I smile when I think of someone 

and for once, its not him, I say

It's no one but another human.

It's difficult, to be frank

to admit that something changed

Why is it like this? Damn

I know I should be blamed.

Feelings like this

Its never easy, you see

It ruins relationships

And i don't want to lose our friendship.

Oh, these feelings,

I hope they soon go away

It's bothering how every interaction

goes array

I want to see him just the same as everyone sees him

minus the sparkles

and the background music

that plays when he crosses to me

I don't want to think about how he teases me all the time

or think that something's different when he's the first to interact with me

I don't want to feel butterflies when he extends effort for me

or enjoy the way we fight as if we want to kill each other but laugh about it afterwards

This is frustrating

can't friends stay as friends?

I'm losing sleep thinking of him

and goddamn, he's the same since he's fighting with me

Pulling an all nighter just to fight each other

but giggles behind the screen as if kids from kinder

I want to slap myself in the face, or should I just do it to him?

Why won't these feelings go even when I said no?

If I can't force it out, better to hide it

I've ruined good relationships before just because of these feelings

No, history musn't repeat itself, at least not to me

For I am contented of what we have, contented of our friendship

or am i?