Warning: really brief mention of past self-harm

Mika threw up, the blow he had just received in his stomach making him hurl bile. He had nothing else inside. Now at seventeen, after spending one year in a dark cell, he was finally freed. His father had come this morning and taken him out of the cold room by his hair, throwing him on the ground outside and stepping on him.

"I hope you are done with your little tantrum now. In exactly one year, you will have to take over my seat. You can't afford to act stupid." He had said before releasing him and leaving, his black cape flowing behind his straight robust back and making his blond mane stand out. Mika had looked at his departing figure with soulless eyes.

His father hadn't mentioned his birthday. Not like he ever did.

Now, he was supposed to train with his teacher and improve his fighting skills, but the lack of food in his body kept him from freely moving. Every cell in his body screamed for rest, but he wasn’t allowed to. Mika had every reason to hate his father, to cuss him out, but he knew. He knew why his father was going to such length to make him stronger. The King was afraid.

There was another thing that made the royalty special, it was the fact that not only they could reproduce with every type of Weres, but with other species like vampires too. Even more shocking, men of royalty lineage could carry children just like women. It lead to many past torture, as the vampires were normally infertile, and his father was once confined and forced to carry a vampire’s child. In the end, though, his father had killed the vampire and the child hadn’t survived. However, the trauma had stayed and he wanted to make sure nothing similar would happen to his son.

It was the reason Mika didn’t lose hope, he wanted to make his father proud. Maybe if he reached the King’s goal, then he would show him love and dote on him. 

For now, he was failing. Miserably so.

Not only could he not be his father’s ideal son, but his morals weren’t like his. It was what led him to be imprisoned for a year. Mika, in one of his history’s classes, had stupidly asked his teacher if Weres and Vampires could not reach a compromise. Weres could donate blood and Vampires would protect them against hunters and pay for the blood bags. No one had to get hurt or enslaved.

A hurricane of beatings and curses had followed his question.

For his father, it had only been a tantrum that Mika threw to make him upset. A sort of small rebellion against the King. If only he knew what was going on in Mika’s head, he would have a heart attack.

Mika dodged a blow to his head by bending his knees. An opening showed itself as the teacher twisted his body by following his punch and Mika went under him and uppercutted him in the stomach with a weight transfer. His strike sent the man flying and he crashed on the ground.

The teacher raised his head and glanced at the black werepanther standing above him. The young man had grown to be attractive, his body well-proportioned, if only a little malnourished, but with good muscles. His greek’s features coupled with his turquoise eyes could make any man and woman swoon at him. Mika was tall, but because of his low self-esteem, his pack was often hunched, making him appear shorter. All in all, he was physically fitting to be the next king and the teacher could tell that many people would like to have his kittens. 

Mika’s only default was his mentality, but with time, he had learned how to please people and make them think he was the same as them. Nobody could guess how little confidence he had in himself, how much he hated everything and how peace-loving he was. It was a secret that he would take to his tomb, because if it was known, it could lead him there early.

"It’s enough for today, prince. We will resume our sparring tomorrow." The teacher said before getting up from the floor and heading toward the showers. Mika waited for him to be gone before collapsing on his butt. His breath came out in short pants as his hand sweeped back his black mane, making the black panther’s ears twitch on top of his head. 

Mika was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower with a lavender scented shampoo, put on his dragon onesie, have someone groom his fur, wrap himself in his fluffy cover, make himself a cute comfy nest and read a good romance book, but he needed to wait until everyone was done showering before going there. Anyways, he couldn’t do any of the above. He wouldn’t be able to get any hot water by waiting like that, his father banned any scented shampoo (it supposedly made him scent weak), he couldn’t afford to put on his onesie, in case someone came see him and discovered it (his father forbade him for wearing anything "girly"), he had never been groomed before, he only had a cold blanket with rough tissue, his animal side could never find himself a safe enough place to make a nest and the only books he was allowed to read are political ones.

The only thing that could happen was to get hot water to take a good shower, but the showers were public (Weres were normally quite comfortable with their body and nudity was not something to be ashamed of). Mika didn’t feel good in his body and he mostly hated the panther spots marking his skin, like a constant reminder that he was a failure. He also had a really dark time which led to him having deep lines of scars on the inside of his thighs. He had succeeded in stopping the bad habit, but it could always come back. More importantly, weakness was not accepted by his community and he couldn’t afford to let them see the scars.

Mika could already hear his father’s screams if he was to learn that his son had mental problems. He thought it, in fact, sounded really real in his head, only to realize that the King’s screams were real. He seemed to be seething in the distance, but what really scared Mika was the fact that his father was screaming his name.

After swallowing with difficulty, Mika stood up and headed toward his private hell.

Hey dear readers, poor Mika only wants to be himself 🙁

Do you relate to what he wants? I sure do

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(1 115 words)