(Some time later)
-Ey Pete can you solve this task
-Unfortunately not
-How is this possible after all you are a genius
-But not in everything, good quiet
-And tell me when are you finally going to start doing PE?
-I
-ey something is happening
-Mr Williams are you all right?
-Yes yes- good thing Mr Davies interrupted my answer because I don't know what I would have said
I have to finally tell him about my illness because he is already starting to suspect something, I don't know what to do I'm terribly scared. I have an operation soon and I have to tell him about it by then.
- Jake, do you want to go for a walk in the park after school?
- clear
I could think of something better than the park but there is no time to waste as there is less and less of it.
After school we went to the park, Jake kept talking about something but I didn't listen to him because I was just thinking about how to tell him. I was afraid he would hate me.
-Come on, let's sit down because my legs hurt
-Okay
-Jake I must tell you something
-about what?
I didn't know what to say to him, my hands were trembling and I was pale and afraid of his reaction.
-Pete are you feeling well? You don't look too good.
I was still silent I was all upset
-Pete I've been worried about you for a while, you don't look well, you don't eat enough, you get tired quickly, you keep disappearing somewhere, what's going on?
I finally managed to cough out two words
-I have leukaemia
Jake froze saying nothing.
-But what do you mean?
And that's when I knew there was no turning back and I told him everything.
-Few months ago I found out that I was sick I tried to tell you but I didn't know how. First your birthdays but you know it's not a good moment for such news, then I tried to tell you when we were in Brazil but you were very worried about your dad and I didn't want to upset you more, and when he died I didn't want to keep it a secret because you were suffering so much and at that time, after the situations with the pills and the bridge, I was devastated because I was afraid you wouldn't be able to stand it. I'm sorry now that you are better, I didn't want to spoil it for you but I know that I couldn't wait any longer because it would have been even worse, I'm sorry.
I was all in tears, I looked at Jake and he was crying too
-I'm sorry Jake that I didn't support you and you were afraid and to tell me about it I'm sorry that instead of focusing on yourself you kept dealing with me
-NIE I'm sorry
Jake hugged me and kept telling me not to worry and that everything was going to be okay and I think it was the first time I believed it would be.
Then we told our friends and Jake's mum about it, I felt better about not having to hide it anymore.
Jake travelled with me to my doctor's appointments and gave me a lot of support, which made me feel better, but I was still stressed because I had an operation coming up and my battle with the disease was about to begin.
Jake
How do you think I can bring a mattress and pillows into the hospital?
Peter
Why?
Jake
Well I don't know how long your operation is going to last and these hospital chairs are uncomfortable, well I have to sleep somewhere because you probably didn't think I was going to sleep on the floor
Peter
Did you want to sleep there?
Jake
Well, after all, if we're going to stay in hospital for a few days, I have to sleep somewhere. You've already got a bed and I've taken a mattress from Grandma.
Jake is very concerned about my illness and has probably read every article on leukaemia. And now he still wants to stay in hospital with me.
Peter
I don't know if this is a good idea I don't know how long I'll stay in the hospital and you're way behind in school
Jake
Don't worry everything is taken care of. My mum spoke to the headmaster and he agreed, and let me tell you I used to think our headmaster was a whiny old mushroom but yet he's super cool.
Peter
Wow it's like you even liked our director then I have no more questions
Jake
What's important now is that you recover, and how you feel
Peter
It's been better, but it's not too bad
Jake
You want me to come
Peter
Maybe
Jake
I'll be right there
He wasn't joking that he would be right away because after only fifteen minutes I heard the doorbell ring and Jake came into my room. I've been feeling a bit worse for the last three days and not getting out of bed and Jake makes sure I'm not bored. He lay down next to me and embraced me.
-You're nervous aren't you?
-Yes, that's where it will all start after the operation 2/3 weeks rest and chemotherapy.
-I know, I know, but just think, this way we could be together longer
-What if something happens during the operation?
-Nothing is going to happen. It's going to be okay, even though I know it's hard, don't think about the idea that this will make you healthy again.
-And my hair will still fall out
-Well, that's true, but rest assured I'll love you even if you're bald. And I wonder what you'll look like
-You'll soon find out
-Maybe you would like to spend these last moments before the operation in a special way
-We can
-Well that's what I wanted to hear, give me a moment.
I have no idea what he is going to come up with, sometimes I don't recognise him, it feels like I know two Jake's, one an optimist who sees good everywhere and the other a pessimist who has had enough of everything. Although I've always lived with the optimist the pessimist has also appeared, I'm afraid Jake can't take it and he'll come back
-Okay they'll be here soon
-Who?
-Special task force
He wasn't wrong with that description because after about half an hour Thomas,Sarah and Christine entered my room.
-Did you think you'd get a break from us?
-I've got plenty of games so we'll have something to do
-And I will take care of the good atmosphere
I was glad they had come and we played lots of games of cards in which Jake was the champion, monopoly in which Christine became a millionaire and a few others. Towards the end of the evening, when everyone had gone, I started watching a series about the hospital, I don't know why, because I never liked them and now I sit through them for a couple of hours every day. After a couple of episodes I turned it off and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't because I was really nervous about the operation, which is coming up soon, and in two days I'm going to hospital. Somewhere around four o'clock I went to the kitchen to drink some water I don't know if I made any noise because my dad came in.
-Can't sleep?
-Somehow not
-You're nervous aren't you?
-Yes
-I'd be surprised if you were calm, I'm nervous too because it's a major operation but you know what calms me down?
-What
-Because I know you. Because I know you're strong and you can do it.
-My body seems to have forgotten about it
-Peter, come on you think you're weak, you think it's going to be bad or that it's going to end badly, it's not going to be bad at all, you're going to have a tough time of it but you can do it, look what you did during your illness, others in your position would have been completely devastated and you learnt to control your fear, for example when you supported Jake after his dad died you didn't think about your pain or fear but his, that means you can control it. You control it and don't let it control you.
-You're right Dad
-Sure I have, now go to sleep because you have a lot of work ahead of you and you need to have strength.
Dad was right I will be fine, I drank the water and managed to fall asleep.
-Wake up as long as you can sleep, it's already twelve o'clock
-What's going on? -I thought I'd get a longer sleep tonight but I was wrong-Jake was in my room and he'd even started packing me off to the hospital already.
-Pete pack you some games?
-Wait what? I'm not awake yet
-I'll ask if I should pack you some games so you won't get bored while you're there.
yes yes sure
-Well done
- what will you walk there with?
-Mom bought me pajamas is in the wardrobe, I'll show you
-You don't have to-I'll manage-he went to my wardrobe and found my pajamas
-This one?
-Yes
-See you'll be ready soon, what time do we leave?
-Morning- Jake is sleeping over at my place tonight because he's washed up that he has to go with me. In fact, we often sleep at each other's place usually when something happens.
-Okay, I think it's all packed, do you have a list to see if it's all there?
-Yes I have on my phone already checking
Brush
-is
-Pyjamas
-is
-Toothpaste?
-is
-Shampoo
-is
Charger
I will later take
-And I'll still get myself some books to read
-But not any crime stories
-why
-You will not read to me about killings and deaths, you understand
-okey then I won't take anything
-I'll find you one
I'm glad Jake is with me I don't know how I would have coped if he wasn't there. Once I was packed Jake told me to get dressed because he was taking me somewhere.
-Where do you want to go I should get ready
-You're ready now and I'd like to take myself to a certain place, so don't grumble just get dressed
-Well, I can see I'm not winning with you
We went to the park, I didn't know what he wanted to do there but then he showed me what he had done. Under a tall tree there was a blanket and cushions spread out and he surprised me with this, seemingly not much but sometimes such small things give more joy than some big attractions.
-And what do you boo
-Yes, and very much so
-I wanted you to spend your last day somewhere quiet and not at home where you would constantly be thinking about the hospital.
-Thanks
-No thanks just sit down, I've got the cards so we can rip if you want?
-Bright
-But first, give me your phone
-What Why
-You're supposed to take a break from it, every now and then you're just looking at how much is left until tomorrow and you're supposed to, take it easy
-Okay
We've played probably every game we know and even invented our own. It's probably our favourite pastime almost every day we play cards and Jake laughs that we'll be world champions at it in a while. I think we spent the whole day there but it was fun. When we got home my parents and Sophia and I had a little party, we sang karaoke and even played puns, but eventually it was time to go to bed and it all starts tomorrow.
-Are you sleeping?
-no, and what can't you sleep too? Nerves?
-Yes, I'm afraid I don't know if I have enough strength to win against the disease.
-You have, you have
-you are sure that everything will be fine
-Sure, Pete we've dealt with difficult situations many times before, Come this is extreme level we'll deal with it too, no matter what happens we'll deal with it together. Now let's try and get some sleep because we won't get up tomorrow.
-Okay- it calmed me down a bit but the vision of the hospital didn't help.
In the morning we quickly got cleaned up and went, my mum did all the paperwork and after about thirty minutes I was already in the Hall. While I was getting changed Jake had laid out a mattress for himself no joke he was going to sleep here.
-Well, let me tell you, you look sexy in those pyjamas
-Thanks, and you're seriously going to sleep here of course and what did you think I was joking about?
-Something like this
-You see you were wrong, I have something for you
-What's that?
-Maybe it's a bit silly but I've written a list of things I want us to do together when you get better
-And what do you think?
-We have to do it all
-Only for us to succeed you have to get better, get better?
-Yes
-I ask will you recover?
-Yes I will recover
-Say it without conviction, say it out loud will you recover?
-I said it so loudly that a nurse came into my room and Pet and I started laughing that we were about to be thrown out of there.
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