Lying back on the ragged sheets, which I was using as my bed, today's events started playing in my head... 

"What a day!" I mumble, exhaling a relieved breath, happy that my life has finally started taking a turn towards a brighter direction.

However, the cheerful moments didn't long last as the darkness outside started to consume me from within... 

Tears start rolling down the side of my eyes making the sheets damp... All the positive thoughts flipped into negative ones within a blink and the facade that I had managed to pull for the entire day was washed away with the salty water...

'What if today was just a dream and I woke up to find myself in the same old place with my limbs strapped and multiple needles pierced in my veins at different sites like it happens every week, leaving me almost dead, without food or water just because I failed them again??? What in the world did they want from me even???'

My mind turns blank as horror seeps into my system turning my breathing erratic while sweat drenches my clothes and my my lungs feel heavy making it increasingly difficult to breathe... It's as if I have been thrown into deep waters.... desperate to get back at the top however, with my limbs tied up, all I can do is watch myself getting farther away from the bright surface...

Phantom pain with heat starts building up throughout my body and the self-inflicted suffering becomes unbearable with each passing second... 

'We need to calm down... please' my inner Angel cries while pleading as he helps me with my breathing.

I try reminiscing about the happy time with Jan and his Dad, as well as Emily who seems to care about me. But it's of no use, instead of happiness, only dread takes over my senses...

   

'For how long this dream-like state is going to last??? What if they hunt me down or hurt the people around me for helping me??? No..!!! Please!!!' 

More tears stream down the corner of my eyes and I end up losing consciousness due to the exhaustion of the day and the struggle between my mind and heart that my body has to keep up with the minimal nutrition...

I ended up fainting after crying tons and then landed into a deep coma...

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Morning rays fall on my face awakening me from my exhausting slumber. The mornings are always fresh cause that means I get to live another day and I'd like to start them with an earthly positivity!

But you know how my""Earth"" just gets drowned due to my self created""Global warming!"" Sometimes so yeah... I try to do my best! 

*( Hopefully, my Nerds get this line at least (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~ ). 

Also, the nightmares and sleep paralysis are a part of my life now... First, it was about Mom-Dad then about the orphanage, and then finally the best of all we're from the center...! And trust me, you never get used to it.

   

Moving on... I don't have a cell phone, since I thought carrying the one that Liz had handed me might just help 'them' trace my whereabouts, so I threw it away as soon as I entered the new land.

'I could get a secondhand phone with my first paycheck' I plan while getting freshened up at the nearest public toilet.

'Don't you eww me you damn Angel. I also wish to get a fresh perfumed bath but for now, some water and soap works just fine!'

I put on the second-best outfit from the three pairs I had, the first one being already used for the job hunt on the previous day, and head out for my very first day to work after carefully hiding my stuff so that no one steels it. 

I'm so excited since my life is ultimately starting to change for good this time...

I start humming 'The Time of My Life' from the movie Dirty Dancing along the way and get to know from the big watch at a pharmacy store that it might be too early since Emily had told me to clock in by 10 a.m. and it's just half past 8. 

But still, there was nothing else I could do after waking up super early, so I decided to take the longer route while exploring the neighborhood.

Soon I'm on the familiar lane where the Cafe is situated and the thought of getting to see my Chocopie crosses my mind since his school is right around the corner, which makes me even happier as I pick up my pace. I didn't have the slightest idea when his kindergarten opens though... All I know from yesterday's event is that it finishes around 2 p.m. So, I can just hope that his school timings match with my work schedule...

Jan's kindergarten is in my view by now and I can see some kids around too with their tiny backpacks.

'Yay! I'll get to see my Honeybun' I rejoice...

'And hopefully, the mouth-watering Daddy too!' the Devil inside me smirks while dramatically licking his lips...

As usual, I ignored him and the next thing that caught my attention was a wailing Jan refusing to go inside the school accompanied by a worried Arthur, who was on his knees trying to calm down the 5-year-old. Without realising my feet had already taken me to where my Chocopie stood.

Arthur glances up and his face lightens up at the sight of me. His expression changes to that of a relieved father... Well, this man had a masked face like most of the time yesterday what happened for him to be beaming this brightly at me???

*(Alex can now make out subtle changes in Arthur's expressions while he is still the same with a blank face for the world. However, he doesn't realize that and thinks it's Arthur who has turned more expressive!) 

"Thank God! it's you, Alex..." He says in a somewhat calmer tone...Just then Jan's head shoots up and he starts to cry louder.

"What's wrong Chocopie?" I say with the softest tone and pick him up in my arms, running a soothing hand on his back, waiting for the cutie to stop crying since it's also breaking my heart to see his eyes all swollen up and face red with all the weeping.

"Lexie...hic... le-left me with-ou-out...hic... saying bye... Even Dadda...left Jan" he keeps on sobbing on my chest clutching my shirt with his little hand as if to keep me from disappearing like yesterday.

My heart shatters into thousands of pieces...

'What a thrash!!' my inner Angel and Devil both say in unison. Which I don't know is directed to my cowardly self or the Dad.  'Don't bother to respond since I think both of us are.'

"I am so sorry Honeybun, I just had some work I needed to do urgently, I won't do it again, I promise!" I say tightening my hold on him while stroking his hair gently.

"Sorry for the trouble Alex," Arthur apologizes nervously.

"Lil Jan was crying all night and Danielle was also restless after you left, he had said that he couldn't drop you home, which caused him to worry... Jan slept with difficulty after we promised him that you'd be returning to play with him again."

Sigh~

"However, Dan suddenly had some urgent business to attend early in the morning and had to leave before Jan woke up so that had lil Jan bursting into tears again... I was getting worried about him... Since he barely cried this long before..." Arthur recollected looking at Jan sympathetically.

Between all the explanations, Jan had ended up crying himself to sleep his tiny hands still laced around my neck. I felt worse for leaving without saying goodbye to my Chocopie and causing him so much distress...

Since I lost my parents at a young age I can relate to this fluffball in my arms, he is at the age where the lack of one of his parents already bothers him... But this brave boy tries to be happy no matter what. He might have felt really lonely to break down like this which is also out of character according to Arthur...

'He looks like a baby Koala latched to it's mother' I smile to myself glancing at the sleepy head in my arms.

However, I'm suddenly reminded about the Cafe and that I have to be there before 10. I did not want to be late on my first day... But Jan has just fallen asleep and knowing that he might have got little sleep last night, I don't want to leave him like this again... especially when Dan's not around. Also, he might wake up before I reach their place after my shift ends and that will be a total disaster!

I wreck my brain to find a solution when Arthur finally breaks his silence,

"Alex you might be busy... I'll just take lil Jan home for today," he says reaching out for Jan.

An idea lightens up in my head and I ask Arthur if he can come along with me to Emily's Café where we can ask her to let Jan sleep on the sofa in the staff room, so I can be around if he wakes up. Arthur thinks for a while but then nods in agreement with a small smile.

"Won't your boss be mad at you? We might cause inconvenience at your work, Alex. Should we rather stay in the car?" Arthur asks as we reach the Cafe's doorsteps.

I glance at the huge animal wall clock and give out a relieved breath after noticing that it's 9:30 a.m. and I'm not late...

"No Arthur, we-" I'm about to convince him otherwise, however, Emily's whispers fall on my ears out of nowhere...

"Alex, sweetie! I see you got some cute company there!" She says eyeing sleeping Jan in my arms.

  

"What's wrong??" She asks slightly worried when both I find it difficult to ask for the favor.

"I'm sorry Emily to be causing trouble on my first day... But you see this boy is someone I know and his parents are not home so he is been crying since then..." I peek at Emily to check if she is mad, but finding only worry in her eyes I continue my little story.

We were already ushered to take seats inside. I cradled Jan in my arms as we sat at one of the tables in the cafe since there was still some time for it to open while my Honeybear continued to snooze peacefully.

"So Emily... I would like to ask if Jan could sleep in the staff room for a while. Once he wakes up I'll tell him that I'll go to his place so he doesn't cry anymore..." I explain further.

"Oh Sweetie! You could have just asked right away... No need to sweat it! But the staff room is off the charts since it might upset other part-timers... I have a better option!" she winks and stands up beaming brightly.

"I hope we are not obstructing your work Miss..." Arthur says with his usual small smile.

"Not at all Mr...?" Emily glanced towards me and back at Arthur

Obviously, the introduction was forgotten! So, finally do that and they quickly exchange pleasantries.

"Now, let's get this little Angel to bed... Shall we?" Emily declares rather than asks and we follow her on steps to the 1st floor.

She opens a tiny room with queen sized bed and lets us know that it's the guest room and can be used by Jan and Arthur till my shift ends.

Emily had spoken about their home upstairs and how she was no longer with her husband but just Max and herself when we had chatted yesterday.

Arthur and I quickly thanked her and put Jan to bed. I suggested Arthur to notify me if the cutie woke up as Emily had already permitted me to check on him if needed.

I hurry back downstairs and we finally open the shop after a couple of preparations. The morning goes by with a light wave of the crowd however, the rush increases around lunchtime and I move my hands faster to complete the orders.

Emily is like one of the ideal bosses who effortlessly handles the flow between the customers and workers without burdening anyone in the process.

I placed another batch of orders at the counter and while doing so met Emily's eyes who was already starting in my direction. She seems to be impressed by my capability since she shoots a thumbs up while arching her eyebrows at the number of drinks I had landed on the counter at once. 

Well, my work abilities are a result of my duties of making drinks and baking simple items for breakfast and evening snacks for the special staff of around 100 people everyday. So yeah, this crowd didn't phase me at all...

The rush ultimately died down around 3 pm and I was almost idle by then. So, I decided to check up on my Chocopie and get Emily's permission before doing so.

She agrees with a smile and also proposes to bring the duo downstairs for lunch since it is way past lunchtime.

I happily head towards the staircase and as I am halfway up the flight of stairs, faint sobs are heard from the guest room. I immediately rush towards it and find Jan rolled into a ball of sadness in Arthur's arms while Arthur tries to sweet-talk him.

     

"Jan!" I call out as I hurry to their side.

"Hey Chocopie I'm here, sorry I didn't come sooner..." I say in a small voice which thankfully makes him finally look at me. 

I take him out of Arthur's arms and sway while walking around in the room as he plays with my shirt with a cute pout over his lips.

I  wipe away his tears with my free hand and place him on the edge of the bed while I kneel down to meet his eyes and place my hands protectively around his little butt.

"Lexie let's go home," he says with quivering lips as if holding back another batch of tears...

I wish I could leave everything and carry him home if that's what is going to make him feel better. But I try to think rationally and put my year-long experience of playing with toddlers to use...

"I'm sorry Honeybun, Lexie has to work right now just like your Dadda does...But you can come with me downstairs for a while, and guess what? The lady downstairs gives cakes to brave kids. So, If you promise to play with Arthur till my work is done, I'll let her know how brave is our Jan too???" I try to coax my sweet Bear.

Jan finally loosens his hold on my shirt and glances at my face as if to check if the facts stated are worth trusting!

The tiny customer looks unsure which is not a good sign for me, so I chip in another offer which he cannot refuse... 

"If Honeybear completes his mission successfully, Lexie promises that he'll go with Jan to his home and play!" I present the best deal I have and it gets immediately sealed when my cute Bear squeals a "Yesss!"  giggling with happiness... 

Arthur witnesses our little negotiation with amusement and adoration in his eyes.

I fail to contain myself and end up showering my Chocopie with kisses, earning heavenly laughter from him

"Let's go Arthee!" Jan wiggles his chubby but in my arms and we all eventually head downstairs.

'Whoosh! Mission complete!' I rejoice internally.

'Good to see one snotty brat convincing another snotty brat!' my Devil chips in his unnecessary comment.

'This Babybear is the ultimate treasure of cuteness!' my inner Angel goes all mushy over Jan's charms.

Well, I swat away the Devil and let my Angel be where he is...

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹⚜️⚜️⚜️🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

   (~ TO BE CONTINUED...)