Dan held the door to the passenger seat and was about to take Jan from me to place him in the booster seat when my mouth moved on its own

"Can't I just hold him?" I ask looking up to meet Dan's confused eyes, I quickly turn my gaze back at the sleepy head in my arms thinking I must have creeped the father out... But on the contrary, he just gives a wide smile that can probably brighten even my dark soul.

" Yes sure, I'll get you the baby carrier," he says diving in the back seat and pulling out the carrier immediately. He then aids me to fasten it without waking up Jan while I have to stand having his gorgeously hot face so close to me that I could faint with a heatstroke any minute!

After being satisfied with the work he goes on with his gentlemanly demeanor and helps me take the passenger seat in the front comfortably... All this while what I do is show the world how different shades of red can be displayed on a single stupid face!

Now about being clingy to the kid, you all might believe I'm weird, but that's who I am. Even when I was young and my parents took me to the park, instead of playing on the slides or swings or with the kids of my age I used to go up to babies and ask their mums if I could play with them.... Or just play with random doggos. Some mommies were sweet but then some were "Karen" they thought that a toddler could kidnap their baby!

...My mom...mmm she was the most cheerful and caring person, I ever had in my life, and my soft side is all thanks to her. About my dad, he was like my superhero, I wanted to be like him- dependable, strong yet kind. Though I hardly remember their faces, what I remember are just glimpses of me playing around with my parents and going to parks and all kinds of places, since my parents loved to travel around... and..... The last thing I remember about them is the road trip.........

I shake my head to end the thought process and then peek at Dan, since I felt eyes boring into my face for a couple of minutes now and that's making me shift nervously in my seat. But before I can process the odds, he suddenly pulls up to a corner of the street, with concern written over his face. He doesn't say anything which makes me go crazy with all the overthinking for the millionth time, however, after a long silence he finally speaks up,

"Alex, are you okay? You seem pale, is it getting uncomfortable holding Jan?? He can be heavy for that small-looking body of his..." He asks with a small grin, trying to make the mood lighter but his playful eyes do hold a hint of seriousness. I didn't know why he is being gentle towards me, who is a total stranger to him...

'Maybe he's kind and soft inside with all that tough guy exterior' my inner Angel reasons. Well, I have gone places for better or worse...

Mostly worse because of these little pieces of s***…. I mean these guys in my head, so NOPE, I'm not trusting them anymore!

"Nothing" I reply with a small smile hoping he will give up on enquiring any further, which thankfully he does.

'Whoosh!' I give out along-held breath internally. 

"Alright then Alex, we'll be there in 10," he says flashing me a smile of his own while ruffling my hair a little.

I suppose his gesture is a surprise to both of us since he fakes a cough and immediately turns away, changing the gears, and driving us back on our way... 

I can hardly see his face anymore for which I'm thankful since he is no longer looking at me, cause my face felt hot with all the blood rushing in. 

The rest of the drive went on in silence though Dan kept stealing glances at me through the rearview mirror, which he had adjusted to look at me for some reason... 

'Maybe I gave him the "poor soul"" image and he's just too soft to leave me alone', I shrug off the matter with that thought.

The car comes to a halt in front of a huge building. Dan gets out quickly and walks his way to my door, opens it, and helps me out like the most natural thing ever.

Back to the scene,  Dan's treatment towards me like I'm a maiden or some lost princes with all of his gentleness is making me awkward and flabbergasted since it's my very first time receiving such positive attention and I absolutely have no idea how to act about it except being all timid and blushing like a dufus.

While I'm waiting at the entrance, Dan hands the car keys to the valet who takes the car towards I guess the parking. 

Damn, this guy appears to be some big shot!

'System alert!!! Caution!!!' my inner Angel warns me of the impending danger.

He is exactly the type I want to avoid the most right now. But then again, have I ever taken the red flags seriously??? Well, obviously NO!!!

Although I do remember planning to disappear soon after lunch.... Watching the not-so-restaurant-like building has me kind of panicking...

I'm still contemplating making a run for it, however, my eyes land on the cute Chocopie strapped to me sleeping soundly. I try to even my breathing with a few deep breaths and decide to follow the man in his den and see if this sheep returns alive.

'I'll just drop this cutie home and walk out immediately' I affirm to myself.

Dan seems to have noticed my inner conflict from afar because of my expressions...He hurries towards me looking what seems to be like nervous?!

' Yeah you look like you want to take a shit!' my inner Devil grins evilly.

'Just shut it for once!! Stupid bitch!' I just shouted in expectancy of receiving some peace.

"Since Pup was sleeping already I thought we could have lunch at home and you could play with him for a while after he wakes up too..." He scratched the back of his neck even more nervously.

"Maybe I should have asked you beforehand? But you seemed down when we were in the car, I changed plans midway seeing you that way... Also, it looks like you really like playing with Pup... He will be overjoyed to have you around too... So..." He trails after rambling for a mile per minute!

But I never thought this guy could talk so much. Not complaining though! His voice is deep and kind of sexy almost like a blessing to my hollow ears... 

'STOP right there you stupid demon!' I shut my Devil trying to slip in any more tempting thoughts in my head with ""Dumb Ways to Die"" playing in the background...

Since I'm a hundred percent sure his wife might just kill me if she even gets a hint of my inner drama over her oh-so-gorgeous hubby!

Anyway, I end up agreeing to go along with them and Dan immediately lightens up.

He is greeted by the receptionist and some other staff on the way. We go towards the elevator and ding! It's the topmost floor in a jiffy...or so I think! 

Dan opens the only door on the floor with his card key and we enter an open hallway with another smaller elevator in the center which looks even more exquisite, it has only two buttons with the sign 'up' and 'down' while some other buttons have weird signs on them which I don't understand.

We go one floor higher and with that, it's officially confirmed that I'm in some deep deeeppp shit!

'Enough with the sirens. Stop it before I smash it myself!' I warn my inner Angel and he complies with a sad face. 

Now, even though I'm damn sure this guy is not somebody I should be going with to any kind of place let alone his DEN - I mean home,

'Things hot guys make you do!' my Devil smirks, and I silently agree with him for once!

Whatever, we are finally inside an apartment complex that consists of the entire topmost floor. I hand Jan over to his Dadda and immediately miss his warmth. Dan walks away with his little sleepyhead into a different room maybe to put him in his bed and returns with a smile.

"Make yourself home Alex," he says, gesturing to a light grey sofa. I nod and take a seat in a corner of the said sofa while Dan sits across from me.

I look around and see a maid going in and out of Jan's room. I had also seen an elderly man who looked like a butler and had greeted us silently at the entrance. 

It seemed like Dan had a telepathic conversation with him since the butler had nodded and disappeared in thin air after that.

We are now sitting in awkward silence when I go on to ask the obvious,

"Is Jan's mother not home?" I ask, immediately regretting it... 

Dan's face suddenly drops wiping away any sort of happiness from his face and sadness seeping into his once playful eyes. 

My question brings back the awkward silence and I mentally slap myself multiple times for prying in his personal life. 

I zip my lips and evade any sort of eye contact with him which causes me to admire the surroundings.

The living room we are in at present is huge and shines brightly because of the white interior design that screams wealth. It is lavish with all the matching furniture and some abstract paintings hung on a huge wall on my right. There are a few marble sculptures that possibly can look alive if colored with the right shades. The ceiling is very high up with beautiful complementary pieces of chandelier hanging off it. The edges of the floor above can be seen because of the open roof architecture. Any person standing on the floor above could easily view what's happening in the living room including the home theatre that is set on the wall exactly opposite to me.

This is the most beautiful way the white color has been ever used! I had lived in a place with similar colored walls the memories of which are still haunting me. So, it's quite surprising that so much white doesn't have me rolling in anxiety by now...

While still exploring the beauty of the structure around me, my eyes fall on the owner who keeps glancing toward his son's room and the floor below as if forming words inside his head. On the other hand, I keep cursing and loathing myself for speaking without thinking for the umptieth time... I'm brought out of my internal monologue with the sound of a loud sigh. 

"I'm single...now... Jan's mum is my girlfriend... Or 'was' I must say..." He chuckles stressing the 'was' sadly. 

"I liked her very much... We were college mates and had eyes for each other for quite a while... Not wanting to miss the chance, I asked her out with the intent to marry her one day. We shared a beautiful relationship for around three years and had planned to stay together after college too. But soon after college was over we ended up getting pregnant with Pup, one night while drunk, right after moving in... I was over the moon when I heard the news my girl had told me on the verge of tears... I tried to comfort and reassure her for a few days that everything would be alright..."

Another loud sigh...

"We had been together for so long and were just out of college and I was still struggling with my business setup. She wanted to study further and had said that she couldn't give up on her career for a kid back then... It broke my heart into pieces... I wanted to bring OUR kid into this world but, I also didn't want to make her suffer because of my selfishness. Even though I had tried every way to make things work out, it didn't turn up well. At last, I pleaded with her to give birth to our Pup and I'll be the one who takes the entire responsibility to raise him and won't interfere with her life at all. I said I would wait for her all she had to do was say the word...… Although I just wished she could come to love our child in the process and rethink her decisions, but..... She just disappeared after Jan was handed to me."

… sigh~

"Well I don't blame her though it was all unplanned" he shrugs trying to put up a strong front, but his eyes hold a different story, as they turn a shade darker with moisture, if that was even possible.

"I'm still happy to have Pup. It was the best decision of my life!" he finally says after a long silence with love overrunning the sadness in his eyes as if remembering some precious memories.

I wanted to run to him and wrap him in a hug at that very moment, but since comforting a huge adult like him with words, or any way for that matter is the last thing I would ever be good at, all I do is give him a sympathetic nod with the most genuine smile plastered across my face since we met.

He returns the smile and directs the most loving look towards his Pup's room.

For the first time in my life, I hated myself for lacking communication skills. Though I was pretty good with children I didn't know what adults liked to hear in these kinds of situations. 

Well, Liz just hugged me whenever I needed calming.

Oh, Liz! Mmm or Lisa I must say, was one of the nurses at the place where I grew up to get this shitty selective mute personality!

However, she was more like a motherly figure to me. She was a strong believer in the phrase 'young forever', and hated when anyone referred to her as an old woman resulting in me calling her 'Liz' instead... She had landed the job since it paid a hefty amount and the work nature seemed like any other hospital... Also, her husband was fighting cancer and the place promised to cover his treatment. He eventually lost the battle... 

Liz had grieved in silence, but, with nothing left to fear in her life, she had refused to crumble any further and made a resolve to set the kids free somehow. 

However, our plan had crashed, resulting in my solo escape...

I had thought of returning back then, the kid's faces haunted me but it was too late, I was already in a foreign place miles away... 

With my faith in the divine long forfeited, I had still managed to pray every night for her and the other kids and also for my only friend if that's what we were...

The sound of Jan's small footsteps filled the room and got both of us out of our thoughts as we shifted our focus on the bundle of joy swaying towards us.

"Dadda," he calls rubbing his eyes with one of his hands (what a Cutieee!!!).

He soon looks up at me as if trying to recognize who the person in is... And as soon as realization dawns on him he displays the biggest toothy smile I have ever seen!

"Lexieee!!!" he says excitedly dashing towards me, latching on my leg and bouncing in his place happily. I immediately lift him in my arms and smile at him brightly.

"Let's go! I'll show you Mr. Pan" he says wriggling his cute little butt and pointing his small finger toward his room.

"Lunch first Pup and Alex must be tired of holding your chubby butt" Dan chuckles at his son's cuteness which makes him pout even more cutely!

He takes Jan from my arms and swings him up making him burst into a bout of laughter. Dan then places him on the floor and the kid immediately takes off towards I guess his room squealing in joy. I miss the warmth and fluffiness yet again... But yeah guess my chocopie does weigh a lil since my hands were a bit numb... No complaints though, I'll do it thousands of times if needed....

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