I sat in the passenger seat of Toby’s car, watching the uniformed students of Redwood Private school pour out at the dismissal.
“It’s weird,” Toby started, breaking the silence between us. “I wonder why they get off an hour later than us…”
“There’s nothing odd about it, Tobs. Maybe private schools kinda work like how catholic schools work. I used to get out at 4:30 pm every day without fail in elementary school.” I tried to reason with Toby, keeping my eye out for Hal in the sea of students. After a couple minutes, I spotted him, his uniform not as neat as the other student and his blazer over his arm. But something felt off about Hal. He looked kinda down and out of it rather than his usual self when he’s around us.
“Toby, he’s out, do you want me to get out and get him or-“
Beeeeeeeep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
“God, Toby…” I said with a slight groan as the students looked at our direction as Toby kept honking his car’s horn. I slowly slouched into my seat before opting to just throw myself into the back seats.
“Chill out, Cee-cee. Windows are tinted, no one can see us.” Toby said with a sight chuckle in his tone.
“Yeah, I know. But still… I hate being the centre of attention, especially here on another school’s ground. We can get arrested for disturbance of the peace-“
KnockKnockKnock!
I let out a slight yelp at the sudden noise on the window and ducked under the seats as I heard Toby unlock the doors to the car.
“Woah, Cessair… you good?” I heard Hal’s voice, I looked up at him in relief.
“Thank the stars that it’s just you Hal.” I said with a slight quiver in my voice, getting into the back seats.
“Who else would it be?” Hal said with a soft chuckle, getting into the passenger’s seat of the car and putting his uniform’s blazer and sling bag in the back with me.
“Cessair is scared that we might get in trouble because of my honking.” Toby said, starting the car.
Hal let out a soft laugh, “Don’t worry, little man. I’d cover for you too and say some other kid just set y'all's car alarm off.” He said with a smile, looking back at me over his shoulder. “You worry so much…”
“Enough worrying,” Toby announced, pulling out of the parking lot. “It’s arcade time, and rules are - no school chat, no worries, only fun and us being dumbasses.”
I exhaled through my nose, looking out of the window as Hal chose the playlist for the small journey to the city.
---
“Hal?” I said between breaths, keeping my eyes on the screen as I followed the steps given, feeling the rhythm of the music flow through me and move my body.
“What’s up?” I head Hal chime up behind me, watching me play.
“You looked kinda… not yourself when you came out of school earlier. Is everything okay?”
Hal stayed quiet. I couldn’t look over at him to see if I could read his facial expression, I just could feel his vibe change in the air as he was thinking.
“Yeah… I’m alright. Nothing to be worried about. School was just a bit stressful today…” Hal spoke, something about his tone sounded off.
I finished the song and let out a sigh, looking back at him finally only to see him leaning against the support bar of the game cabinet, looking to the side lost in his head. I stripped off my sweater, leaving my white button-up tee and my arms warped in gauze to cover my exposed scars, wrapping the sleeves around my neck as if I was one of those people in the county clubs.
“Hal… something is bothering you.” I said, leaning on the remaining surface of the support beam. “Talk to me. I’m always the one rambling on and on about my problems.”
“Cessair, it’s fine.” He said with a smile, “Let’s go play that one new rhythm game, I think I’ve seen it a couple times”
Even with my Alexithymia, I could tell that smile wasn’t genuine. Something was bothering Hal in school and he doesn’t want to tell me. Either because he knows he might just add to whatever is going on with me now or just doesn’t want to put a downer on our Friday afternoon in the city. I wanted to help him but I couldn’t.
“Hal… how about we play one of those older game cabinets in the back. I’m pretty sure Toby is back there.” I said with the softest tone I could get out of my flat voice, taking his hand in mind.
Hal looked up at me, his eyes glazed with whatever emotion he was feeling now but he still pushed a smile out onto his face. “Yeah… okay…”
---
I watched Hal and Toby as they tried out the new shuffling rhythm game the arcade had to offer, both getting frustrated over the amount of misses they were getting.
“Cessair, how the fuck do you even play this shit? How do you do whatever it is when you play?!” Toby said, laughing.
“I have a weirdo as an older brother that taught me how to shuffle. Both of you are so stiff, this game is all about free styling it.” I said, exhaling at how goofy they looked.
“But you looked so cool though!” Hal said with a laugh as well
“Just keep trying, both of you have three more games left. You still have time to get some combos.” I said, keeping an eye on Hal the most. He was smiling again, I could tell it was a real one this time and that put me at ease.
“Get your ass on the last machine, we can all play together and you can absolutely wipe the floor with us.” Hal called out as the two finished the first round.
I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off the side of the game’s cabinet, making my way to the last one, getting on it and reaching in my pockets for the arcade card. Suddenly I was shoved out of the way and stumbling back into Hal.
“Well well, Harvey. What do you have here? This your little play thing?” One guy said, accompanied behind him was probably his friends. All of them were wearing Hal’s school’s uniform with slight alterations to make them a bit more fashionable.
“Go away, Aaron.” Hal huffed, pushing me slowly behind him. “Did you really follow me here?”
“That’s none of your business.” Aaron said with an eyeroll. “So what do we have here? A loser with the people he pays to hang out with him?’
“And who are you? I thought frosted tips were left behind in the early 2000s.” Toby chimed up, getting in front of me too as if something bad was going to happen and I shouldn’t be involved at all. “No, really Hal… who are these guys?”
“They’re no on-“
“No one?” Aaron scoffed, making his way to Hal an putting his arm around him, pulling Hal to his side. “Hal is on the Rugby team, he’s my teammate. And the pussy who can’t even kiss a girl.”
“Oh, shut up. I just don’t see a need to be in a relationship okay?” Hal said, shaking Aaron’s arm and going back in front of me.
I saw Aaron stare at me, his eyes looking me up and down. I could feel his eyes focus on my chest. Aaron let out a scoff with a slight smirk as he stared directly at my upper torso. That reaction was enough to prompt me to hug myself, my arms covering up my chest area.
“Well, looks like Hal as a thing for wannabe-boys.” Aaron said with a slight chuckle, getting his crew to snicker and whisper among themselves, getting closer to me, making Hal block me off from him.
“God, I just want to see your little friend here. Don’t you know sharing is caring?” I heard Aaron say in a tone that I wasn’t familiar with. Maybe it was mocking? Or the tone that Charlie or Toby would use when he’s messing with me.
“No fucking way are you getting close to him.” I heard Hal say, a slight growl in his tone. “Toby, I want you and Cessair to wait in the bar area. Make sure you’re near the exit. Just wait, okay? I’ll be out in a second.”
“Hal…” I said, my voice shaking only to feel Toby take my hand and lead me away, my eyes never leaving the scene till the two of us were out of the arcade area.
---
I picked at the basket of fries we ordered, waiting on the drinks we ordered.
“God, where are those drinks we ordered… pretty sure we’ve been waiting here for them for fifteen minutes.” Toby sighed out, taking a fry and eating it. “Gonna question the server - Excuse me!”
I kept an eye on the hall that connected the dining area of the place to the exit and the arcade area. I saw Hal and his schoolmates pass there, Aaron shoving Hal and his crew laughing at him. I could tell that Hal was really holding something in. I wanted to intervene so badly but what would I do? I’m far too weak and small to fight the people picking on Hal and I don’t want to get Toby to do what I can’t. I couldn’t help but just feel like I’m a shitty person for not going after them. I rested my head on the table staring off.
“Cee-cee, I’m just gonna ask the server at the bar cause I don’t see anyone else to help us here with our drink order.” Toby said, making me look up at him, resting my chin on the wooden surface.
“‘kay, Tobs…” I muttered, still lost in my thoughts of Hal. I watched Toby slip out of the booth and walk off. I just closed my eyes, pressing my forehead onto the table, taking in the coldness of it. It felt like maybe only a couple seconds till I felt someone sit in the booth Toby and I were seated in.
“Wow, you were able to get our drinks that-“ I raised my head only to be met with Hal, sitting there looking to the side, his face beaten in, bruised and a tissue stuck up one of his nose to stop the blood getting onto his uniform’s now dirtied dress shirt.
“Hal!” I said, my voice quivering as I scooted closer to the larger male. “Did you fight Aaron?!”
Hal looked down at me and smiled slightly, hissing in pain silently. “Fought all of them. I’ll be fine, little man… Not my first fight with them. I play Rugby too, so… nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“Hal, you’re beaten up pretty bad… God, we’re definitely stopping by my place so I can take care of you…”
“No, that’s not-“
“It is Hal, it’s the least I can do…”
Hal’s expression softened and he pulled me closer to him, cradling me in his slightly muscular arms. “Thanks… you know, this is probably the most worried I’ve ever seen you. Or the most emotion I’ve seen you shown in the time we’ve known each other. It’s kinda cute.”
“Shut up…” I muttered, fiddling around with his uniform’s tie in my fingers.
“What was so bad that it broke out in a fight anyway? If… you don’t mind me asking.”
Hal hesitated, I felt him take a deep breath before speaking. “Aaron was mostly focusing on you rather than Toby and I… he kept going on about how you’re somehow a fake guy and a wannabe-boy… I don’t get it.”
I felt a lump in my throat form as Hal looked down at me, examining my face.
“I mean, yeah… you look kinda feminine for a guy but you’re a guy. A real guy.” Hal said with a smile, fixing my messy hair with care. “Aaron and his friends are just weird straight people… the type of guys that are obsessed over being manly and all that.”
“You’re more manly than all of them combined, ‘kay?”
I nodded slightly, relieved that Hal didn’t notice Aaron staring at my chest area earlier.
“Woah there, Hal. Since when were you interested in Cessair that way?!” Toby laughed, seeing that he finally got our drink orders. “When I said we were gonna be the only two guys that were gonna love Cee-Cee, I meant platonically.”
“I know that much, you weirdo.” Hal chuckled, scooting closer to me to let Toby take his seat in the rounded booth. “I… I just love Cessair like an older brother would…”
“Ew. Creep.” Toby said in the tone he’d always use when he’s messing is Hal, Hal shooting back a glare.
“Shut up, Toby…” I said, sitting up a bit but still leaning against Hal’s side, pulling my drink over in front of me. “Kuya Hal, you can share my drink with me if you want. Now tell me more about you being on the Rugby team at your school.”
---
…I didn’t know that Hal was being bullied like that at school and by his own teammates. Guess it happens to the best of us.
I’m just glad that I wasn’t found out today… and I guess that’s where I say “I’m grateful for that”… the thing is, I don’t. Hal and Toby deserve to know. But not now… I don’t know how they would react or anything of the sorts. It’s just safe to play safe till I know if they’re actually safe… I said the word ‘safe’ too much there.
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