Sitting by the fireplace was a luxury that I honestly could never explain. It was a heavy winter, but it was filled with festivities. Finally, the parties were over. Alester seemed to be tired out about them, but the one that was being thrown right now was just the servants, himself, and family. His mother was sitting on the couch with her husband. Alester was sitting in the arm chair, rubbing Nyx’s head. Winston was curled up between my legs as I played a quiet card game with Finnigan and Jeremy. Althea and Penelope were at home with their family, and I couldn’t take the train to see mine because of the snow. Jeremy had already seen his family, and was going to see them again the first week of the new year. “Clemintine, we’ve never seen your parents.” I looked over at whoever on the couch said that. “I’ll bring them over with me then, if you want to meet them at least. They’re low maintenance and can take care of themselves, even if they seem or look old to you.” Mr. Gregerson nodded, for he was the one who said that. 

“Your parents seem to be nice though, so I don’t see how we would treat them as if they were disabled.” I laughed a little. “I know, but people still do either way. Plus, I love my parents and if they need help, they would come to me. Regardless of who says they can help.” He nodded his head again. Alester had stopped rubbing Nyx’s head. “You mention your parents, but you never seem to really talk fond of them, unless I just never hear it?” I smiled. “I was taught not to talk about your parents in the workplace, unless it is absolutely necessary.” He sighed. “That is true, you did catch me there.” I smiled again, and laughed a little. “Well, how about this spring you can see them, or when the snow thaws a little more?” He nodded, seeming excited. Was there something I was missing? Something seemed a little off… shouldn’t he be wanting to not see my family? He didn’t, as far as I know, ask so much about the other’s families. What was so special about mine? 

We were soon all heading to bed, when Alester pulled me over. “Something is on your mind, I can tell.” I looked into his dark blue eyes. “Yes, there is something on my mind.” He didn’t realise that he was holding my hand now, and I didn’t say anything about it. They were warm, bigger than mine, in a good way- and he held them without hurting me. “Tell me.” I looked away a little, feeling my face fluster slightly. “W-well, uh, I hope you don’t get mad at me on this, mainly because I don’t know if this is true.. But, uhm… you never really ask the others about their families, parents, siblings, whatever it is.. Unless i’m just mistaken- I- I don’t want to make a scene or something about it.. And I probably am, hahaa…. I’m sorry, sir. I’ll just, uhm, go to bed now..?” I was about to turn, when he gave my hand a firm squeeze. “Stay a second.” I looked back at him, and nodded. “I asked, mainly because I want to meet them. They seem great. I’ve met everyone except Finnigan’s family, mainly because his is in India.” I nodded my head. 

“But… There is another reason.. And, that will be revealed in the spring.” I was so confused now. Another reason? Revealed in the spring? What reason? I was about to ask him, but then I realised he was just shutting his door. I looked down at my hand. It was growing cold again, but the lingering warmth, and also realisation, made my face flush a bright red. I shook my head, and went to my room. My face was still flushed a bright red as I slid against my now closed door, settling myself on the floor. I buried my face in my arms that were crossed over my knees. “Let me sort myself out..” I muttered to Winston as he sniffed my hands. He was already in my room while that transpired, and he jumped down from the bed to come and see what was going on. “So.. Winston, we held hands a little. He seemed genuine… he also had some nice hands… gah! What is wrong with me! I can’t be doing this!” I couldn’t help but raise my voice a little when I finished off. 

Soon, there was a gentle knock on the door. I opened it a little, and saw Alester’s face. “Are you alright?” I gripped the door a little. “I-I’m fine..” He frowned. “Something is wrong.” I shook my head, and soon hid it behind the door. After a few minutes, I let him into my room. He came in, and sat down on the desk chair. I shut my door, and looked at him. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?” I frowned a little, and soon started to pick at my nails. “U-uhm…” I felt my face redden even more than it already was. “Uh.. well… umm…” I picked at my nails a little harder. “Take your time.” I shifted a little, feeling awkward, and moved closer to where he was sitting. He soon reached me, and took my hands. He separated them from each other, and I looked down, noticing that I had made my finger bleed a little. “Don’t hurt yourself please..” I nodded my head. “T-The med kit is in the bottom drawer.” 

He took care of it, seeming gentle. Ok, he was actually very gentle to me. “Now, take your time in telling me what is wrong.” My face felt like it was going to explode because it felt so hot, I could tell that it was really red. “W-Well, nothing is uhm, wrong with you… it's me.. There’s something wrong.. Terribly wrong with me..” He cocked his head to the side, confused. “What do you mean?” I bit the bottom of my lip a little. “W-Well.. Uhm.. you can fire me for this… but, uhm.. I have an attraction to uhm… the uh… well… uh..” I bit my bottom lip again before speaking. “I have an attraction to the same gender as me.. I like m-men..” I turned my head to the side, feeling my eyes well up. He squeezed my hands, tight before kissing them. I looked at him, surprised by this behaviour, but sceptical that he could be mocking me, making fun of me, teasing me. But instead of that, I saw that he was trying to cover the fact that his eyes were welling up as well. I soon slipped my now bandaged hand out from his grips, and traced the side of his face before moving it to wipe the tears now streaming down my face, cooling my flustered face a little. Sort of like calming rivers, except tear edition.

Our eyes met, and stayed locked for a while before I said something. “I’m sorry..” I said, choking it out and laughing a little. He gave off a weak smile, his own face now wet with tears. “I should be the one who is sorry, I just want you to know.. I’m not upset, disgusted, or just anything like that. I’m just like you. Women were never for me.. And I know that it’s illegal, a sin, just something awful to be like this… maybe in the future it’ll be legal, maybe we won’t be persecuted against..” I felt him give my hand another kiss. I soon pulled it away. “I… I can’t do this with you, Alester.. It’s- Mm… it just doesn’t feel right to be in love with my employer.. I..” I watched him as he nodded. “I’ll still wait for you if you change your mind.” I nodded my head. He soon stood, pulled me into a hug, and at that point, I gripped his nightshirt in my fists. He was about to pull away, but I pulled him back. “Please.. Don’t let me go.” He held me tight for a few minutes before I lessened my grip, and his nightshirt slipped out of my hands. We looked at eachother, and he soon left. 

I woke up, feeling a little lighter. It’s been a good amount of time since I felt lighter again, but yet dread set in. I’d have to see him again.. I can’t avoid him, unless I leave. And I’m not going to run away from him. I got up, took care of myself, and gave off a small groan at the slight bloatedness from crying. “Jesus to Jenny… this has to go.” I whispered, poking the slightly bloated under bags, frowning as I looked at myself in the looking glass. I shook my head, and finished buttoning up my shirt before running straight into the back of Alester going to the stairs. He turned around, and soon we were both laughing a little. “Sorry about that, uh, C-Clemintine.” I nodded. “I wasn’t really uh, paying attention either..” We both stood there a little awkward, which got worse when he tried having me go down the stairs first. After we sorted it out, and got to the kitchen, there was no one there. I looked at him, he looked at me. “Alester.. I just want to say that i’m sorry..” He pulled me into a hug, and placed a small kiss on the top of my head. “You’re short.” I pushed away from him a little. “And you like me, so shut up.” He smiled. “Mm. It’s gonna be hard to not want to uh.. Well, court you without suspicion. I still haven’t told my parents..” I nodded a little. “My parents know that I like men.. We had a talk about it before they kicked me out.. I guess they warmed up to the fact that I'm not weird like the other homosexual people can be.”

He laughed, and laughed hard at that. “I’m not like that either.” I smiled at him. “Next season, I'll give you my answer.” He frowned a little, confused. “What do you mean?” My smile got wider. “You’ll see what I mean in a little while.” He frowned, and soon let go of me. “Anyways, what do you want to have for breakfast?” I looked at him again. “Are you going to make something?” He nodded. “I want to impress you with my skills.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Surprise me. I’ll make you some coffee though.” He nodded. My bandaged finger lifted the lid to where the coffee grounds were stored. I boiled the coffee kettle on the stove, and soon put the grounds in so that they would settle at the bottom. It was a good ten or more minutes before we had coffee, and he was done with his creation. I looked at the plate of pancakes in front of me. “They’re not that presentable… but, they hopefully taste better than they look..?” I smiled wider, and soon giggled a little. “They look wonderful.” He nodded, and wrung his hands together. 

It was a few hours later before anyone was up, and I was working on the basket of things I had to work on. He was reading the paper, sitting on the arm of the chair I was sitting in. He would occasionally show me things in the paper, but he didn’t bring much of a disturbance. Althea and Penelope arrived, and saw us sitting in the living room, Alester showing me something in the paper. Althea called me in, which I went to help her and Penelope with getting breakfast around when everyone soon came downstairs. It was a few hours later, Alester’s parents had left, and Jeremy was packing to go and see his parents. Althea and Penelope were showing me a few things that they got from their family, and I was listening to their stories as they told them to me. Soon, Althea retired to her room, and Aarnav and Penelope went off to do something. Alester was in his room now, so I settled on going up there. I took my stuff, and went to his room. I knocked on the door to have it quickly open.