the So-Low, and a whole bunch of tea lights. They brought a bag with a hundred of them, so we’ve got enough to create an actual ambiance as we sit down in a circle on the newly scrubbed laminate.

Joshua’s tepid beer supply has run out hours ago, but Lars and his girlfriend Karina showed up with two bottles of cheap vodka, Anne and Jasmine apparently managed to sneak out three cartons of white wine from the supermarket when they went to buy the soup and bread as well, and I still have the gin I brought.

Alex, Bharin and Joris are discussing what to do with the various spaces and how to go about the upcoming days. I listen with rapt attention to their plans, and even think up some suggestions of my own. I don’t know if they’re taking them seriously, but at least Alex smiles at me for contributing.

He’s got a great smile. I like the fact that his perfect teeth and dimples contrast with the dark brown scruff on his face that’s not quite a beard and not quite a twelve-o-clock shadow. His brown hair is of medium length, which I only notice now he let it down from his bun to crown his angular face. He’s got nice cheekbones too.

Maybe I’m a little drunk already.

I make my way over to Lars, who’s been absent-mindedly doodling while his girlfriend is using him as a backrest. I’m curious about the drawings, since he’s a painter and all, but I’m in no way ready for what I see.

He’s drawn a completely photographically real portrait of Jasmine and Anna. Their faces lit by the flickering flames of the tea lights around us. Anna’s face so bright and open, her enthusiasm radiates from the page. Jasmine is looking at her with something like awe in her eyes. I’ve never noticed that before, but as my gaze slides from the drawing to the actual models, I can see it too. 

It’s amazing.

I tell Lars so, and he gives me a slight smile. I gather he’s not one for conversation, but he lets me flip through his sketchbook instead. There are numerous drawings. Mostly of people, but also a couple of a cat in various poses of felinehood. I falter when I see a portrait of Alex lounging on a couch in utter relaxation, but quickly turn the page as soon as I notice I’m staring. Next one is a close up of Bharin smiling so wide it reaches his eyes. 

When I flip over another page I find a naked woman in such detail, it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Especially because the long-legged brunette is currently occupying a space not 30 centimetres away from me.

“Hey!” Karina exclaims, slapping the book closed in my hands. “Don’t show those to everyone!”

“But you’re so beautiful…” Lars tempts to cajole her into not being mad. But seriously, these drawings are so real, he might as well have shown me a picture. If anyone would ever show my naked pics to guys they just met, I’d give them more than an earful.

Not that anyone would ever have any naked pictures of me though. Not just because I’m not stupid enough to let anyone take them, but even more so because who would even want those?

“Okay let’s play a game!” Anna suddenly yells. She was clearly done sitting about and jumped up in the middle of the circle.

“Now I’ve got your attention: who’s got music?”

“Oh! Right!” Karina jumps up and procures a very old CD-player on batteries. She presses play and Miley Cyrus booms from the speakers.

“Shush!” Bharin growls at her, and she instantly turns it down to a more respectable volume. I’m still startled a thing like that can even be that loud in the first place.

Anna immediately starts shaking her ass for about one chorus, ending her performance with a twirl before sitting back down next to Jasmine.

"Now, let's play a drinking game!"