The Jeep was silent, all that could be heard was the engine; and the soft singing on the radio. Pretty sure it was a love song...but it sounded sad. I knew I had messed up, asking Nate if we could be friends instead of mates. He had agreed, but I could hear his heart breaking as he said the words. I was an awful person...I already knew I didn't deserve Nate as my mate. 

"We're going to the lake first, not a lot of people go there this early in the Spring so we should get some privacy."

"What do friends need privacy for?"

Nate's snarky remark caught me off guard, he really was my perfect match...Goddess help me. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and noticed he was almost hugging the door, trying to keep far away from me. I supposed he was respecting my wishes and also silently telling me 'fuck you'. 

"Unless you want the whole pack to know your whole life's story."

"I'm out and proud my dude. I don't give a flying fuck if someone figures out I'm gay."

Good lords, I didn't know how long I was going to be able to resist him; even without the mate bond slowly forming, I would be attracted to the golden man beside me. His voice didn't quite match his appearance, it was much deeper than someone would expect from his dancer's build...I wondered if he actually danced--maybe he was a swimmer? I could just ask, but in his current mood I didn't think he'd give me an honest answer. I drove in silence, only the radio broke through; I needed to man up, take the beating my father would surely give me once I told him. I could just challenge my father for the position of Alpha. I was eighteen, unfortunately Alpha Challenges were always to the death...could I kill my own father? I glanced at Nate again, and decided that I would if my dad threatened Nate directly. I'd kill anyone that threatened my mate. I was just scared...scared of Nate? No, well a little bit, I was mostly scared of this cosmic confirmation that I was in fact gay. 

The turn off from the main road was pretty obscure, I doubted a new transfer would have found it alone, and Nate seemed fascinated by the red woods and old growth; he was going to enjoy running in wolf form around here. I wondered if his wolf was as golden as he was; was he just as snarky, sarcastic, and unpredictable as his human side? What was his wolf's name? I had so many questions for the man beside me, and I didn't think he'd answer any of them because of how badly I had already screwed up...but I could try right?

I parked my Jeep in the clearing, the path to the lake was too narrow for any kind of vehicle short of an all terrain vehicle or a dirt bike. I took the picnic basket I'd brought along from the backseat and got out, Nate followed close behind me; he looked confused and curious, honestly I confused myself. A picnic screamed 'date' and not a platonic one. 

"So, do you have any hobbies?" I asked once we were a good ways into the forest,

"I dance, I was on the swim team; well I was the captain, I took up Judo for awhile. It came in handy with warrior training. By the time I was fourteen, I was helping my dad train the veteran warriors. Let's see, Beck and I were into comics--mostly superhero stuff. Sam and I...before he died, we read a lot of manga and watched the matching anime. I stopped doing that after he died though."

"Beck and Sam?"

"Beckham is the next Alpha of Purple Moon, he's also my best friend. I swear we're platonic mates, even though I don't think they exist. Sam, he was Beck and I's best friend...the three of us grew up together. We were going to run the pack together. Beck was going to be Alpha, I was going to be Beta, and Sam was going to be Delta. Sam died in a Rogue attack last year. Beck didn't get there in time, and I was knocked unconscious."

"I'm so sorry Nate."

"It's not your fault. It comes with being a werewolf." 

I felt like an ass for making him relive the worst day of his life...but I was shocked to find out he was supposed to be the next Beta of Purple Moon...or that he was training warrior wolves at fourteen. My mate was impressive, and this pack was lucky we got his family in the transfer. Especially me.

"What's your favorite anime then?"

"How long do you have? I can go by genre."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, he was slowly coming out of his shell around me...or at the very least I thought he was possibly on the verge of forgiving me for my 'can we be friends' comment I made.

"We've got time." 

"Well, if I want something darker; my favorite would be Death Note, for a fluffy romance Sasaki and Miyano, for a compelling romance with some trauma, Anohana or A Silent Voice, for fantasy...Fairy Tail, Isekai would be Inuyasha. Action...Black Clover or Naruto. Can't really decide."

"Maybe we can watch some of those together?"

"As friends? I only watch anime with my besties or a guy I'm interested in. If its as friends, we don't share blankets and you don't get my colorful commentary."

He didn't play fair, the very thought of sharing a blanket with him, and him whispering his thoughts about whatever we happened to be watching; was very hard to resist. This man was going to be the death of me. We broke through the trees, and I heard Nate's appreciative gasp as he took in the view for the first time. Lake Luna was a beautiful place and I was pleased that Nate liked it, it was the crown jewel of the pack lands.

I walked down the the beach and spread out the blanket, Nate followed me; but he had a devious twinkle in his eyes...before I could ask what he was planning, he was taking off his shirt,

"Boy, that hike really worked up a sweat. Its so warm on the west coast compared to home." 

I tried not to salivate at the sight of my shirtless mate. His well defined muscles glinted with a light sheen of sweat; which made pornographic images of me licking said muscles clean spring to the forefront of my mind. Ah hell, I was going to give into temptation sometime today and owe Malcolm twenty bucks. I cleared my throat as I continued to pretend not to have noticed Nate's amazing body...but I don't think I was fooling him. I wasn't even fooling myself at this point.

"What if we kept it a secret? Until you were ready to confront your dad?" 

I jumped a little, I hadn't realized Nate had gotten so close. I thought over his proposal...I had never kept a secret from my dad--unless one would count my sexuality. This pack didn't keep secrets well, and there wasn't many lgbtqia+ supporters within the pack...but the thought of sneaking around with Nate, stealing kisses, and touching hands discretely in the halls sounded sexy as hell. Forbidden, Nate was forbidden fruit and I desperately wanted a taste.

"You don't know how dangerous my dad can be."

"I can take care of myself Neo."

"But..."

"You deserve to be happy. Would being with me, really being with me, make you happy?"

I didn't have to give that much thought, yeah being with my destined mate would make me happy. Extremely happy and Nate was willing to accomodate my fears just to be with me. How could I resist that? How could I resist him when he was so damn close that I could count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, the flecks of green in his otherwise golden eyes, the way a droplet of sweat was rolling down his temple and over his prominent cheekbone? I closed the distance between us slowly, unsure if this is what he meant...but I wasn't met with resistance; instead Nate placed a calloused hand behind my neck and brought my lips to meet his.

I remember reading gay romance novels, the protagionist always said the first kiss was like magic. Fireworks erupting and the world melting away. They weren't wrong. My friends had described kissing their mate for the first time, and how their mate's lips and kisses erased the memory of every kiss and touch that came before and ruined any other in the future. That's how it felt with Nate...it was magical, it was perfect...I pushed against Nate until he was laying on his back on the blanket, I wanted more. No, I needed more. I needed to taste his skin, clean his muscles with my tongue like I had envisioned earlier. Once his lips were free, Nate moaned and it was the most beautiful, arousing sound I had ever heard...and no one else would ever have the privilege of hearing it. 

"Happy Birthday to me." Nate moaned,

I paused, it was his birthday...today?! 

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

"Why'd you stop?! This is a great birthday so far, I have my mate, I got my first kiss, and soon I'll be covered in hickies." 

I dropped my head onto his chest and let out an exasperated chuckle...how was it possible that I was already in love with him? I snuggled up to him, my head resting in the crook of his neck and just held him. Listening to his steady heartbeat was quickly becoming my favorite thing, I forgot the rest of the world; including my father and our daily sparring session. It wasn't until the sun was beginning to set, that my phone began to frantically vibrate in my pocket. It was enough to rouse me from my blissed stupor, with a groan I reached to answer it and bolted upright when I realized it was my father calling.

"Shit!"

"What's wrong?!" Nate asked, bolting upright and reaching for his shirt,

"My dad, he's calling."

"Well answer it, dumbass."

Ignoring his jibe at my intellect, I answered the call and braced myself; was he going to yell? Probably.

"Noah where the hell are you?"

"I was showing the new kid around the pack and lost track of time."

Silence, surely Dad would understand me taking Nate under my wing and extending an offer of friendship...he had afterall signed the ally treaty with the Purple Moon; he must've requested the transfer as well,

"Well take him home and get to the training grounds, or better yet; bring him with you. I want to see what he's got."

"Alright, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

The call disconnected and I turned to Nate, who looked very nervous. He should be, my dad was not a pleasant man.

"So...meeting the parents already."

"Maybe don't phrase it like that. This could very much end in an Alpha's Challenge."

Nate didn't say anything, instead he took me in his arms and held me tightly; I felt so safe here--enclosed in his arms. Nate kissed the top of my head, and breathed in my scent before responding,

"I believe in you. If it comes down to it, and you have to challenge your father; I have faith that you will win."

"I wish I had that confidence."

"You're eighteen, a little gayling. The confidence will come."

"Gayling?"

"Yeah, like a baby bird. You just embraced your true self, you don't have the confidence of a might Eagle just yet, but you will."

I knew he was right, and he was making light of what could be a tragic situation...his heart was no longer steady, it was beating to a nervous rhythm. As much as I wanted to stay there in his arms; I knew it was time to face the music.