Third Person

~

They lost their match.

Kira couldn't even bring herself to sigh as she was still breathing hard sweating puddles until the ground. She wanted to kick something but there on the open court the was nothing she could take her anger out on.

Especially when there was no one to blame other than herself. If only she had spiked that last one, then their teams would have tied. But she missed, she wasn't quick enough.

She could feel Sasaki's burning gaze berating her more than usual as they sat quietly in their team's assigned changing room.

"Chin up ladies, you held up well." Coach Makino tried at lifting their spirits, "It was just a practice game, remember this feeling of defeat so you'll never want it again."

"Yes Coach." Was their subdued reply.

Kaito excuse himself from the room so they could all get to changing.

Kira sat back while everyone was leaving, unable to bring herself to go with them like nothing happened. Why hadn't anyone said anything, no one had blamed her or even hinted at it?

Sasaki had just avoided her gaze the whole while.

"Hey, Vermillion." She looked up to see one of the other first years on the team, Kusamatsu Izumi, het shoulder length brown hair fell in layers around her face and she was slightly taller than Kira, "Hinode-san said you should quit moping and join everyone on the bus back so we can talk strategies before closing for the day."

Kira nodded stiffly.

"I actually volunteered to call you, because...I want to tell you something,"

Kira studied the other girl with little interest, 'Just get it over with, blame me.'

"You haven't been doing your best recently," Kusamatsu said firmly, "And I just want to say if you don't wake up and put your head in the game soon, I won't hesitate to replace you."

Kira's eyes widened in disbelief, narrowing into a slight glare but the girl went on.

"I really want to play too, but when I saw you and Sasaki during the tryouts, I knew I didn't stand a chance, but since then, you've been slipping. I don't know what's always on your mind but I don't care. Sasaki isn't your only challenger now, I'm practicing so you should up your game too if you want to keep your spot as a regular."

With that, Kusamatsu turned on her heels and hurriedly left the room.

Kira watched after her, several emotions ranging from annoyance to anger swimming inside her.

She wanted to throw it off as a bunch of big talk from some jealous classmate but she saw how passionate even those on the bench were.

How they grew along the regulars during practice.

Her phone rang, she swiped without looking and snapped at whoever the was, "What?!"

"It's Haru." The small slightly frightened voice replied, "I wanted to call and ask how the game went and if you could come-"

"It was terrible," she stated bluntly, "Listen Haru I'm not in the mood, we'll see tomorrow right?"

Haru heard as she hung up before he could say anything. He stared at his phone screen, chest suddenly heavy.

He tried to convince himself that she was only curt because she was sad from losing a game but the thoughts of her just being tired of him couldn't be kept away.

'Who would honestly want to friends with you?'

'Wake up, look at her, she's got a bunch of friends who are all cool and good-looking.'

'You don't stand out.'

'Just face the facts.'

He buried his face into the pillow to keep the voices out and just tried to not exist.

***

The next day at school, Kira was feeling pretty bad for how she snapped at Haru, she broke up from Troy on the way to class and was about to go into Haru's when he came up behind her at the door.

"Haru, good morning."

"Good morning, is anything wrong?" He asked, his voice had lost the little bit of confidence that had come ilto it over the past few days.

"I wanted to say sorry about yesterday."

He smiled slowly, "I'm fine, I've gotten over it."

"Don't get over things too easily," She punched Hime lightly, "To some people that's a sign of being a push over, c'mon be annoyed."

He looked breifly confused before scrunching up his face in what he hoped looked like anger.

She chuckled.

He joined her almost immediately, "I was thinking that we could do something else today, like hang out."

Kira stopped laughing, looking a bit thoughtful, "You know, Moriko already invited me out for a cheer up outing since I was in such a bad mood yesterday. We're going to the mall."

Haru's own smile fell, of course she'd chose her real friends over him. What was he thinking?

"Haru...you can come if you want to."

"I...I can't stay out for too long, my parents..." He didn't complete his sentence and walked around her into the classroom.

Kira wanted to go in after him but the bell rang and she couldn't be late for class.

When she came back during both the break and lunch times, he was strangely not in his seat and no one knew where he'd gone to because, of course, none of them were his friends.

Why would the bunch of idiots that spread rumours about a shy, nerd boy care.

She tried calling him after school but he didn't pick up. She sighed, deciding she'd visit after the trip to the mall

***

"Aki told us you had another student home for tutoring the day before," Haru's father said as they ate lunch in the family dining room. His father was tall and lean man, severe, eyes hidden behind wire rimmed glasses.

His parents had raised him to only eat a meal at home and not outside like all other people. He could occasionally buy a snack then and there but over all he must be a picture of discipline.

"Yes." Was his simple reply.

"I'm happy to see your mind isn't removed from our goal."

He nodded.

"I need a proper response, Haruno." His father chided.

"I-I mean, yes...sir."

"No stuttering."

Haru swallowed thickly, the suffocating feeling he usually got around his parents coming back, he was so happy his mother was yet to return or it would be far more worse.

"Father, I wanted to ask something?"

"Proceed."

"I...want to add a few more things to me room." He wanted to at least try, after his talk with Kira he felt a bit less anxious, maybe if he pushed back slightly.

"What more do you need other than what we've provided?"

"I was thinking some posters and another shelf."

"Your room has been tastefully decorated Haruno, growing men don't need those things."

"Other kids my age-"

"Haruno please, I have a headache and can't deal with a confrontation right now." His father snapped.

"I just-"

"You shouldn't want anything," His father bit out simply, Haru felt that drive straight through his heart "We gave you life and a comfortable living, you should be grateful and obedient."

Haru's shoulders sagged, more reaffirmation of how he didn't matter, "I'm sorry sir."

"Good, if your sister had been this respectful she'd have lived longer."

"Why do you always talk about her like that?" Like she didn't matter? But he didn't say that.

His father shot him a scathing look, "Watch that tone."

Haru got up and left to his room not bothering to excuse himself like he usually did.

He changed into some better clothes and left after hearing his father's car leave the compound once more.

It was wierd how he had gotten here?

On the roof of some abandoned housing building not far from his neighborhood.

He'd contemplated it several times, just running away and leaving everything behind. They wouldn't care, they'd just see it as another inconvenience to their goal to have the perfect trophy family.

Like his father's father and the one before him.

He was becoming increasingly irritated with everything. He constantly failed at the one thing he wanted to do and wasn't allowed to pursue the passion he wanted.

He was stuck in this cycle of endless darkness and dark voices making him hate himself more.

'People deserve more than a coward.'

'No one cares.'

"Stop talking." He sniffed, tears pouring down his face.

Right now, he just didn't want to care, he wanted to dash their dreams, ruin the plans they'd made for so long.

This was probably what Aoi had felt when she walked out head high after being disowned. Finally making a decision they couldn't take away or reverse.

He didn't have the courage to face the outside word. He wasn't that brave, people scared him by simply being themselves.

So there was the next best thing.